AIBU to be pissed off with these school mums?

[Akiddleydiveytoo]

DD1 is in yr8 and about 3 weeks before the end of last term a letter was sent home to inform parents that, as a result of uniform standards dropping over the last few years they were going to start enforce the uniform rules more vigorously in the new school year. As part of this we were told that jeans, leggings, jeggings and skinny trousers were no longer going to tolerated and anyone in breach of these dress codes would be placed in isolation until the acceptable uniform was brought into school to change into. As well as the letter home this message was subsequently emailed to parents, put on Facebook and Twitter so people could not fail to see it in one form or another. It was made VERY clear that only tailored trousers (or skirts) would be allowed.

Over the school holidays there were a number of posts on the parent's Facebook page asking for recommendations on where to get trousers from. Lots of parents responded with links to skinny trousers. I (and some other parents) pointed out that these were no longer allowed but the responses were always 'well my older DD always wore them and she's never been told off' or 'DD will only wear skinny trousers' or 'the tailored trousers just don't look right on DD, she's too skinny' etc.

Anyway, first day back today and, as predicted, a LOT of warnings were given out to girls in skinny trousers/leggings. Instead of going straight to isolation, however, as the letter said, they were given a yellow slip to take home to their parents and given until Monday to sort out the correct uniform.

Cue a torrent of outrage on the parents Facebook page. Emails, letters, phone calls to the school to say how outrageous it was and how they'd spent a fortune on these trousers and how they weren't prepared to buy anymore. Giving any excuse under the sun why their DDs can't possibly be expected to wear proper tailored trousers etc.

AIBU to be really pissed off with these parents? They were given at least 9 weeks notice of this and the consequences for not conforming were made very clear, they just didn't feel as though the rules applied to them. OK, they might not feel as though uniform is all that important for learning but if the school imposes a (reasonable) rule you follow it right? It would have cost them just as much to buy tailored trousers as it would skinny. What example are they setting their DC if they're teaching them they can just ignore rules that they don't like?

But employers, like me, that want to help grow their staff (and their pay) are looking for willingness to learn and a positive attitude towards work.

As are employers in countries where schools don't have uniforms. They don't seem to have any problem in recruiting satisfactory employees.

YANBU: it is not one rule for one and one for another.

These parents take this attitude to life in general and it will always let them and their kids down.

Parents do not dictate the rules in school. If you don't like the rules, go elsewhere.

@Spottydog34 being willing to eat shit doesn't help you progress, either. The point is that way too many people bang on about respecting authority when a lot of 'authority' deserves no respect at all. Unfortunately, decades of right-wing propaganda and legislative meddling have made it harder and harder for people - either schoolchildren or employees - to be able to stand up for themselves and resist exploitation and petty tyranny. If you work for a company which polices what you wear, demands almost unlimited control over your time and behaviour and yet pays you so little that you are having to use a food bank, then you ought to be able to tell them to go fuck themselves. But many people can't do that, because they would, literally , end up homeless and starving.
And the schools with expensive-but-poor-quality uniforms in poor areas expect low-income parents to keep on paying out for garments that fall to pieces after a few washes, or shoes which match some weird arbitrary standard every time the kids' feet grow a bit. And if they don't obey, the kids get excluded or put in isolation. These uniforms are all about teaching DC to submit to Authority even when there is no rational basis for the rules (the uniforms are both ugly and impractical) and Authority keeps moving the goalposts in order to exclude and punish more people.

Yanbu several schools near me have changed the trousers to ones with a logo n at twice the price of supermarkets, so there's no choice. It's probably because of parents that let their kids wear the completely wrong type of trousers so they're not helping. Your school must be pretty laid back if kids have been wearing jeans though!

My daughters school has decided last minute that “no frilly socks” are allowed, and apparently they are moaning that some ankle socks are too long. Well I bought her uniform just before the holidays (checked the website to make sure nothing had changed) before they decided this new rule and tbh they can wait a couple of weeks until I’m able to faff about getting the perfect length non frilly socks they request! Her socks only have a very small frill not big flouncy things. Everything else is as they request and always has been.

@Spottydog34 being willing to eat shit doesn't help you progress, either. The point is that way too many people bang on about respecting authority when a lot of 'authority' deserves no respect at all. Unfortunately, decades of right-wing propaganda and legislative meddling have made it harder and harder for people - either schoolchildren or employees - to be able to stand up for themselves and resist exploitation and petty tyranny. If you work for a company which polices what you wear, demands almost unlimited control over your time and behaviour and yet pays you so little that you are having to use a food bank, then you ought to be able to tell them to go fuck themselves. But many people can't do that, because they would, literally , end up homeless and starving.
And the schools with expensive-but-poor-quality uniforms in poor areas expect low-income parents to keep on paying out for garments that fall to pieces after a few washes, or shoes which match some weird arbitrary standard every time the kids' feet grow a bit. And if they don't obey, the kids get excluded or put in isolation. These uniforms are all about teaching DC to submit to Authority even when there is no rational basis for the rules (the uniforms are both ugly and impractical) and Authority keeps moving the goalposts in order to exclude and punish more people.

This is so true. And sickening.

I'm on the fence.
On one hand it's annoying when one wont follow the rules but really is their any job where uniform is so strictly inforced you cant take you jumper off unless your boss oks it? (Ppe excluded obviously)
I don't think uniform needs to be so strict.
I don't understand what's wrong with some cargo trousers and a polo shirt? Smart enough and much more likely to be nearer uniform worn in the work place.

The point is that way too many people bang on about respecting authority when a lot of 'authority' deserves no respect at all. Unfortunately, decades of right-wing propaganda and legislative meddling have made it harder and harder for people - either schoolchildren or employees - to be able to stand up for themselves and resist exploitation and petty tyranny. If you work for a company which polices what you wear, demands almost unlimited control over your time and behaviour and yet pays you so little that you are having to use a food bank, then you ought to be able to tell them to go fuck themselves. But many people can't do that, because they would, literally , end up homeless and starving.
And the schools with expensive-but-poor-quality uniforms in poor areas expect low-income parents to keep on paying out for garments that fall to pieces after a few washes, or shoes which match some weird arbitrary standard every time the kids' feet grow a bit. And if they don't obey, the kids get excluded or put in isolation. These uniforms are all about teaching DC to submit to Authority even when there is no rational basis for the rules (the uniforms are both ugly and impractical) and Authority keeps moving the goalposts in order to exclude and punish more people.

Well said, completely agree

Parents do not dictate the rules in school. If you don't like the rules, go elsewhere.

That's ridiculous. In many area of the UK, the choice of going elsewhere isn't available and wouldn't remedy the problem anyway because the chances are that other schools in the area also insist on people buying expensive uniforms. It's particularly ridiculous when the parents have been perfectly happy with the rules but the school has changed them arbitrarily.

To the people saying it doesn’t affect their learning. Uniform is part of life for most jobs. It’s teaching children these rules. You have to set a standard. Annoys me when parents complain they can’t afford it yet their little darling has a new iPhone, Vivienne Westwood shoes and a designer coat!

43brighteyeowl17

"To the people saying it doesn’t affect their learning. Uniform is part of life for most jobs"

Not most jobs, not teachers, office workers, retail etc. Also, a uniform usually najrs it easier/safer to do a job (hygienic 'uniforms' for medical staff etc).

Blazers and ties etc are often tight and uncomfortable so do not help learning, IMHO.

Uniform is part of life for most jobs.

Is it? Have you quantified that? In a working life of 48 years, I have worn a uniform for precisely 2 months! Though I will admit that today there are more jobs with uniforms than there were years ago. And, even so, you don’t have to spend 12 years wearing a uniform in order to put on the uniform your employer provides. You don’t get better at it with practice- it’s not like learning French! If it were the case, with the majority of primary schools now having uniforms, by secondary all uniforms would be immaculate.

Annoys me when parents complain they can’t afford it yet their little darling has a new iPhone, Vivienne Westwood shoes and a designer coat!

Who are these people? Are they friends of yours? If so, your friends are liars. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t many families who struggle to afford uniform.

But it isn’t part of life for most jobs, bright. Sure, there are some jobs that have a uniform. Most don’t, though. I have never worn one in any job my entire life. Same goes for DH, my sister, parents etc.

In any case, even where a job does require a uniform, it’s not as though putting on clothes is so tricky that kids need 13 years to practice to prepare for it! The stories about young people apparently not being able to cope with adhering to a dress code at work, if true, will reflect a general reluctance to conform sufficiently to get paid for doing a job. A good work ethic, and ability to play the game when required, comes from attitudes fostered across all aspects of life during childhood, such as meeting homework deadlines etc. We don’t need to be so literal about assuming it can only come from more than a decade of wearing an impractical and uncomfortable uniform that is often not suitable for the activities one will be doing.

Like I say, I’d be happy to see uniforms abolished. No problem at all with that. But, where the uniform says X and the students do Y, and the rule isn’t enforced? That doesn’t prepare students for a working life where policies and procedures actually do need to be followed.

I’ll just leave this here...

www.askamanager.org/2016/06/i-was-fired-from-my-internship-for-writing-a-proposal-for-a-more-flexible-dress-code.html

It's not an unreasonable request from the school. I'd be pissed off with their reactions as it shows their sense of entitlement. But i'd also be eyerolling and having a laugh at some of their facebook rants. And their sad pouty likkle faces possibly in a daily fail article.