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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL gives bigger plates of food to men

459 replies

Sofin · 02/09/2019 08:13

We are often invited for dinner by MIL, about once a week. MIL has the idea that men need significantly more food than women, and DH's plate is always way bigger than mine. I've come to terms with this. But yesterday, she made pie and chips and DH literally had about three times as many chips as me and twice as much pie! I got about 7-8 chips and he had a tower of them. I felt like I was given a kids portion. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and had been working all day yesterday and was starving! DH had not been working, just been to the park for a little bit with DD. There are no extra helpings at MIL's either as she literally dishes out all the food to everyone. I was still hungry after, and honestly felt insulted and embarrassed :( AIBU?

OP posts:
woodchuck99 · 03/09/2019 18:26

I also agree with @pamhill64 people in this country eat WAY too much. Around 8-10 chips is plenty when you have other food with it. I never have more than that, on the rare occasions I have chips (maybe once every 6 weeks.) I usually have veg or salad instead of chips*

How very virtuous. Not everyone is in this country eats too much and you certainly don't know whether OP eats too much. I currently have a BMI of 19 and I am sometimes underweight and I think 7-8 chips with a meal is a pathetic amount.

Fresta · 03/09/2019 18:28

This is why I always let guests help themselves from a serving bowl- then everyone can have what they want!

ChikiTIKI · 03/09/2019 18:39

This thread is making me hungry. For a big family meal I would have dished up the pie evenly and let people help themselves to chips etc.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 03/09/2019 18:40

Hell yes - unequal distribution of roast potatoes would be grounds for 'taking things outside' round our way!

I'll hold your coat Weezol

Skittlenommer · 03/09/2019 18:44

MIL has the idea that men need significantly more food than women

They do! People aren’t used to seeing normal portion sizes so when they do it shocks them!

Latteaday123 · 03/09/2019 18:46

Bang out of order!!!!

OkMaybeNot · 03/09/2019 18:47

Start taking your own food and embarrass the shit out of her.

ittakes2 · 03/09/2019 18:58

Speak up - ask for more. Pinch some from your hubby or ask him to transfer some from you. Find your voice.

LifeImplosionImminent · 03/09/2019 18:58

Huh? Men do need more calories - even a man the same height as a woman will burn more energy. I always serve men a little more food but there are always leftovers so people can take more if they want - if a woman was insulted by that she'd end up with a spatula up her arse! FFS people can get insulted at their own shadow these days.

WhoLetTheFrogsOut · 03/09/2019 19:03

Women in this country need to eat less not more!

MaxNormal · 03/09/2019 19:03

Men don't need "significantly" more food than woman. They need a few hundred extra calories, not three times as much!
It's definitely seen as morally lax by some for a woman to eat heartily.

MaxNormal · 03/09/2019 19:04

Women in this country need to eat less not more!

And men in this country?

HauntedPinecone · 03/09/2019 19:07

Women in this country need to eat less not more

Honestly, fuck right off you misogynistic halfwit.

Sparklesocks · 03/09/2019 19:12

WhoLetTheFrogsOut give over!

riceuten · 03/09/2019 19:15

This is typical of a certain age group - I'd've helped myself to the food on hubby's plate, if I am going to be honest

TanMateix · 03/09/2019 19:22

My ex MIL and SIL were the same, I was always starving because I used to get a women’s portion and I couldn’t even ask for more or add something to it without they making a fuss that I was eating far more than a woman would....

I’m over a foot taller than either of them, my son, at 10, was much taller than them. Why they would think I would have enough with a kids size portion, I really don’t know.

jillb55 · 03/09/2019 19:25

Really odd that so many people on here support giving someone a small portion because other people in the UK are obese! The latter may be true but has no relevance to this woman's complaint.

woodchuck99 · 03/09/2019 19:28

People aren’t used to seeing normal portion sizes so when they do it shocks them!

Don't be ridiculous.

WhoLetTheFrogsOut · 03/09/2019 19:32

Of course men need to eat less too. But the OT was about women wanting 'man sized' portions.

woodchuck99 · 03/09/2019 19:32

Really odd that so many people on here support giving someone a small portion because other people in the UK are obese! The latter may be true but has no relevance to this woman's complaint.

I agree. OP isn't overweight but because some other people are (probably including the posters themselves) than nobody can possibly know what a normal portion size is.

woodchuck99 · 03/09/2019 19:34

Of course men need to eat less too. But the OT was about women wanting 'man sized' portions.

Did OP say anything about "man size portions"? I thought she just didn't want a third of what her DH was eating.

Harls1969 · 03/09/2019 19:47

Make sure that you stop at a takeaway on the way home whenever you eat there!

Boysey45 · 03/09/2019 20:04

Either ask for some more or have plenty to eat before you go so you wont be hungry.

Teateaandmoretea · 03/09/2019 20:08

It's a load of old crap that men need more calories than women, it's dependent on size of the person and their activity level. Yes obviously a 6ft4 bloke needs more than a 5ft woman and women are on average smaller but me and DH are about the same size, are both active and have both eaten the same for the past 20 years without either getting fat. Garmin always tells me I use 2500 calories a day and that I use 1700 without getting out of bed not claiming it's accurate but it's more than a minuscule portion and 7 chips.

Yanbu op, my mil used to do the same but thankfully got the hint about 15 years ago. But there are lots of people on MN with really unhealthy attitudes to food maybe our MILs are on here

MerryBerryCheesecake · 03/09/2019 20:09

I'd be tempted to scrape your plate onto his with a "here, you may as well have the last bit" before pissing off to the local chip shop and coming back to hers to eat it in front of her.