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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been told I dress too smartly at work...

734 replies

Appletina · 28/08/2019 13:05

and I've been told I need to dress more casually.

I tend to wear smart day dresses, or skirts with a top or blouse, from places like Hobbs, Reiss, Jaeger. I don't wear jackets or blazers or full on suits. I wear low heels.

I work with the public and apparently my dress sense could be perceived as intimidating and so I am to dress more casually... I think that's a ridiculous and patronising thing to say about the great British public!

AIBU to continue to keep dressing as I am?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Sparklesocks · 28/08/2019 13:06

Haven’t heard that one before! What sort of industry is it?

Original poster
Appletina · 28/08/2019 13:07

So annoying, I selected the 'yes to enabling voting' option but it's not there...

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 28/08/2019 13:08

It depends on your line of work.

elizzza · 28/08/2019 13:08

Need more context. What industry, what’s your role, who told you to dress more casually?

NorthEndGal · 28/08/2019 13:09

Is being relatable and approachable a big part of your job?

CmdrCressidaDuck · 28/08/2019 13:09

Well you can do as you like, as long as you're prepared to take the consequences. If someone senior to you has directly told you that you dress too smartly, they are likely to lower their opinion of you if you decline to take the feedback. If how you dress is out of step with other members of staff, it is also likely to be read as an unwillingness to "fit in".

Asta19 · 28/08/2019 13:09

It depends, I used to work with vulnerable people and we were specifically told not to be "too smart" as it would be off putting to our service users. So it very much depends what your job is.

Original poster
Appletina · 28/08/2019 13:10

Aha the voting button is there after all!

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 28/08/2019 13:11

Entirely depends on your line of work, law firm, totally fine, tell them they're being ridiculous.

Working with vulnerable groups like the homeless for example, less appropriate.

Bumbags · 28/08/2019 13:11

Maybe it’s like when celebrities visit Africa wearing designer clothes?

Could you tone it down a bit?

Ginnymweasley · 28/08/2019 13:11

Surely it depends on your job... however if this has come from your boss I imagine their is a reason for it.

Asta19 · 28/08/2019 13:12

I can't vote without knowing what section of the public you work with.

CustardOmlet · 28/08/2019 13:12

Depends on where you are working, you may come across as authoritative and intimidating.

Original poster
Appletina · 28/08/2019 13:14

I don't work with vulnerable people. I work with people across all sections of society. You could be well-to-do and middle class or unemployed or on benefits.

OP posts:
Original poster
Appletina · 28/08/2019 13:14

I don't work with the homeless or the unwell.

OP posts:
ukgift2016 · 28/08/2019 13:15

What is your line of work?

I am asking as I am a social worker and though I dress smartly, there is a line to be drawn to not intimidate clients.

Sparklesocks · 28/08/2019 13:15

Is it social work? Care in the community? Or something sales based?

Sirzy · 28/08/2019 13:15

If your working with people in an environment where they need to feel relaxed and comfy talking to you then I get why they don’t want you formally dressed

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 28/08/2019 13:16

I have no idea if this is rediculous or not until you said what your job is.

Unshriven · 28/08/2019 13:16

Well yes, but a HV, or social worker, or teacher is different to a mortgage advisor,or sales person, or estate agent.

Are you meant to be approachable?

inwood · 28/08/2019 13:17

Depends entirely on your job and who you work with.

Asta19 · 28/08/2019 13:17

Ok, if it was someone senior to you who said it, I would probably take it on board. If it's just a colleague expressing an opinion I'd carry on as I am.

BringOnTheScience · 28/08/2019 13:18

What do your colleagues wear?

dollydaydream114 · 28/08/2019 13:21

YABU - dress codes go both ways, and it's just as possible to over-dress for a job as it is to under-dress for one.

For example, when I used to work for a PR agency that specialised in arts and entertainment, I'd have looked out of place at a lot of client meetings if I'd been wearing the sort of things you describe - we were supposed to look semi-casual and creative rather than suited and booted.

It's not necessarily about walks of life that clients come from, it's about the impression your employer is trying to give. If they want to give a more relaxed, friendly impression it's appropriate for staff to dress in a relaxed, friendly way. The formal style you're describing would be a great for some companies or roles, but it wouldn't be right for every job or every client base.

CreatedBySombra · 28/08/2019 13:22

If your designer clothes (because the retailers you mention certainly aren't in the reach of the majority for workwear) are combined with immaculate hair/make-up/nails then the overall look would be "too polished" in a public facing role if you're meant to be approachable.

It's not about dumbing down the Great British public but about the statement your clothes make...and yours are making a statement that makes you appear unapproachable.

Our clothes and body language are the first statement we make to people, take the feedback on the chin and find a way to tweak your wardrobe/look down a peg or two.