AIBU to be pissed off with these school mums?

[Akiddleydiveytoo]

DD1 is in yr8 and about 3 weeks before the end of last term a letter was sent home to inform parents that, as a result of uniform standards dropping over the last few years they were going to start enforce the uniform rules more vigorously in the new school year. As part of this we were told that jeans, leggings, jeggings and skinny trousers were no longer going to tolerated and anyone in breach of these dress codes would be placed in isolation until the acceptable uniform was brought into school to change into. As well as the letter home this message was subsequently emailed to parents, put on Facebook and Twitter so people could not fail to see it in one form or another. It was made VERY clear that only tailored trousers (or skirts) would be allowed.

Over the school holidays there were a number of posts on the parent's Facebook page asking for recommendations on where to get trousers from. Lots of parents responded with links to skinny trousers. I (and some other parents) pointed out that these were no longer allowed but the responses were always 'well my older DD always wore them and she's never been told off' or 'DD will only wear skinny trousers' or 'the tailored trousers just don't look right on DD, she's too skinny' etc.

Anyway, first day back today and, as predicted, a LOT of warnings were given out to girls in skinny trousers/leggings. Instead of going straight to isolation, however, as the letter said, they were given a yellow slip to take home to their parents and given until Monday to sort out the correct uniform.

Cue a torrent of outrage on the parents Facebook page. Emails, letters, phone calls to the school to say how outrageous it was and how they'd spent a fortune on these trousers and how they weren't prepared to buy anymore. Giving any excuse under the sun why their DDs can't possibly be expected to wear proper tailored trousers etc.

AIBU to be really pissed off with these parents? They were given at least 9 weeks notice of this and the consequences for not conforming were made very clear, they just didn't feel as though the rules applied to them. OK, they might not feel as though uniform is all that important for learning but if the school imposes a (reasonable) rule you follow it right? It would have cost them just as much to buy tailored trousers as it would skinny. What example are they setting their DC if they're teaching them they can just ignore rules that they don't like?

I used to take these demands from the school seriously - more than once I have gone out and bought the regulation skirt, the clarks shoes etc, only to find that the school does not follow through with enforcing the uniform code, so that DC will exchange the regulation shoes for the ones she wants to wear in the bus on the way to school. SO now I don't bother anymore. I will buy the regulation things when they enforce the uniform. It's day 2 and no sign of that happening so far.

There's a very funny FB group called "Angry People in Local Papers" where these sort of stories are made fun of. This is called "Home you go" season!

The comments in the article that I saw didn't go in the outraged parent's favour either tbh, pinkelephants! Similar to the OP's current situation, they knew the rules but thought that repeatedly flouting them would somehow be OK for them.

I think - IIRC, it was a while ago - that the parent actually withdrew their child from school because of the rule. But it would be the same in any school, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if the issue was repeated elsewhere!

80% of jobs though, you do actually get to choose which trousers to wear. And who the hell wears a tie nowadays?

Yabu its NOTHING to do with you and I dont see what the difference is between skinny trousers or tailored. Our school has basically every child wearing shirt tie, correct jumper and either black skirt, trousers etc but no type of trouser is specified. Everyone looks smart. Regardless of what type of trouser leg they have on.

I hate people who think they are too special to follow the rules. It really annoys me.

AIBU to be really pissed off with these parents?

A bit, yes. Not your Circus, not your Monkey in skinny jeans

YANBU in that they had plenty of notice of the rule change.

But unless the school could directly correlate dropping standards of dress with dropping academic or behavioural standards, it yet another stupid uniform rule that just fucks people off, that the school have to waste time and resources policing.

I wish British parents and schools would just get over their bloody love of uniform and this believe that it’s the cure for all ills, and no one ever gets bullied once they’re in uniform.

I don't think YABU to be pissed off, schools have limited resources and time, and time taken sorting out stupid uniform issues is time taken away from more important things like teaching! So indirectly it does affect everyone.

No one said skinny trousers affects learning. But if they start to relax the rules then pupils will wear more and more inappropriate clothes and it will start to affect learning eg bullying over people who cant afford certain brands etc. Uniform can give a sense of belonging and improve outcomes if they are adhered to. If you dont agree, dont send your kids to a school with a uniform. If they relax the rules for some they have to relax them for all.

In the office environments I've worked in there isn't a strict uniform code but leggings, jeans and jersey material are all on the banned list.

I think uniforms are a good leveller. If I hadn't had a uniform to wear to school, I would have been picked on mercilessly. My mum thought jeans on girls were 'common' 🙄 and used to buy me clothes that were more suited to a 50 year old. It was great when I started earning a bit of money when I was a teenager - the first thing I bought was a pair of jeans!

AmIRight In all the office environments that I’ve worked in, there’s no dress code and jeans, leggings and jersey material are all absolutely fine.

Do you have the source for your claim that uniforms give a sense of belonging and improve outcomes where no uniform doesn’t? I’d be interested to read it. DD’s primary has no uniform and it certainly isn’t true of her school.

I think the gender stereotype comment was about your male policeman and female nurse.

neck you don’t know that. Believe you me, it’s perfectly easy for the bullies to find something about your appearance or clothing to pick on if they want to.

Tinkly little laugh..any job that has high standards does generally require smart dress code !! I am all for it ...it’s called discipline and taking a pride in your job !! A smart appearance is crucial for people to take you seriously and show respect !!

Sounds pretty normal, ignore some clear instructions, your child gets called out on your screw up. So naturally come up with a telephone book full of excuses why it wasn't your fault.

@cass oh I know, I was bullied all through secondary school for various reasons. Not having a uniform and having to wear the clothes my mum bought to school would have been something else to add to the list. So I'm grateful there was a uniform - one less thing to be bullied about.

YABU to let them bother you. As long as yours was in the correct uniform that's all that matters. The world needs people like these, I know they can be frustrating though, especially if you go by the rules

Grandmi my job has very high standards. Still no dress code.

My son goes to none uniform school, I spoke to teacher on open day before I applied . He said it meant he didn’t spend the first 10 minutes of the day dealing with uniform issues he could get on dealings with real issues.

Friend uniform school , specific trousers ordered online only . One size too small next size up too big ? What do you do?

This winds me up every year, always about this time when the schools go back. There’s always an article in the Daily Mail et al with some parent complaining their kids have been excluded for not following the rules. How hard is it?! All it teaches the kids is a sense of misplaced entitlement and some warped opinion that they’re the exception to the rule.

YABU to be annoyed.

In the case of police, nurses etc. there is a sound rationale behind the use of uniform (facilitate movement, enable public to identify, offer protection to name a few). There a also roles within those professions where the rationale for the uniform is not applicable and you can wear your own clothes. In professions where you are expected to wear a uniform it is in most cases provided by your employer.
Wearing a uniform for employment purposes is not a skill that needs to be mastered.

Furthermore, if wearing a uniform increased learning potential why are they then dropped after secondary school? Higher education often reverts to learners being able to wear what they choose. Why do the benefits of uniform wear off by college/university and beyond?

I'm not completely averse to the concept of school uniforms. I have found having uniforms so much easier and cheaper for my children when they were in nursery and primary school. It's only as they've entered senior school it has become extortionately expensive (in particular the PE kit), and this is partly down to the pedantic nature of the uniform policy.

I can see no benefit to a strict uniform policy and I would not be angered by anyone who chose to challenge it.

It’s hard to get worked up over someone else’s uniform flouting tbh.

My kids went to a very good selective sixth form with absolutely no dress code. Mostly years they have a big group coloured hair photo on the first day.

Yet despite this apparent anarchy they have excellent results and win loads of awards. Hmm, who’d have thought it.

Grandmi I find your thinking rather old fashioned. There are plenty of industries where you are judged on how smart you are not on how smart you are.

My daughter is 15. She’s very tall but tiny. The only trousers that fit her around the waist were age 11. I’ve let them down to the hem. You may class them as ‘slightly skinny’ but if I bought wider ones they would have to be drawn in like a bag of spuds. She would look ridiculous.
She works hard, she’s never back chats. She’s been a model pupil.
If she gets sent home or put in isolation for this then explain to me how this will help her or the school.
Oh and just add, she eats a lot and dances, no worries about her weight. I was the same at her age but definitely not now!