AIBU to be pissed off with these school mums?

[Akiddleydiveytoo]

DD1 is in yr8 and about 3 weeks before the end of last term a letter was sent home to inform parents that, as a result of uniform standards dropping over the last few years they were going to start enforce the uniform rules more vigorously in the new school year. As part of this we were told that jeans, leggings, jeggings and skinny trousers were no longer going to tolerated and anyone in breach of these dress codes would be placed in isolation until the acceptable uniform was brought into school to change into. As well as the letter home this message was subsequently emailed to parents, put on Facebook and Twitter so people could not fail to see it in one form or another. It was made VERY clear that only tailored trousers (or skirts) would be allowed.

Over the school holidays there were a number of posts on the parent's Facebook page asking for recommendations on where to get trousers from. Lots of parents responded with links to skinny trousers. I (and some other parents) pointed out that these were no longer allowed but the responses were always 'well my older DD always wore them and she's never been told off' or 'DD will only wear skinny trousers' or 'the tailored trousers just don't look right on DD, she's too skinny' etc.

Anyway, first day back today and, as predicted, a LOT of warnings were given out to girls in skinny trousers/leggings. Instead of going straight to isolation, however, as the letter said, they were given a yellow slip to take home to their parents and given until Monday to sort out the correct uniform.

Cue a torrent of outrage on the parents Facebook page. Emails, letters, phone calls to the school to say how outrageous it was and how they'd spent a fortune on these trousers and how they weren't prepared to buy anymore. Giving any excuse under the sun why their DDs can't possibly be expected to wear proper tailored trousers etc.

AIBU to be really pissed off with these parents? They were given at least 9 weeks notice of this and the consequences for not conforming were made very clear, they just didn't feel as though the rules applied to them. OK, they might not feel as though uniform is all that important for learning but if the school imposes a (reasonable) rule you follow it right? It would have cost them just as much to buy tailored trousers as it would skinny. What example are they setting their DC if they're teaching them they can just ignore rules that they don't like?

These people need to be told that meaning lies in the word 'uniform' . It's same for every one and just because their daughter is skinny doesn't mean she gets to wear something different. They are there to study, not to look good. They were told the rules, they didn't follow them so now they and their kids have to face consequences.

Surprised I haven’t read a click bait article in the Daily Mail yet about a kid being ‘ridiculously’ sent home with an accompanying sad face photo of said child with their chav parents

Totally agree with you op. The school needs to cracking down hard and I hope they do on Monday.
As ever though, it's the chavvy parents and not the DC fault. Bet their DGs are going to grow into nice women.
It's unjust for some and not others to follow rules - and injustice isn't going down too well in the UK at the moment.

They would not learn in my daughters school, coats have to be the exact Brown of their skirts, the coats can’t have fur on them. Trousers and skirts have to tailored and purchased from the uniform shop. They have introduced a new PE kit, this kit was introduced last year and now the old PE kit can not be worn at all just had to spend £145 each on new kit when both my daughters old kit fits them perfectly.

Teen well, that sounds pretty discriminatory against poorer parents, the SLT don’t sound very impressive.

When I was at my (private day/boarding, for context) school in the 80s they changed the uniform and colour, but you only had to get the new uniform when you’d outgrown the old, and of course younger siblings wore their older sisters cast offs. I wore a mismatch of stuff for about 3 years, as did many girls. There were girls at the school who got their places completely free, there’s no way the school could have insisted that all uniform was replaced just like that, it would have been very ethically dubious.

I was top of my class for many years in my mismatching clothes. Very goody two shoes. Oh no, wait, I couldn’t have been, according to some people on this thread.

The best is a Mum just asked on the school parents page if anyone has some certain age school trousers, the night before they go back to school...

Reanimated I absolutely agree with you.

Always a lot of stories like this at this time of year, schools get strict with uniform because it starts the year off with a kick so to speak. I don't have a problem with that but I think excluding from lessons which is why they're there seems a bit silly.

The best is a Mum just asked on the school parents page if anyone has some certain age school trousers, the night before they go back to school...
Maybe they lost them, stood on them etc. Not a very nice thing to laugh at

It annoys me as well. I obey the rules and then get it in the neck from my kids because others haven't. To be honest I think some uniform codes are stupid and I've worked in schools where so much time is wasted enforcing the ludicrous rules that it denies other child vital support but I think tailored trousers is fair.

All the comments uniform is the great equaliser. It isn’t once you have a child with sensory processing difficulties. My son can’t even cope with the feel of some clothing, he can’t cope with baggy joggers, I am greatful he has never had to wear a tie

As an employer, I can tell you that giving kids this sense of entitlement will destroy their prospects. I've had many a work experience come to our company and the attitude is absolutely unbelievable.

The fact that they're skinny jeans isn't the issue. It's following some basic rules and dress codes, it's learning how to respect authority, it's about learning to adapt to your environment. No matter where you end up in life the ability to do the above is an essential social skill

But, yet again, it is simply not the case that children who go to schools without uniforms come out as anarchic savages because they haven't learnt the valuable lessons offered by having to come into school in uncomfortable polyester blazers and expensive shirts with a logo on. That's because they learn the same lessons just as well from adhering to sensible rules about turning up on time, behaving during lessons, doing the required homework etc. If anything, having pointless rules in place is much more likely to encourage rebellion and ignoring the rules.

I love the way people fool themselves into believing that schools do this to make all the kids equal. Not the case, it's a about the schools image. In every other area of life we are trying to encourage children to be themselves and accept everyone's differences, except in schools where they have to turn up like a little clones. Uncomfortable clones at that.

How long did it take you to type that out!!!
Why are you so bothered??? I think you need to get a hobby.

@spottydog - maybe you're a shit employer who expects far too much 'commitment' for the wages you're paying. It's one of the attitudes that pro-archaic, expensive uniform types seem to want to endorse - that children should be learning to be obedient and 'go the extra mile' at work even when being paid shit wages on an insecure contract: they should be grateful to have a job at all. Think of the supermarket changes who insist on an ugly uniform and expect staff to be constantly available for work and unpaid overtime despite being on the minimum wage...The other reason some adults are so invested in the tartan-skirt-and-nylon blazer style of uniform is, of course, that it feeds their unhealthy sexual fantasies.)

Drogo agree it's about managing image. Academies especially are obsessed with making their pupils look as much like grammar/private school kids as possible - blazers, ties, the lot. Whereas the confident comps are happy with jumpers and open necked shirts.

I've never actuly made that link Cassian, that makes sense that they are trying to make themselves look more appealing to gullable parents, who subconsciously think uniform=better education.

Why on earth are you so annoyed about it????? Why would you care this much? Uniform rules are ridiculous and Scandinavia countries whose kids do better than ours think we're v silly with uniform. Get a grip I say!

Perhaps if teachers spent less time getting their knockers in a twist about how long a student trousers are, or what shoes they have on, they would have one less thing to be stressed about, and more time to actually educate 🤷‍♀️

@ReanimatedSGB being entitled and having a poor attitude to work and productivity does not make you progress in life. It's a very simple concept. If you're happy to stay on a minimum wage and a low skill job and are happy that's great. But employers, like me, that want to help grow their staff (and their pay) are looking for willingness to learn and a positive attitude towards work.

I half agree, sometimes you just have to toe the line in life. If I rocked up at work with pink hair (which I'd love to have) I'd be sacked, we have a very long 'what's acceptable work wear policy'. I'm saving the pink hair for when I retire!

I've always followed uniforms to the letter for my DSs however they've never worn grey socks always brightly coloured stripy, I think it's a tiny rebellion we can get away with. We're currently in Year 9 & 10 and so far the sock issue has never been raised.

I agree it doesn't hinder learning but it's more a respect thing for me with a small rebellious streak

Mlou32 Look, nursing staff need uniforms for infection control etc, they go on once you arrive and off before you leave. They are also provided to you so the comparison to school uniform is silly. Did you wear a uniform to college and university while training to be a nurse? Because if not, why not? Why do young children need to prepare for work with a uniform when after school, unless working there is no uniform to be worn. So who is it helping? Also, if you didn’t wear uniform as a kid and the result of which would have made you struggle as a nurse, I’d find that concerning because your job isn’t easy and if adjusting to a uniform is difficult then surely the rest of the job is too much.

It's following some basic rules and dress codes, it's learning how to respect authority

That authority can get fucked when the rule is there purely on a sexist basis, like it is at dd school. The distraction reasoning gets no respect from me
Saying no skinny leg, leggings or whatever cos it's distracting to the boys is bullshit and I will never teach dd her clothing is distracting or a problem, if the boys can't focus that's their problem, not mine or any other parent of a girl.

I’m not particularly in favour of uniforms. However if a school has a uniform policy, then it needs to be applied consistently, and to everyone. Otherwise you get a situation with the “cool” kids in skinny jeans and trainers, and the kids whose parents bought the proper uniform being targeted for wearing it.