AIBU to be pissed off with these school mums?

[Akiddleydiveytoo]

DD1 is in yr8 and about 3 weeks before the end of last term a letter was sent home to inform parents that, as a result of uniform standards dropping over the last few years they were going to start enforce the uniform rules more vigorously in the new school year. As part of this we were told that jeans, leggings, jeggings and skinny trousers were no longer going to tolerated and anyone in breach of these dress codes would be placed in isolation until the acceptable uniform was brought into school to change into. As well as the letter home this message was subsequently emailed to parents, put on Facebook and Twitter so people could not fail to see it in one form or another. It was made VERY clear that only tailored trousers (or skirts) would be allowed.

Over the school holidays there were a number of posts on the parent's Facebook page asking for recommendations on where to get trousers from. Lots of parents responded with links to skinny trousers. I (and some other parents) pointed out that these were no longer allowed but the responses were always 'well my older DD always wore them and she's never been told off' or 'DD will only wear skinny trousers' or 'the tailored trousers just don't look right on DD, she's too skinny' etc.

Anyway, first day back today and, as predicted, a LOT of warnings were given out to girls in skinny trousers/leggings. Instead of going straight to isolation, however, as the letter said, they were given a yellow slip to take home to their parents and given until Monday to sort out the correct uniform.

Cue a torrent of outrage on the parents Facebook page. Emails, letters, phone calls to the school to say how outrageous it was and how they'd spent a fortune on these trousers and how they weren't prepared to buy anymore. Giving any excuse under the sun why their DDs can't possibly be expected to wear proper tailored trousers etc.

AIBU to be really pissed off with these parents? They were given at least 9 weeks notice of this and the consequences for not conforming were made very clear, they just didn't feel as though the rules applied to them. OK, they might not feel as though uniform is all that important for learning but if the school imposes a (reasonable) rule you follow it right? It would have cost them just as much to buy tailored trousers as it would skinny. What example are they setting their DC if they're teaching them they can just ignore rules that they don't like?

I think it does become the OP's problem when the school has to spend hours enforcing the uniform policy that could be spent on more productive things.

Or they could just spend the time doing the more productive things, instead of finding pointless things to get worked up over 🤷‍♀️

@Wolfiefan

I don't understand why people get so worked up about something that really doesn't matter. Kids spend most of the time at school, well primary school, running around, sitting on the floor, why would they want to do that in leather shoes a shirt and tie and tailored trousers. My kids school do a mile run every other day and they do it in their uniform. I wouldn't go for a run in a shirt and tie and leather shoes

Tbh they should enforce a proper uniform either school dress skirt or trousers instead of Jean's and top otherwise the lines are always going to be blurred.

@WineOclock2019

What about when the other girls are wearing skirts, surely they will be showing some leg?
I would question the school as to what type of make teachers they have in their staff if they are going to be distracted from their work by a young girl with a bit of ankle sticking out. What is this the 1800's! I would request a meeting with the school about that crap.

I agree with a poster upthread that said some rules are stupid and some parents think they are above all the rules

Our school had a uniform of blazer as well as shirt tie, smart skirts/trousers in certain colours, people did break the rules (dd) but generally they all looked smart and put together I suppose

They have relaxed the rules and changed the colours and i feel that may have been a mistake as the children who pushed the rules but could only go so far can go much further

I think a lot of people are completely missing the point about what @WineOclock2019 posted.

Yes, to suggest that a flash of ankle will distract the male students is ridiculous, to the point of comedy.

But to say that regulation trousers that are too tight around the thighs and bum will distract the staff is deeply worrying. This is no different to saying that women ask to be sexually assaulted, with the added implication that the staff this school employs are weak-willed perverts and it is the students’ responsibility not to tempt them. It is wrong on so many levels. @wineOclock 2019 I implore you not to focus too much on the ankle part when you complain and to make sure that the reasons for this second statement are fully explored and explained by the school.

As the pupils and staff could potentially have porn on their phones at the touch of a button, I'm wondering what we as a society plan to do about that distraction rather than worrying about if the girls trousers are too tight!

You re absolutely right, Aardvark.

I think uniform can be positive as kids spend less time on agonising about fashion choices ( and more time figuring out how to flout uniform rules .)
I was very pleased when the local comp clamped down on short skirts. As my driving instructor commented...the girls in very short skirts looked like "jail bait"

I spose thats a bit victim blamey but long pleated kilts are not as sexual as tight mini skirts.

I hope you dumped your driving instructor after that vile comment, malificent.

God help the Teachers if the parents are happy to tell the children to basically ignore the rules.
And god knows what they will be like as adults.
The future looks bleak.

I don't know why schools have to have such strict uniforms.

I remember when I was at school, I didn't have an 'approved' black v-neck on. My iron on school logo had fallen off. The headmaster tried to confiscate it but I told him I had a black bra on which all boys would be able to see under my white school blouse. This was a lie to keep my v-neck.

He proceeded to tell me I should wear a vest under my blouse and I responded with 'but it's too hot when I'm wearing a v-neck'. I then got a lecture on the appropriateness of wearing a black bra to school. As a 14 year old, you can imagine my joy in his face sinking when I said I'd go to the papers about him trying to dictate what underwear girls could and couldn't wear to the school. V-neck stayed on, he went away. And no, I wasn't one of 'those' students. I never had detention and got A grades across the board.

And that was years ago, I imagine it is substantially worse now.

I agree with cassia dreadful thing to say

Plus school girl kilt is deffo a sex thing to some people

The vast majority of sexy catholic school girl costumes online have a kilt

(Short kilt obviously and please don’t ask me how i know)

KUGA THIS exactly, god help us all if the younger generations are taught to do whatever you like if you don’t agree with it. Some of the comments on here make you cringe, it’s terribly immature. They’re probably the idiot parents who call school to demand their kids don’t do detention, reprobates the lot of them. 😷

It doesn’t affect you so I would just sit back and watch the drama unfold. No need to be angry etc. They are right that the trousers their kids have doesn’t affect their learning but rules will have consequences if broken and that’s for the parents to deal with. What annoys me is the cardigans at our kids school are £23 each and up by three pound for the next size up. It’s crazy and I think that shouldn’t be allowed. I’ve complained to the school though so we will see what happens. I wish I could get the cardigans from somewhere like Asda and get the logo put on somewhere.

@Drogosnextwife people are talking here about secondary school. It’s about being smart and turning up to school ready to learn. Our local secondary now uses a specific supplier because the way kids were turning up to school was completely inappropriate. It’s not about staff being distracted. Yuck. It’s about the students themselves not turning up ready to learn.

I’m not entirely sure why it matters if trousers are skinny fit tbh. Tailored trousers aren’t cool when you’re 14/15/16 so I can understand them wanting to wear skinny ones and it doesn’t affect anything. If they’re the right colour then they still surely fit uniform code.

whattodo

Our school was no skinny fit trousers

Boys were rarely picked up on it (dd was) but they were picked up constantly for their socks (as was dd)

I think sometimes it just depended on the teacher

@Wolfiefan

I just can't understand why uniform, or everyone dressed exactly the same equates to being ready to learn.

Children in other countries manage it fine in non uniform schools. I'm absolutely certain they are not all leaving school illiterate 🤷‍♀️

And the distraction comment was to a pp who said her dds school had told her exactly that, that teachers and boys would be distracted by her dds ankles showing, and he trousers being slightly fitted around the bum and thighs, so yes you're spot on, that is yuck! Infact it's disgusting.

Only Year 5 but I'm pretty certain that DD turns up to school in (today) her T shirt, leggings and trainers perfectly ready to learn, just as I can turn up to work in top, jeans and trainers (as I do most days) perfectly ready to work. Again, pretty sure most uni students' clothing doesn't affect their learning.

In fact, one could argue we're both more ready because worrying about clothing, be in whether we've got the right uniform shoes or because the uniform is uncomfortable, would be a big distraction.

British people have been brainwashed into this belief about uniform, it's utterly baffling. We're not all off to be mandarins for the Empire anymore, you know!

And I can assure you I'm not "one of those parents". I am very much in the camp of teachers are always right. I don't bother the school about anything, even although there have been a few things I have been really unhappy about. Uniform isn't something I'm about to get worked up over as it does not affect my children's learning. Also the school never complain to parents about petty uniform quibbles anyway. Perhaps they are more interested in actually teaching the children, no matter what clothes they are wearing.

@WineOclock2019 You should suggest to the school to change their uniform rule. I think Burkas might be more appropriate, since apparently every mm² of skin or close fitting distracts the boys and male teachers.

Maybe spend some time in a U.K. secondary school. Try and teach 30 kids in a classroom setting. Or manage a lunchtime fire drill.