To be expected to pay/contribute to uniform when maintenance is paid

[Cosybythefire11]

Just asking this out of curiosity of opinions if anything.

If a parent pays child maintenance every month towards to upkeep of a child, should the other parent ask them to pay for/contribute towards a school uniform?

YABU - yes the parent should contribute
YANBU - no the parent shouldn’t contribute

Im not saying it would be the right thing but you cant expect someone else to fund your extortionate rent because you dont want to move. Things often have to change post divorce.

It’s not about need.

It’s about what’s fair.

I don’t need the extent of money I receive from my ex

However he earns a very very high salary and beyond the maintenance he pays, he is only supporting.... himself.

So he’s off on fabulous holidays and drives a top of the range bmw

He pays a good maintenance to me, and contributes to extras - and this means I get to take the children on fab hols etc etc

So no bitterness or jealously

Do I need nice holidays etc? No. Is it fair if my ex is doing so and I would if it weren’t for fact that in RP, then yes

Who said anything about exclusive? London rent is expensive even in total shitholes imo.

It depends how much maintenance is I think. I get £200 pcm from my ex for three DC which really doesn’t go anywhere at all... I do not get extra towards uniform so it’s hard, I think he should pay extra towards it or at least buy some of it himself.

If he paid me double that or more then I wouldn’t expect extra.

Yes some people really go out of their way to minimise the disruption to the kids during a break up. Silly buggers,they are!

£900 for housing, council tax, food, electric, water, tv, internet, clothes, is nowhere near half of what it costs to raise a child
Your ex shouldn't be paying half your rent and bills! Thats not what maintenance is!

kewl im not saying they should move im saying they shouldn't expect someone else to pay to support that decision. Hth.

I don't think anyone who owns a house in London earns minimum wage these days. Not unless the house was inherited and is now falling apart.

Who said anything about owning? People rent in london.

Yet again the usual posters pop up and I’m reminded to send a text to my ex-H telling him how grateful I am for his ongoing friendship and support

Whats that supposed to mean?

£900 for housing, council tax, food, electric, water, tv, internet, clothes, is nowhere near half of what it costs to raise a child.

So more than 2k PER month PER child?

It isn't just a father's responsibility to pay for all of those things. If you didn't have a child you would be facing a large proportion of those costs yourself so should also be contributing.

Im in Ireland so theres no CMS and back to school is a really expensive time- its not just uniforms, its the book rentals/purchases the not at all voluntary fees and every other cost and charge you can think of.

Maintenance is classed as day to day expenses for the child and unless you have come up with an agreed figure between both parties, a court will order a reasonable sum (15-20% of salary I believe), they believe in you make 'em, you pay for 'em.

Back to school and school costs, Christmas and birthdays are seen as exceptional payments, so my order states that back to school costs are to be split 50/50, BUT sending a child back to school in Ireland is more expensive than the UK. Its not just uniform, its book fees, book rental not at all voluntary contributions and the list goes on.

Christmas and birthdays are somewhat of a greyer area as it depends on how much the maintenance is, and also the value each parent places on the importance of that holiday- so ex and I just do those events separately. I don't want to finance gadgets for the kids, and he thinks that I am being stingy when I buy them books. Its easier like that.

School however, is non negotiable and it is ridiculously expensive, so yes, I think that the initial back to school cost should be split as an additional expense not covered in everyday maintenance. However, if my children need new runners in the term, I dont go running to him demanding he must pay 50% as an ongoing cost. That's wear and tear, I just need a hand with the initial outlay when it all comes due at the one time.

Masivly contraversal.
In our household dp doesn't. He would say yes but ew asks for a flat amount of 400 quid for half... Mental (primary children). He asked for receipts to pay half or to buy items eg shoes or coats etc and offered to pay half if he saw them, but she refused.
So no money is paid as that unreasonable. Plus he pays over the odds for maintenance.
This BTW is why maintenance is suposse to cover uniform etc so to stop wierd abuse and bizarre requests and encourage reasonableness (although it often fails)

Say Jane has 3 kids. If Jane rented herself, she could get a studio for 500 a month somewhere in the UK. However, she needs a 2-3 bedroom in an area where the kid(s) can have something like the lifestyle they had before in terms of friends, family and school. The lifestyle built by both parents. That should be the aim of both parents and there are regulations that say as much.

That means mum has to pay an extra 1k to live somewhere with enough bedrooms and in an accessible area. 500 of that is absorbed by her. 500 goes to dad. We haven't even started on clothes and food and utilities yet.

@JoanMavisIcecreamGirl
I don't have an ex, like I said I'm not in the position to need it, but I thought maintenance was maintenance for raising a child?

I dont see why you wouldn't want to I've just spent £84 on shoes JUST shoes this year unfortunately they have both grown and I needed to buy everything including socks dad contributes nothing at all not even the £7 a week he is supposed to pay from his benefits so I've GOT to pay £20 to force him to pay which sucks

I dont think dad should be paying half of janes rent considering dad also has to rent a place big enough for all the children to stay when they visit, and close enough to janes house to be easily accessible.

Dad presumably doesnt have access to a magic money tree and theerefore would probably find it nigh on impossible to pay for 1.5 households while jane pays for 0.5

It doesn't matter if you were only renting in that area so that's where your kids went to school and set up their lives. So even if you rent then yes,you do have an obligation not to disrupt the kid's lives more than necessary. Part of that might mean continuing to rent in the expensive area you chose to live when you were a couple so the kids don't have to change school as well as deal with everything else going on at home.

Depends on the level of maintenance and the finances of both parents and the cost of the uniform. A pack of Asda polos and a few pairs of shorts for a 5 year old is a lot cheaper than new trousers blazer and shoes for an adult sized teenager.
The resident parent might also want more uniform ( 5 shirts, 3 jumpers etc) than the NRP who is not doing the washing might think absolutely necessary.w
The cost of replacing lost/ broken clothing should also be considered - I don't think it should always be the R P w go has to cover that.
So no, couldn't possibly vote on that.

geek yes raising a child not paying half your exs bills?! One child does not double your gas and electric bill or your internet and phone.

My ex pays very little maintenance for our twins. They're starting high school in September and I've had to kit two DC out completely for high school (where you're only allowed to wear 'approved' uniform at £25 for a pair of trousers). He has absolutely refused to help pay towards uniform. I've had to go into debt to pay for it.

So I'm very angry and bitter right now. Yes, it is an extra expense and both parents should contribute to it. It is NOT covered by standard maintenance.

He isn't paying half, he's paying half of the additional rent for housing the kids. Rent for Jane could be 500. Rent for Jane and kids is 1.5k due to house size and area. So Dad is paying 500 of the 1k increase. Jane is paying 500 for her and 500 for the kids. Jane pays 1k rent for the place she lives with the kids. Dad pays 500 for it. He is paying 1/3. She is paying 2/3.

That wasnt my point kewl

@wishfull888

I don't think it's just a father's responsibility to pay for all of those things. Children are a joint effort aren't they.
Costs should be split between the mother and father.

My Dad always paid half when my siblings and I were children.