I've been told I dress too smartly at work...

[Appletina]

and I've been told I need to dress more casually.

I tend to wear smart day dresses, or skirts with a top or blouse, from places like Hobbs, Reiss, Jaeger. I don't wear jackets or blazers or full on suits. I wear low heels.

I work with the public and apparently my dress sense could be perceived as intimidating and so I am to dress more casually... I think that's a ridiculous and patronising thing to say about the great British public!

AIBU to continue to keep dressing as I am?

I was told this once in a new job by a manager.
She was mean for many reasons.....
I was really impacted by it....
Now that I can see what she really is and her motivations to try and “keep me down”, I feel sorry for her.
I am glad that I don’t work for that cow anymore!

HeadintheiClouds

I have no idea what you’re ballsing on about, Gender. Bugger off now, will you?

Teehee

I had a friend who worked in a very deprived area of London and all the teachers were expected to be quite casually dressed so that they looked like the kids parents and neighbours and made the kids more likely to trust and listen to them.

Why does this persist? I work in a "deprived" school which is really turning around, and the first thing a new head did was ask all the teachers to dress very smartly. Everyone - from the receptionist to the matron to the senior leadership team and everyone in between is in a "Hobbs dress and cardigan" or similar-looking outfit. Guess what? The kids have not rioted because they can't "relate". In fact the kids often have more expensive stuff on than the teachers! (Eg super-expensive trainers)

Strange that...... I was a poor kid, wasnt intimidated by well dressed people at all ...they inspired me to do better and l did.

IrmaFayLear
I think with schools it depends on context.

E.g. If you're working in a referral unit or alternative provision school then you're not going to dress the same as a mainstream secondary. Many teachers are still class based, but it's a different set of barriers and challenges compared to mainstream.

Equally, I worked somewhere probably similar to the school you've mentioned where some staff were far too casual and that, combined with lax leadership, lack of clear appropriate authority and so on created a culture of really bad behaviour where people couldn't learn. You'd have certain members of staff in their jeans and flip flops spending their PPA sat on a wall with someone who's just called a teacher a "fucking cunt" giving the child an opportunity to slag off the teacher (because in their eyes they were cool and relatable ). In some cases the professional relationship balance was really out of balance. When we got taken over the staff dress code was tightened up (along with clear boundaries and a very clear message that good pastoral care does not equal being their mate) . It did ruffle feathers with those who felt their way was right.
I think that's the thing, people can get quite tetchy when spoken to about workplace attire because it's easy for people (in both directions) to think their way is right for their reasons and not give much consideration for the fact that there may be validity in a different way of doing things.

I think you should dress exactly how you want to and wear whatever you feel comfortable in. I don't think the field of work you're in makes a jot of difference. Your boss is being totally unreasonable. I wouldn't let anyone tell me how to dress, in or out of my job. Be yourself, always, op.

@pumkinspicetime I completely agree with you. When I worked on a child sexual exploitation team dealing with teenage victims, none of them would have spoken to me if I’d been suited and booted. It was strictly jeans and very casual. You’ve got to be able to engage with people. I think the fact that the poster is being very unclear on what she actually does, suggests that she is in fact over dressed. I miss being very casually dressed for work!

I would be well pissed off, is someone jealous of you? Turn the tables on them,by all means dress down a bit but go for classy good quality items and make sure your hair and makeup are perfect, you will feel just as good then,I believe dressing nicely makes us feel better about ourselves and that reflects on all areas of our lives.