I've been told I dress too smartly at work...

[Appletina]

and I've been told I need to dress more casually.

I tend to wear smart day dresses, or skirts with a top or blouse, from places like Hobbs, Reiss, Jaeger. I don't wear jackets or blazers or full on suits. I wear low heels.

I work with the public and apparently my dress sense could be perceived as intimidating and so I am to dress more casually... I think that's a ridiculous and patronising thing to say about the great British public!

AIBU to continue to keep dressing as I am?

I think unless you tell us what exactly your job is we can't really tell you whether you are being unreasonable or not ?

It's not business/corporate. I do need to be approachable but I think dressing well shows that I am taking people seriously and that those who use my services can trust me to know what I'm talking about.

I think some of my team members dress in a way that is scruffy and sometimes inappropriate, to be honest - for example when you can see the tops of someone's tights because their skirts/dresses are too short?

I am not wearing skirt or trouser suits. I might have on a nice dress with a cardigan.

I am short and overweight and have crap hair and nails @CreatedBySombra - I would definitely not put myself in the polished or groomed category!

What do your colleagues wear? Could it be that by overdressing you appear more senior than you are?

Honestly. If you're unwilling to say what your job is then I doubt anyone can answer properly

Sounds bonkers - is this just
Coming from a single person (perhaps jealous of your style or something) or have HR or somebody official said something on behalf of the company

If your working with people in an environment where they need to feel relaxed and comfy talking to you then I get why they don’t want you formally dressed

It doesn't sound 'formal' what the OP wears, just averagely smart.

OP, it might help to know (vaguely) your area of work. Not being nosy, just to try to understand where the idea comes from.

And I'd like to know if it was your boss/someone senior, or just a colleague, and how it was expressed and in what context/for what reason.

If your employers think you dress inappropriately, you have to accept that.

To be honest, when you talk about "a nice dress with a cardigan", I can see where they're coming from.

What do you do as a job?

I think some people do "dress up" a little too much for work and yes, it can come across as intimidating.

If you have been told by your superiors that you need to dress more casually, then yes YABU - you need to dress more casually. If however it's office chatter, and just the opinion of your peers, I think it's OK to ignore.

Working dress code is important and "a thing" in various non-uniformed jobs, be it social worker, teacher or Abercrombie and Fitch sales assistant

your designer clothes (because the retailers you mention certainly aren't in the reach of the majority for workwear)

Behave. They're high street. Higher-end high street, sure, but not designer.

What “services” are you providing?

It is generally sensible to heed advice from senior staff about appropriate clothing.

Completely depends on the actual job role.

I don't find people in suits / super smart outfits particularly engaging usually. But there's a time and a place. You should stick to you employer's uniform policy so if that's smart casual.. be smart casual. It's clearly an issue if they've broached it with you.

If your manager has told you that you're not matching the dress code then you should follow their advice. It's irrelevant what we think about cardigans or Hobbs' dresses. What matters is that someone has told you that your attire seems intimidating. Take the advice.

I think it's a shame actually and it may do your team leader better to speak to the people you engage with.

For example, my mum went into a care home last year. I had to have a couple of meetings with the social worker. Who turned up really casually dressed. To the point that I double checked everything she sent to me as her appearance made me feel she didn't have much respect for me or my mum. I'd have rather had someone in a suit or more 'business' dressed as this was my mum's future well being we were speaking about and I needed to trust that the social worker had her back and was 'steady'.

I would imagine the social worker team had been told to dress more like their clients to show empathy. All it showed me was a lack of care in their appearance and, therefore, made me wonder if that overspilled into their actual work.

Just shows you can't please all the folk, all the time.

"Smart casual" also used to include a dress and cardigan, so where does it end?

Do you have a workwear policy? Are you dressing to it? If so, don’t change.
Has the person asking you to change your dress for seniority? If so, you can choose whether you refer to the policy or try something new.
What sort of thing do your colleagues wear?

YABU for not saying what you do.

I also think if your bosses say you're dressing wrong, you're dressing wrong.

What you're wearing doesn't sound too OTT. What do the others wear? Is it just the make and quality of clothes that's causing issue or does nobody else wear a dress/ skirt & top?

If image is important to them have they issued a dress code or guidelines?

I thnk some of your colleagues/bosses are the ones who are feeling unconfortable becaue you are reminded them that they ought to make an effort.
easier to dump things down that make an effort!

I had this once. I moved from a more formal child protection rule into a more child based role. No one said anything but I realised I was wearing much more formal clothes than my work peers.
Are you wearing similar clothing to your work colleagues, if you are all good. If you are always wearing notably different clothing maybe you should think about changing.

Appletina

You have standards, and high ones, and nowt wrong with that at all!.

Perhaps sugest to the mis-management there that one day a week you have a dress down day, a couple of bin bags are all the rage sometimes like wet weekends at Glasto fest;)

Tell them that:)

does nobody else wear a dress/ skirt & top?

Or maybe it's time to stop policing what WOMEN wear!
So we'e had the 'you have to wear a skirt and high heels' and now you would have 'you're not allowed to wear a dress or a skirt'
Come on. When is the last tme you've heard a man beingtold that he dresses too smartly for wearing just normal work clothes??

It’s impossible for us to say. 🤷‍♀️

Was this a throw away comment from a coworker or a serious chat from management?

Tell them no. If they can't step up and take a bit of pride in their appearance it's not your fault. I would imagine it's more your colleagues moaning than anyone else