to not want my 4 year old going away for a week

[pinklemonade84]

DD is currently 3 and did her first day trip to North Wales with the in laws and has stayed with them overnight there when we've left their caravan a night early and they've brought her home the following day

We were meant to be at a hospital appointment today and they were meant to be giving us a lift as fil already had an appointment there 25 minutes before dd's. But I cancelled as she's been running a horrible fever all day and was sick in the night.

Pil popped in on their way home to check on how dd was doing. And about half way into their visit fil announced (didn't ask) that they would be taking dd to the caravan for a full week with them next year. I said that I wasn't saying no, but that at the moment I'm not comfortable being away from her for that long. Pil pulled their faces and said "well she'll be 4 next year, so she'll be fine" as if it's a foregone conclusion that it's 100% happening.

They're very opinionated on how often I take dd out, whether it's to a park or paid activity. The clothes I dress her in (leggings and t shirts or hoodies because dd hates dresses and skirts) and told me she looked ridiculous once. And got snotty with me because I took dd on a 270 mile road trip to see a friend of mine, saying it wasn't normal that I'd gone on my own with her.

Am I being selfish in not wanting to be away from her for so long? I don't mind 2-3 nights, but a full week I'm really not and can't see myself being comfortable with. And to be honest I don't like them dictating to me what they're going to do with dd.

No, your pils by all accounts didn't tell you that your child would be going away with them.
You were not put in a stressful position wondering how to say no to people who very clearly, are not easy and reasonable to say no too.

You don't know how it feels and yes, being put by un reasonable people in this position can very much affect any mothers mental health. It can even cause marriage breakdown.

People who tell people what to do like this are bullies.

My mother was like that, OP... only we lived in the Netherlands and she was in Australia. She announced that she was going to pay for the kids to fly back without us once, in front of the kids.... their response was “OMG! Do we have to?!?!” We said No, of course not, and she went off her dial because we were all ungrateful. As if we’d let our kids fly across the world without one of us present. (Let alone stay with her and be subject to her batshit moods and driving!!!)

Go no contact with these ppl in both cases, let dc father facilitate contact. I would say supervised only and make them get back in their box. Out of order, all of them

Obviously it's your decision but those who are saying as a matter of course 'She wouldn't like it' are being a bit ingenuous, you're probably hoping she won't like it because that would indicate an increasing confidence! For medical reasons we once had to collect our granddaughter at just over 2 and bring her 400 miles to stay with us for what became almost three weeks. She was fine, she did miss her Mummy of course but there have been no lasting problems from it, she hardly remembers it.
I do think that reading these pages parents now are far more clingy with their children, they seem to think it makes them superior and more loving when in reality it is making problems of 'separation', such a twee word.