I've been told I dress too smartly at work...

[Appletina]

and I've been told I need to dress more casually.

I tend to wear smart day dresses, or skirts with a top or blouse, from places like Hobbs, Reiss, Jaeger. I don't wear jackets or blazers or full on suits. I wear low heels.

I work with the public and apparently my dress sense could be perceived as intimidating and so I am to dress more casually... I think that's a ridiculous and patronising thing to say about the great British public!

AIBU to continue to keep dressing as I am?

Hobbs, Reiss and Jaegar are definitely out of my price range for work clothes!
The sector I work in is distinctly casual, not sure I've seen the top bods wear suits or even ties. My team leader wears jeans and casual style trousers and he's a director and does a lot of external meetings.
So someone dressing too smartly would look a bit out of place, but due to the nature of our work probably wouldn't be mentioned.

As you have been told to dress down a bit I think you should at least try.

There are a lot of hidden codes with dress. Sometimes there is a skill finding smart but not corporate smart. You could probably keep your existing clothes but soften things by ditching the heals for flats, adding a cardi or pashmina and going for softer colours if you wear black.

If your line manager has specifically told you that there is a problem with the way you are dressing then of course you should take that on board.

Are your clothes impractical for the circumstances, for example if your job involves playing with children, running around or getting dirty?

Could it be that you've been observed not to be interacting as much as you are expected to and it's been perceived that your clothes are stopping you from doing so?

Because you are refusing to say what your work is, I am assuming you are employed as a circus clown. YABU as you should be wearing a clown suit. Hope this helps.

Because you are refusing to say what your work is, I am assuming you are employed as a circus clown. YABU as you should be wearing a clown suit. Hope this helps.

I have nothing to add whatsoever but I just lolled at this @malmi

I'm thinking the same Myriade.

I also wonder if anyone is jealous of your clothes budget.

I agree it is possible to over dress for a public facing role, but to me that would be a power suit & heels, not a dress & flat shoes.

What does your boss wear? Do they dress down at work, or wear similar clothes to you.

Dress and cardigan is smart casual to business casual depending on the style.

Myriade
In my experience, I see more women turn up in questionable workplace attire than men. Part of that is because we have a lot more flexibility than men do for work wear, but part is people not dressing for their jobs.

To be fair though, I think there has been a shift towards work wear becoming a little too casual and scruffy for a while. I work in education and have seen people interpret business casual (not suits, but nice mix and match dresses / skirts /slacks / blouses etc) to mean casual printed skirts and flip flops with a t shirt, or usually younger colleagues wearing dresses and heels that wouldn't look out of place in a bar on a night out. Both are nice enough outfits, neither are workwear.

My dh works in a consulting role. His company say he has to wear a suit and tie.
First day on his current project, the client said he was too smart, it didn't fit the ' vibe' of the team and he needed to lose the tie.

He did as he was told. He still wears his suit but takes the jacket off and has open neck collar and rolled up sleeves.
You need to do as you're told and change your outfit a bit.

If the general dress code is casual, then you need to be casual.

Do you know if a complaint has been made?

Do you deal with a cross section of ages? As a younger person may be intimidated by your dress style.

I suspect your not providing services to the middle and upper classes, so perhaps you need to bring it down a bit.

People relate better to people similar to them. If you come across very different to the majority of your customers, then your manager may have a point.

It's better than being told you're scruffy.

Who is it that's actually told you this, @Appletina? Your line manager, or just a random colleague? Because that makes quite a difference. Your other team members can just mind their own beeswax, but if your line manager has addressed this with you then you'd need to take it on board I think.

Wear what you do with a pair of converse to dress it down a bit

It’s not clear who has told you this but I think if a senior person at your work requested that you dress more smartly, people would probably say that you should. So if they think you should dress less smartly I don’t think it’s that different.

Hobbs is hardly designer, I buy loads of dresses in the sale or from an outlet store!

I posted on here once about temping in the NHS and being “told off” for having bare legs at work. I stayed that I wore and White Stuff skirt and plain, smart t-shirt and I was told by a few posters that they would never wear WS to work as it is far too casual.

🤷🏻‍♀️

You could probably keep your existing clothes but soften things by ditching the heals for flats, adding a cardi

It's in ops first post that she wears flat shoes and cardis!

Since when has a woman wearing a dress and cardi or skirt and blouse been too smart for working when she has to meet adults in a work capacity?

Fgs women.cant ever get it right apparently.

I worked for a national charity oop north we dressed smartly. When head office come up from London they look like students and bag ladies. We thought engaging with the public in fundraising we should make the effort, make up nails, hair, clothes. They obviously didn`t, is it a regional thing I wonder?

If it's something like journalism or childcare you may BU. I would listen carefully to what you're being told and really think before discounting it.

Seems strange.
Who told you this?

@Appletina - unless you are prepared to say what you do for a living, what your job title is at least - then this is a pointless thread. There are some jobs where yes, you would be dressed too smartly and it could be a problem. There are some jobs where the clothes you discribe would be entirely appropriate. There are some jobs where the clothes you wear wouldnt be smart enough.

Without knowing what you do and if the person who commented on your wardrobe was senior to you, there's no way anyone can comment.

So unless you say where you work, I have no idea if yabu.
You could work in a nursery in which case yabu, or as a secretary in which case yanbu.
Is the reason you are avoiding the question because you know your boss has a point?

I suspect your not providing services to the middle and upper classes, so perhaps you need to bring it down a bit.

So op doesn't know her clients backgrounds but you do?

Op- I work with people across all sections of society. You could be well-to-do and middle class or unemployed or on benefits

Pp's experience with a social worker is interesting. Shows how we're all different - I had support from a social worker over a long period of time, about equally serious but different issues, and I found it so much easier to trust her and feel comfortable with her precisely because she wasn't overdressed or setting herself apart from me by wearing "business attire".

I think it would have really hampered our ability to build the working relationship we needed if she had turned up in suits (with or without the jacket!).

I don't gauge competence based on clothing or appearance and I don't think dressing in clothes traditionally considered "smart" in our culture demonstrates any greater care than different attire. Taking conscious steps to be approachable on the other hand I think does show care.

I say unless it's a disciplinary matter or there's some other reason we don't know about sod it, please yourself. I dress smartly when I'm in the office, surrounded by very casual 20 somethings but I think even though we're doing the same work it just reflects my personality and I'm more comfortable than I would be in jeans and sloppy tops. Do your employers want you to feel comfortable? Perhaps they don't realise that not everyone equates comfort with casual clothes!

I stayed that I wore and White Stuff skirt and plain, smart t-shirt and I was told by a few posters that they would never wear WS to work as it is far too casual.

Haha, they'd have a fit in my office then (signed, someone wearing ripped denim shorts and an enormous jumper to work)