To be so angry with dd

[MozzchopsThirty]

This isn't the first post regarding her behaviour!
Last year she created havoc on holiday
Then I asked her to move out in January because she was so badly behaved and it was affecting her brothers

Anyway yesterday I took her out as she has just landed her dream job
My OH was out with staff and clients
We went to meet them for a drink and i asked her to behave
Within 20 minutes she had thrown a drink over one of the guests and he threw one back
My OH jumped to her defence but another woman guest said that my daughter had been at fault, and I don't doubt this
So she left
We got thrown out of a nice hotel and I felt like a complete arse in front of OH and his clients

I haven't spoken to her today as I'm so disappointed and angry
She text me and said she will not allow people to be rude to her and it's not what she should put up with because she's a woman, she's very big on feminism, being goady, pushing other people
Rather than just walking away or ignoring

I can't talk to her AIBU

How old is she?

Why on god's earth did you take her?

Blimey
She sounds awful.

23

I know I should have known better but we'd had a lovely day, nice meal and just popping in to say hello

I hope your oh has nt lost his clients. If she’s still living at home, I’d threw her out.

She sounds awful. I'm surprised she's landed any job never mind her dream job with an attitude like that.

I hope not either
She hasn't lived here since January, pretty much for these reasons

Very immature young woman who has a lot to learn about manners, life and feminism (I’m glad he threw a drink back at her - equality in action there).

So she took offence at a comment that may or may not have been sexist - she chose to act violently and make a scene, knowing who these people are.

Dear god, young people watch too much reality tv to know what real life is. I’d just text her ‘what exactly did you achieve? Was it what you hoped?’

What on earth caused her to do that? Was the person rude to her?

What did he do though? It’s not the best response but if he groped her or made a sleepy comment then fair enough I suppose.

What did you think you were doing even popping in to say hello, with her or not? Is it normal to interrupt your spouse at work, particularly when they’re with clients?

Sorry but she's totally pulling your strings, and you're letting her. You need to change the dance. I highly recommend a book called "The Dance of Anger" which talks about how to deal with toxic family relationships and how to make changes.
She obviously has a lot of issues but that is no reason to behave the way she does, and the fact that your OH jumped to her defence suggests she has him under her thumb as well.
Time for some changes. It's not too late.

You shouldn't have brought her to meet your Dh's clients when her behaviour is so volatile.

Why does she say she threw a drink at him?

Well, she's not going to keep her "dream job" if she can't control herself, is she?

I need to know what reason she has for throwing the drink but it's all very dramatic. Your poor dh!

I'm not surprised you are so angry.

I'm surprised you took her given her track record.

What did the man say to her? I certainly wouldn't have walked away if it was sexist. I would have said something politely. Ok, I probably wouldn't have at 23, but I wouldn't have done what she did either.

It's a very extreme way to behave. Has she seen a therapist? Probably time for that if not.

I'd probably suggest it and wouldn't put myself in the position where she could embarrass me again.

On what basis did OH defend her?
What had the guy done that made her want to throw a drink over him?

Unless he said ‘hey can you please throw that drink over me’ there really isn’t any excuse.

What did he say to her? Throwing a drink was indeed very childish and completely unacceptable. But she is right to challenge misogyny and sexism, although most people can do that without resorting to being a twat.

This is really extreme but 23 is prime dick time. Could she being drinking too much/ taking too many drugs?

There's a lot of missing context here.

Why risk it with her volatile behaviour?
Why are the wife & daughter of someone at work meeting clients, unless it's something where that would be accepted? Maybe a b&b or something like family owned car garage? Struggling to understand the dynamics here tbh

Has she always been this way or is this a fairly recent change in her behaviour? I suppose I'm just wondering if there could be anything going on in her life that could be making her so emotionally volatile.

It was very odd of you to bring your dd to meet your dh’s clients at all really, let alone one who can’t join you on holiday without ruining it for everyone and has to be asked to leave the family home because her behaviour is affecting her siblings
Did she have any intervention when she was younger?
23, and acting like that...

Why did she throw a drink over the man?

"She text me and said she will not allow people to be rude to her and it's not what she should put up with because she's a woman, she's very big on feminism, being goady, pushing other people
Rather than just walking away or ignoring "

This suggests to me that he may have tried to grope her or something similar? Her action was quite extreme so I'd guess she was reacting to something fairly unpleasant. What does she say actually happened?