Mum spraying pesticides in my nursery!

[happyleaf]

I have come home at 33 weeks pregnant to discover that my mum (unasked) has covered the beams in our new nursery with woodworm treatment. I have avoided chemicals the whole pregnancy - think holding my breath when I put deodorant on and not letting DH use weed killer. She knows I've been avoiding chemicals and I cannot think what has possessed her to do this?!
The whole room utterly stinks of chemicals. The baby's little clothes are all out on the bed and now stink, the cot is up and the stuff has been put all round it and the mattress. The cupboard where the baby's clothes will hang has also had a liberal dousing on the beams. We have an old house but I don't even think we have woodworm!!
I'm so livid I'm tearful, and am panicking that because I'm now in the house I'm breathing it in and it will hurt the baby. I messaged her to tell her to please please not do that sort of thing and she has grudgingly said she will wash it off tomorrow but that the boiler fumes are worse and that I'm over reacting! She said 'do you want the beams to have woodworm and the house to fall down?'

She can be controlling and while very helpful doing some other things for us, tends to go ahead and do things like paint windows when we haven't wanted her to and then you feel like you can't say anything because it's ungrateful.
What do people think? AIBU? And will this stuff hurt my baby? The smell is giving me a headache!

Air the house. Any baby clothes left put, I would re wash. Invest in roll on deodorant. Might be a good idea to speak to your midwife about your anxiety. It is understandable that you want to be extra careful after what you have experienced but you come across as paranoid! Get your key back now, or your mum is likely to be overstepping boundaries when the baby is born too. Hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy.

@HennyPennyHorror
Birds Pure Beeswax Candles burn with almost no smoke or scent and clean the air by releasing negative ions into the air. These negative ions can bind with toxins and help remove them from the air.

Er...what now?

Beeswax candles clean the air. What don’t you understand?

@HeadintheiClouds

How do you work that out then?

That is pseudoscience

@happyleaf I'm glad you're feeling better. Your nursery sounds gorgeous with its beams, I'm sure your baby will be very happy in there (and definitely woodworm free! ).

opening the window will allow a lot more evil ions out of the room than any magic candle.

@happyleaf at least your not as badas my sister who is now paranoid that a stream that runs under the house will disturb the baby's sleep. The room is full of 'positive energy' crystals

as in getting DH to use bleach if needed and not using limes scale remover etc. I know I can't avoid every single chemical as much as I'd like to

Bleach is pretty toxic. Limescale remover is just an acid, like vinegar or orange juice.

Even water is a chemical. You can't avoid all chemicals, and you don't need to. Just avoid the things you should. Including woodworm killer, which is pretty nasty. Take your mother's key away from her. She can't be trusted, and you need to be able to enjoy your own home in peace.

When we had woodworm treatment done, in a house we'd not moved into yet, I was 36 weeks pregnant. I was told to stay away for 24 hours till the fumes dispersed. You were right to be cautious and your mum should not be let loose with chemicals she clearly hasn't researched. The, "oh, it'll be fine" attitude always carries an element of risk, and early parenting is a lot of deciding when to react and when to relax.

It's a pretty good mantra, react or relax. And a pretty good measure of how you are doing to tot up how many times you did each today. And sometimes a good, solid overreaction is worth it to release some anxiety and also make a point to those who are being blasé!

These negative ions can bind with toxins and help remove them from the air.

No, they won't and they can't. That's just........... utter bollocks. Really.

She was being BU and sabotaging your care for your vulnerable unborn. We did use to sling chemicals about with abandon, but we stopped when we realised the harm they could do.

Nobody should ever start that or any sort of DIY in a house that isn't their own without consultation.

I'd be livid. You need to draw some clear boundaries pdq, I'd say, starting with getting your key back!

Yes, we're all 'made from chemicals' but that doesn't mean we can inhale or ingest them wantonly without thought of the consequences. Why do even tins of paint carry notices about ensuring adequate ventilation?

Such a shame she did this. Don't let anyone tell you your response is unreasonable or OTT or try to minimise your very natural feelings in any way.

I would have your partner wash all the baby clothes TWICE to be on the safe side, and leave the nursery door shut and windows open whenever it isn't raining for at least a week. Go in there yourself as little as possible.

I'd be mad about that OP and I totally get you with the deodorant. I actually had to switch to roll on as I couldn't bear the spray when pregnant. You become more sensitive to smells when pregnant anyway. Nothing wrong with being cautious with things like that so I think your mum was daft to just start spraying stuff like that around in a pregnant woman's home let alone in the nursery.

Definitely get the key back, and try to relax and breathe for heavens sake.
:)

You will not hurt your baby with deoderant etc, but the high blood pressure caused by needless anxiety might.

You can put a coating of wax over the top once it’s dry to act as a barrier.