Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so angry with dd

189 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 01/09/2019 17:59

This isn't the first post regarding her behaviour!
Last year she created havoc on holiday
Then I asked her to move out in January because she was so badly behaved and it was affecting her brothers

Anyway yesterday I took her out as she has just landed her dream job
My OH was out with staff and clients
We went to meet them for a drink and i asked her to behave
Within 20 minutes she had thrown a drink over one of the guests and he threw one back
My OH jumped to her defence but another woman guest said that my daughter had been at fault, and I don't doubt this
So she left
We got thrown out of a nice hotel and I felt like a complete arse in front of OH and his clients

I haven't spoken to her today as I'm so disappointed and angry
She text me and said she will not allow people to be rude to her and it's not what she should put up with because she's a woman, she's very big on feminism, being goady, pushing other people
Rather than just walking away or ignoring

I can't talk to her AIBU

OP posts:
bringbacksideburns · 01/09/2019 18:40

I've no doubt she's a pain in the arse but what on earth made her throw the drink? You still haven't gone into detail.
All you said is you didn't hear anything but your OH jumped to her defence. You then automatically took the other person's side who said it was all her fault.
It's all about context here and we are only getting one side?

HeadintheiClouds · 01/09/2019 18:40

Does your oh work for himself, op? I actually can’t wrap my head around the fact that you all (including the clients your oh was wining and dining) got thrown out of a hotel because your adult daughter created such a scene. Is his job in jeopardy?
That is seriously concerning for you all, and you’re asking if you might be unreasonable to be angry. It beggars belief.

NoBaggyPants · 01/09/2019 18:40

I'd like to hear her side of this, and her view of you as a mother. Young women who display such extreme behaviour often have trauma or abuse in their past. I wouldn't judge her without knowing more of the immediate incident, and her past.

pigeononthegate · 01/09/2019 18:40

Has she ever been assessed for mental health or developmental difficulties? That behaviour sounds very redolent of certain personality disorders.

ChippingInLowCarbing · 01/09/2019 18:41

Mozzchops

I’m sorry she’s being such a brat. You need to give her some tough love and to remember that she’s volatile- you simply cannot trust her to ‘behave’, unfortunately

She’s beyond listening to you, I think she’s going to need some hard knocks by friends, employers, boyfriends, before she grows the fuck op

I hope your OH’s clients don’t take her behaviour out on him.

NoBaggyPants · 01/09/2019 18:42

You dont sound like you like her very much

This. The OP has jumped to blame her daughter without even asking what happened.

ddl1 · 01/09/2019 18:43

Was she drunk? Was the other guest drunk and perhaps verbally abusive? Does she have a problem with alcohol?I don't think you should take your daughter to meet your dh's clients, to be honest, even if her behaviour was better. They're not her clients, and it's usually better to keep work and home relationships separate.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 01/09/2019 18:44

Yes it's his business
And partners often turn up after the 'event' and stay out for drinks

I don't know what was said, and frankly I don't care, someone was rude to me last night, I just left the bar, no scene, they don't matter to me

She did take medication at Uni but doesn't now for ocd and anxiety

OP posts:
FuckFacePlatapus · 01/09/2019 18:45

She could find herself getting arrested for this, she needs to wind her neck in, keep her mouth shut or she will end up locked up resulting in her losing her "Dream" job.

No one likes rude people, but throwing a drink over someone is unacceptable. Next time she will start on the wrong person and come off worse. Silly little girl.

QueenOfPain · 01/09/2019 18:45

What did the other person do or say to her to illicit the thrown drink?

SuperSara · 01/09/2019 18:46

First mistake you've made is taking her out to celebrate landing her 'dream job' because clearly its longevity will be measured on a clock rather than a calendar.

Your poor OH.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 01/09/2019 18:46

@NoBaggyPants

I don't like her no
I love her she's my daughter
But she's really good at ruining things for me, holidays, relationships,

OP posts:
Samosaurus · 01/09/2019 18:50

Sounds like she did it on purpose to cause as much of a scene as possible. Or does she have a condition that causes poor impulse control? I agree with the pp though - why on earth would you have popped into those drinks with her anyway?

lemonyellowtangerine · 01/09/2019 18:50

Where does her dad feature in all this?

CustardySergeant · 01/09/2019 18:51

I'm very puzzled that you haven't asked what he said and she hasn't volunteered the information.

QueenOfPain · 01/09/2019 18:53

It’s rather telling isn’t it, that you honestly couldn’t give a shit about what this other person said or did to illicit such a reaction from her? Perhaps, despite her upbringing, your daughter is done with being complicit in her own dehumanisation, and having to respond charitably to misogynistic pricks.

Krisskrosskiss · 01/09/2019 18:54

Why dont you car what was said to her? It does actually make a difference as to whether or not this was an understandable response. It sounds like you just dont want her to react to anything..... which if that's a thing you've been doing throughout her childhood may be the reason why she constantly overreacted to get a response from you. You cant expect to get on with someone if you constantly negate their emotions. If you blame things that went wrong for you as AN ADULT AND AS HER CARER on her emotions as a child. You are going to end up with a young woman who behaves in a volatile manner so her needs are met.

faceorembrace · 01/09/2019 18:56

Is her name Kate Archer?

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 01/09/2019 18:56

Excellent glad it's all my fault

👍🏻👍🏻 good ole MN

OP posts:
HeadintheiClouds · 01/09/2019 18:57

Eh, Queen? Where did that come from?! Op’s dd has form for behaving like a spoiled brat. Wtf is complicit in her own dehumanisation? Being asked to behave like a normal adult? 🙄

Krisskrosskiss · 01/09/2019 18:58

It's not ALL your fault I didnt say that... but what do you expect to hear? You want people to tell you to have nothing further to do with her or do you want actual advice to help repair the relationship? Because any actual advice will have to include you maybe thinking about what your part in this is? If you dont want to do that then fine... but often it's a two way street. Somethings gone wrong here... do you honestly think shes just nuts and beyond help?

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 01/09/2019 18:58

Where do you all live these perfect lives??
And raise your perfect children??

I don't know what was said because she hasn't spoken to me
Nor did I sit down and discuss it with the drink thrower as we were thrown out of the hotel

Next time I will try and do everything just right because that's so easy in RL

OP posts:
Skittlenommer · 01/09/2019 18:59

One day she’ll throw a drink over the wrong person and she’ll have her ass handed to her. I’d go no contact. She sounds like an asshole.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 01/09/2019 19:00

Where did I say she was nuts and beyond help???
This thread is like a parallel universe

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 01/09/2019 19:00

She's shown you who she is.. believe her Hmm and don't invite her anywhere again, she's a Dick. Flowers

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.