Mum spraying pesticides in my nursery!

[happyleaf]

I have come home at 33 weeks pregnant to discover that my mum (unasked) has covered the beams in our new nursery with woodworm treatment. I have avoided chemicals the whole pregnancy - think holding my breath when I put deodorant on and not letting DH use weed killer. She knows I've been avoiding chemicals and I cannot think what has possessed her to do this?!
The whole room utterly stinks of chemicals. The baby's little clothes are all out on the bed and now stink, the cot is up and the stuff has been put all round it and the mattress. The cupboard where the baby's clothes will hang has also had a liberal dousing on the beams. We have an old house but I don't even think we have woodworm!!
I'm so livid I'm tearful, and am panicking that because I'm now in the house I'm breathing it in and it will hurt the baby. I messaged her to tell her to please please not do that sort of thing and she has grudgingly said she will wash it off tomorrow but that the boiler fumes are worse and that I'm over reacting! She said 'do you want the beams to have woodworm and the house to fall down?'

She can be controlling and while very helpful doing some other things for us, tends to go ahead and do things like paint windows when we haven't wanted her to and then you feel like you can't say anything because it's ungrateful.
What do people think? AIBU? And will this stuff hurt my baby? The smell is giving me a headache!

Far2go46 nope, the stuff is on, presumably not dripping off the beams, partially dry.
She isnt going to drink any of it.
No prolonged or repeated exposure going to he happening.
I would have no concerns being a pregnant woman in an well ventilated environment once the stuff has been applied.

Do you actually have woodworm? Why would she randomly do this?

www.sadolin.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Sadolin-Wood-Preserver-CLP-SDS-060918.pdf

She is crazy, why do that?

@HeadintheiClouds there's no actual woodworm... these beams are 350 years old. She said there were 'bits' on the carpet and did I want the house to fall down...

Your baby won’t be sleeping in that room until they’re at least 6 months. I don’t see the issue to be fair.

Oh my...

@longtimelurkerhelen oh god that's the stuff. That sounds awful doesn't it. All the windows are open. All my lovely baby bits

It looks like this is a preventative rather than cure for woodworm. Please try not to breathe it in, it does seem to be very toxic.

Here is some info from the safety data sheet.

7.1 Precautions for safe handling
Put on appropriate personal protective equipment (see Section 8). Eating, drinking and smoking should be prohibited in areas where this material is handled, stored and processed. Workers should wash hands and face before eating, drinking and smoking. Remove contaminated clothing and protective equipment before entering eating areas. Do not ingest. Avoid contact with eyes, skin and clothing.Avoid breathing vapour or mist. Avoid release to the environment. Refer to special instructions/safety data sheet. Use only with adequate ventilation. Wear appropriate respirator when ventilation is inadequate. Do not enter storage areas and confined spaces unless adequately ventilated.

I'm going to have to make those boundaries really clear early on

You need to do this now - don't wait! And get your key back.

DH says that it may smell for days and days because it has to soak into the wood, a lot of treatments stink to high heaven. Ventilate the area as much as possible and wash anything that smells of it in biological. Did your mum buy it or was sitting in a shed for years? I only ask as we couldn’t find that exact product on the Sadolin website anymore so he can’t offer any specific advice.

Ah OP you need to have a firm word with your mum. As you can see from this thread the 'chemicals' issue is a bit distracting (though I'm taking it seriously-it's not at all silly to want to limit your exposure and your baby's). Conversation could go something like:

Mum, I need to talk to you. You used pesticide in the nursery without asking me. That wasn't appropriate and I'm upset about it. In future, I'd like you to ask before you do things like that to our house.

That's an awful thing to do, if we're not meant to use bio washing powder on baby clothes of course we shouldn't spray harsh pesticides all over them. Send her the links people have put here about how harmful it is. She's really out of line. Wishing you a more restful rest of your pregnancy.

All my lovely baby bits

Yes they will need washing a good few times

I would be livid.

I agree with trying to limit chemicals anytime, but especially in pregnancy. If you don't want to use spray or roll on deodorants you could try the crystal stuff, it's really good, I use the PitRok one, it is expensive but lasts for ages.

I would see this as warning sign and have that key back. If she knows you've been anxious about chemicals (quite rightly) then this is at best very inconsiderate, and at worst, really malicious. What does your DH think?

As an arable farmer (conventional) with a background of agrochemical research I'd be fucking furious if someone had done this in my house while I was pregnant.

Do you know exactly which product was applied and exactly what the active ingredient is? Open the windows and sleep somewhere else tonight.

Biochemist here. It's not a woodworm treatment, it's a general preservative. I had a look on a couple of toxicity databases.
Assuming I have the right formulation (check the packet) the important ingredients are:

1. Permethrin- Passed for direct use on humans as an insecticide. No evidence of harmful effects on pregnancy.

1. Propiconazole- A fungicide. Animals don't have the enzyme it binds to. It's a slight irritant if you drink it or pour it in your eyes. It might harm your liver if you drank a lot.

1. Iodopropynyl Butyl Carbamate (IBC)- It can cause breathing issues where there are lots of fumes, but testing has shown no evidence of harm to cause you concern, that includes in fetuses.

1. White spirit- again the main issue is breathing difficulties from the immediate fumes. That's what the smell is.

I would not let a child or an asthmatic sleep in the room for several days because of the IBC and white spirit. Wash the clothes and open the window. When the smell has gone, there is really no issue at all remaining.

The room will be fine long before the baby arrives.

I have avoided chemicals the whole pregnancy

What is your food made of then? :-)

If she knows you've been anxious about chemicals (quite rightly) then this is at best very inconsiderate, and at worst, really malicious

I was thinking this as well as it's very odd behavior to someone else's living space even without the pg.

I would also avoid the room for a while -and keep it well ventilated

Massive x post, sent that ^^ ages ago, a lot to catch up on, I'll be back!

Get the key back.

I would be cross if my mum came and did anything in my house without asking (of the sort, painting etc) let alone something which would be smelly, slightly toxic and muck up my nice baby things. She was very out of order.

Key back, or if you can’t face the confrontation, change the locks.

That’s fucking weird.

The deodorant thing is wrong but I would definitely be concerned about woodworm treatment, even if I wasn’t pregnant. I remember getting a house treated when I was young and having to stay somewhere else for a couple of nights. OP get your do to open the windows in that room, don’t go in yourself. Then shut the door and leave it to air for several days. Once aired, wash everything. By the time the baby is in the room in a few months time any remaining vapours should have evaporated.

I can so understand you OP. When I was pregnant I had a similar approach to life, no hair dye, eat only organic food, no aerosols, wear mask and gloves when cleaning etc. May I suggest you use a roll on deodorant.
No idea if the wood treatment would harm the baby but try and ventilate the area really well and ask DM to wash/rinse the items in the room. It sounds like she was trying to be helpful and make the room safe for baby but she probably doesn’t have the same view about cleaning agents and irritanting vapours.

Sounds like she makes a habit of this, I bet you can't wait until she starts undermining your parenting. letting herself in at bedtime etc....

There is no way what she did was acceptable, those chemicals aren't to be around anyway, you do it in vacant properties.

Not much point in holding your breath while filling up the car if you then drive in traffic.