Mum spraying pesticides in my nursery!

[happyleaf]

I have come home at 33 weeks pregnant to discover that my mum (unasked) has covered the beams in our new nursery with woodworm treatment. I have avoided chemicals the whole pregnancy - think holding my breath when I put deodorant on and not letting DH use weed killer. She knows I've been avoiding chemicals and I cannot think what has possessed her to do this?!
The whole room utterly stinks of chemicals. The baby's little clothes are all out on the bed and now stink, the cot is up and the stuff has been put all round it and the mattress. The cupboard where the baby's clothes will hang has also had a liberal dousing on the beams. We have an old house but I don't even think we have woodworm!!
I'm so livid I'm tearful, and am panicking that because I'm now in the house I'm breathing it in and it will hurt the baby. I messaged her to tell her to please please not do that sort of thing and she has grudgingly said she will wash it off tomorrow but that the boiler fumes are worse and that I'm over reacting! She said 'do you want the beams to have woodworm and the house to fall down?'

She can be controlling and while very helpful doing some other things for us, tends to go ahead and do things like paint windows when we haven't wanted her to and then you feel like you can't say anything because it's ungrateful.
What do people think? AIBU? And will this stuff hurt my baby? The smell is giving me a headache!

Holding your breath while you put deodorant on 😂

Erm...

Are you in the UK? Of course it wont hurt, that's why we have legislations.

Try roll on deodorant

@Fatasfooook 😂 I know! This is how careful I have been!!!

I personally wouldn't stay there tonight.

Open all the windows to vent it.
I would also expect her to replace the fabric items that can't be washed.

That's just me though.

I think you’re being a bit over the top with the chemical side of things... cleaners have babies how do you think they manage? I’d be pissed off about the fact everything in the nursery had been moved and I’d possibly have to rewash everything but I wouldn’t worry about inhaling chemicals.

I think you're over reacting, unless it says "do not use while pregnant" on the tin.
Presumably you walk about outside and breathe car exhaust fumes, fill the car with petrol arc.

I'd be furious. I understand it was well meant, but it's just not her call. She should have kindly offered to do it for you, so that you would have been able to gently refuse with thanks.

You say we have legislation in the UK. Look at how great smoking was or how the herbicide industry reps used to demonstrate how benign Roundup was by drinking a little as recently as 20 years ago. It's now known to be carcinogenic.

You know the chemicals in the deodorant will absorb in to your blood stream and go to baby that way? As with anything you rub on your skin.
I do feel you’re a little over the top however sounds like there’s a bit of an issue with controlling mother so you’re trying to control the only aspects of your life that you can.
Open windows, wash the things you can and stay calm.

Woodworm is pretty obvious, tiny holes in the wood. Why on earth would she do this unless a specific issue has been seen? Batshit.

@Fatasfooook 😂 I know! This is how careful I have been!!!

I think Fatas was laughing at the idea that you would hold your breath whilst putting it on your skin you know chemicals can enter your bloodstream through your skin right?!

Ok. I dont know what brand she used, but I've just read the safety sheet for Cuprinol woodworm killer. There is nothing in there that would concern me.
Open the windows to the room. Shut the door.
Wash all the fabric items. But it will all be ok. Absolutely nothing in there that will harm baby.

She knows I've been avoiding chemicals and I cannot think what has possessed her to do this?!

Maybe she forgot? What did she say?

DH is a pest controller of 20 years and his advice is... Ask you mum what she used then look up the safety data sheet online. Woodworm treatment has to be reasonably powerful as it has to penetrate the wood, it’s not a surface treatment. And tell her you NEVER EVER use any pesticide unless necessary.

There are two issues here-
Even if you hold your breath when putting deodorant on it'll still absorb through your skin which is fine because it won't harm your baby. Chemicals are in everything. Have you been avoiding all food and drink too?

I don't know what's in woodworm treatment but I'd look at the packaging and see what it says about exposure etc. I'd give clothes etc a wash and open the windows.

It is not acceptable for your mum to do it without your permission though- I agree with that.

Wouldn't worry me but if you are then stay somewhere else and let her know that's what you've done.

@nanamouskouri apparently Sadolin wood treatment for interior and exterior use... thanks for asking your DH.

I've been a touch obsessive about trying to avoid unnatural things and I hold my breath while filling up the car too 🙈 I do see that pregnancy has made me a bit mad but the pesticide thing is something I've read about which is really bad!

I personally wouldn't spray anything like that over fabrics anyway. Who does that? Especially in a nursery. She could have covered or moved the stuff first.

You and your baby will be fine, and I do think you need to relax a little.
However, your mum was very out of order!
Taking it upon oneself to treat someone else's house for non-existent woodworm is a weird, boundary invading thing to do at the best of times.
But if you KNOW that a pregnant woman has anxiety over chemicals, it's a provocative, mean act.

Is it your house, or hers?
If yours how did she get in to do the treatment? I'd assume she has a key?
Get that back, and exert boundaries.
Don't make the chemicals the issue, instead be clear that it's about the lack of boundaries and the lack of consideration and respect for your decisions about your home.

I get that when you're pregnant you worry about the oddest things, and I actually sympathise with this one. I'd be gutted if all my lovely baby things stank of a chemical that I'd explicitly asked someone not to use. If your DM has a key to your house, now's the time to get that back I reckon.

Rainorsun

Danger! According to the classification provided by companies to ECHA in CLP notifications this substance is toxic if swallowed, is very toxic to aquatic life, is very toxic to aquatic life with long lasting effects, is harmful if inhaled, may cause damage to organs through prolonged or repeated exposure and may cause an allergic skin reaction

Nothing to worry you?

OP - have you spoken to your MW about the levels of anxiety you're feeling?