MIL gives bigger plates of food to men

[Sofin]

We are often invited for dinner by MIL, about once a week. MIL has the idea that men need significantly more food than women, and DH's plate is always way bigger than mine. I've come to terms with this. But yesterday, she made pie and chips and DH literally had about three times as many chips as me and twice as much pie! I got about 7-8 chips and he had a tower of them. I felt like I was given a kids portion. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and had been working all day yesterday and was starving! DH had not been working, just been to the park for a little bit with DD. There are no extra helpings at MIL's either as she literally dishes out all the food to everyone. I was still hungry after, and honestly felt insulted and embarrassed :( AIBU?

Of course men need to eat less too. But the OT was about women wanting 'man sized' portions.

Only overweight ones. Eating isn't actually a weakness it is needed for health and life

But the OT was about women wanting 'man sized' portions.

No.she was given a child's size portion she wasn't asking for the same as her dh just a normal adult portion.

If we gave women 6 chips with their meal where I work there would be riots! It's ridiculous.

My granny always asks for a ‘ladies portion’ of food. Last I checked I’m a ‘lady’ too but I’ll fight anyone who short changes my portion of chips

You need to tell her straight away or stop going.

Have a chat with your husband and tell him that his mum's portions for you are leaving you hungry.
He won't have a clue unless you tell him.

His mum doesn't understand portion size and nutrition and allowing everyone to help themselves and have seconds.

I would also teach him about calories and energy and portion size

"DH said he's been raised that way and doesn't notice."

He's got eyes. He's CHOOSING not to notice.

I still don’t understand not asking for more

In my view men can have the extra carbs (chips, rice, pasta and so on) but the good stuff:- the fish the meat or whatever, should be shared equally unless those with smaller appetites say they want less.

I went to a dinner recently where the sea bass portions were tiny. The women were given one (size of a goldfish) and the men two. Grrr,

The OP’s husband needs to be inside to ensure his wife and child to be are fed!

Onside, not inside. Daft predictive text!

Really picky.
You clearly don’t have many worries in life if this is your focus.
Celebrate and feel happy about that.

I’dve redistributed from DHs plate. Wouldn’t think twice about it.

My DM does this. Curry (I made but was working) came back for supper and she heated it up and fished it out DH and DSS got huge portions and both her and me got a scraping of sauce (no meat) and about half as much rice.

She also did this at a meal I had with friends as part of my 40th when her and my DF joined us at a house we rented. We ended up without enough food to go round (the men’s plates groaning, nothing left for the women). I think it’s a generational thing and a bit sad.

My DH has a few food issues and has a really small appetite. It really got to him, too.

Oh and my DF (at the rented house for my 40th) went about clearing up everyone’s drinks.. This included about 12 almost full glasses of champagne, cocktails ect. We went to watch penalties for the World Cup on the TV, came back to the dining room....Table bare, washing up done and clearly the end of the evening. It was about 9:30pm...

So OP, just to clarify.... You are growing a human and you only fortified yourself with a few falafals, and that is ok, but when your MIL gave you a moderate portion, that is unacceptable? Why the double standards on your behalf??

Why is anyone guessing or dictating how much other people - their guests - can eat? If nothing else this proves that there are men who eat like sparrows and women who eat like horses, and that you couldn't predict which is which based on size or occupation. Just put the food in the middle and let people choose themselves. It's rude to leave guests hungry, and you would stop all the waste of food people don't like and/or don't want.

Not ok but men do need more calories than women.

I used to do this when DH was younger (as in, in his 20s - he ate like a fucking horse back then). Now he's in his 40s he no where near eats even a quatre as much, and get same sized as me really. but to be fair, I can understand it when they;re younger, but the older they get (my db for example eats nowhere near what he used to in his 20s)) I tend to just put out food in serving bowls and they can serve themselves.

My absolute bugbear is having food served up to me. I hate it. I can't even let hubby put anything on my plate for me. One of our friends has a habit of dishing out the dessert to everyone when we have dinner parties, feeling she's being helpful, whilst I bring in coffee and hubby has to stop her putting it on my plate. She tends to forget my weird foible. I know it's weird as the food has been touched when being prepared but it's one of my oddities. I would never serve people in my home, I always put all dishes on the table and everyone helps themselves.

I remember my gran doing something similar years ago. At family parties, my mum, aunties and us kids would be seated in a room off the dining area, The women would get sausages and chips and the youngsters would get just chips. Meanwhile the menfolk would be tucking into homemade steak pie with all the trimmings. My mum made a point of cutting up her dinner and sharing it with the children. She hated that 'feed the breadwinners' mentality.

My MIL does this, right now DH is working hard to reduce portions so it's not as bad but she used to make it so blatant. He would get two Yorkshire's, the big roast potatoes, we would get a piece of broccoli and one tiny Yorkshire.

My mum does this.

Drives me mad.

But she also takes weird pride in how little she eats.

Unsurprisingly I've grown up overweight and always worrying about not getting enough food.

My DH always offers me more off his plate. Bless him. He sees it for how ludicrous it is. But there's no changing her.

(I do love her lots. Just her own mother fucked my mum over with food attitudes as they have to me.)

You visit this dreadful hostess / mil once a week . Next visit make sure your DH gets involved and passes some more food to you .On the grounds you aren’t eating for two but trying to eat for just one ! Or be like Oliver and simply ask for more .She should get the hint .
I can remember a meal where a vegetable stew was served to all - but the men and boys were also offered sausages .The females were told categorically the sausages were just for the men ! Not that I’d have wanted any but it was hardly good form . This was a return invite from a family member after a meal which I’d cooked which was the norm of everyone being offered the same . Honestly you just have to laugh !

Not ok but men on average do need more calories than women on average.

Fixed it.

Each person should get what they want at that particular time and of that particular food.

Men do tend to eat more imo.
If you wanted more then just share DH’s.