Husband complaining I never wear clothes he likes

[Needdistracting]

Hi all, this is my first post, although been lurking for a few years now.

Feeling quite upset this morning and trying to work out if iabu or not. I always carefully pick out what I want to wear in the morning, to try and hide my tummy, and compliment my curves (am a 14/16 and not happy with my current size), I wear a variety of clothes that I picked out with my husband this summer and he said he really liked at the time. I also have a few items that he bought me as presents this year that I wear too. Problem is no matter what I wear he keeps suggesting i wear something else, for example, haven't been wearing heels this summer (we are a very active family so I find it easier to wear the boots or trainers he bought me instead) so he is complaining I never wear heels. This morning he suggested I wear a dress I haven't wore for about 2 weeks, but this is a short dress and it's raining so I said no, now he is saying I never wear the things he likes and he is a bit annoyed about it?

Aibu in wearing what I want to wear in the morning as long as I am making an effort to look nice, or is he bu to get frustrated that I dont wear these specific things when he wants me to?? I really dont know what to think any more!! I know this seems petty but these digs from him come up quite often, say if I started wearing the heels and dress more now he would move back on to wanting me to wear my hippy trousers and boots iyswim, so I would like to work out what to do about it once and for all!

Ltb...he sounds like he's practicing coercive control.

He's weird. I think it's fine to occasionally nudge your partner to wear clothes that they like and that you find attractive but we can't and shouldn't dictate what each other wear day to day. DH loves it when I wear very high heels but on family walks he'd not think twice about me putting on comfortable footwear.

Tell him if he wants you to glam up in a dress and heels then you both need to plan a few glamorous nights out, and you want to tell him what to wear on these dates too.

YANBU OP he sounds incredibly controlling. I think partners should have a small say in what each other wear as in not suddenly changing to a really out there style of dressing that might embarrass the other when you have always dressed conventionally since you met. Outside of that you should just leave each other alone to choose clothes.

If you tell him what to wear in order to please you every day, then I guess ywbu.

But you don't, do you?

I suspect this is the tip of the iceberg in relation to his controlling behaviour. None of what you have written is normal or healthy. You are an adult, you get get to chose your own clothes. The fact that you are questioning whether yabu is worrying in itself.

If he likes heels, he should wear bloody heels. He doesn’t get a say in someone else’s shoewear As a comparison, I can’t remember the last time DH commented negatively on my clothes, although he will occasionally say “you look nice” if he sees I’ve made an effort. I’m also much bigger than you and he frequently tells me how gorgeous I am (I’m really not!). I like to think I have the same approach to how he looks tbh. I’m really sorry but his attitude doesn’t sound right at all.

Heels are another of man's way of making women uncomfortable for 'beauty.'

Tell him that if he likes the dress (or whatever) he can get one for himself.

Does he wear heels and short skirts? If not why not?

My DM was a real 1950s housewife, but she would have never tolerated this bollocks

It's not petty, it's extremely controlling.
It's worrying that he does it, but more alarming that you have to ask if Yabu to want to choose your own clothes.
My 8 year old chooses her own clothes. Sometimes she looks like she's on her way to clown school, but so be it.
I presume your husband's level of control extends to other areas of your life?
It's not really about the clothes.

This can't be for real?? I don't think my DH has ever commented on my clothes in over 30 years of marriage, he once bought me something to wear but I made it absolutely clear that I choose my own clothes and he's never made that mistake again.
Equally I wouldn't dream on commenting on what he wears.
And no way would either of us go shopping for clothes together.

Is he controlling in other areas of life?

That's beyond weird.

My husband has never been with me to shop, nor me with him.

He sounds strange and very controlling

Where what YOU want. If he doesn't like it, that's his problem, not yours!!

Jesus. Fuck that. Genuinely LTB

My ex was like this, couldn't win. It's controlling behaviour, it's sexist behaviour.

"so I would like to work out what to do about it once and for all!"

Tell him to keep his unwanted opinion to himself, and you need to have the courage to make your own choices. Why is he so interested in your clothing? Doesn't he express himself through his own fashion choices?

He’s making sure you don’t take the outfit he wants to cavort around the bedroom in whilst you’re out.

That is genuinely the only logical reason.

Surely this is a joke post

Does he make sure to wear clothes you like?

Couldn't click on the poll because you're not being unreasonable wanting to wear what you like but you are being unreasonable listening to him.

What the fuck?! This is crazy.

I wear whatever I like and would never have anyone tell me otherwise.

I hope you have your own spending money and he isn’t controlling in other areas. This is awful.

You are not a doll, he is not your master. Arsehole.

I did this strange and sad. You are your own person!

I think it's strange that he chops and changes his mind whatever you're wearing, you wear a dress and he wants to know why you're not wearing trousers and boots and vice versa. Is he trying to undermine you? My OH hasn't got a clue when it comes to my clothes, he used to suggest a dress and high heels when there is a lot of walking involved, I suggested he wears them and see how comfortable they are, cue sheepish grin from OH. Or the time he suggested I should be wearing lingerie to get him going! again I suggested he wear them and I change into his smelly jogging bottoms, cue look of horror from OH. I'd suggest this approuch

What the fuck? Why and how have you put up with this for so long?