Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL suddenly refused to babysit

301 replies

Want2727 · 17/08/2019 09:59

Tonight having a meal with my family for my brothers 40th birthday. The meal is booked for 8 in a really posh restaurant. It has been planned for ages and we asked my in-laws to babysit DS 6 about 2 months ago.

MIL has just rung to say she won’t be babysitting as it is disgusting we won’t be including Ds in the meal as brother kids will be there.

Now my brothers youngest kid is 18 so very different to six. Where we are going has no kids menu. The adults menu will have nothing Ds wants. My brother did check when booking it and I said “your birthday your choice and it would be nice for us to have a night out without Ds”

So now DH is having to stay at home and I am fuming. MIL had known about the exact reason they are babysitting for 2 months and today on the day of the meal she decided she won’t be babysitting as it’s unfair we are not taking Ds.

So 2 AIBU here the first
Should we bring taking Ds tonight?
And
AIBu to be fuming at MIL

OP posts:
araiwa · 17/08/2019 10:01

Shes a shithead

Remember this in the future

ChocolateRaisin · 17/08/2019 10:01

YANBU, I would be fuming.

Sexnotgender · 17/08/2019 10:02

YANBU. What a stupid excuse.

Is there anyone else who can babysit for you?

Original poster
Want2727 · 17/08/2019 10:03

I have rung a good friend and lucky she is free and Ds loves her so all is good. Still pissed though

OP posts:
TalkToMeAboutSocialWorkPlease · 17/08/2019 10:04

A - Can you call the restaurant and see if they'll do chips or something you boy will eat?

B - She's an idiot, like a pp said, remember this.

Jupiters · 17/08/2019 10:04

I'd be fuming with her, she's known this for months and deliberately done this at the last minute.

NeutralJanet · 17/08/2019 10:04

Can you not get an agency babysitter, or beg a friend with similar age children to have DS for a sleepover? MIL is being a bitch, no way I'd take a 6 year old to a posh place like that.

Pipandmum · 17/08/2019 10:05

Don’t ask her to babysit again. It’s a silly excuse as your daughter would be bored.
Can you find someone else? Can your husband tell her his evening out has now been ruined because of this?

ChrisPrattsFace · 17/08/2019 10:05

Ohhhh call her out on that. And don’t forget it next time!

GinNotGym19 · 17/08/2019 10:05

Yanbu she should have said at the beginning. It’s also not her place to decide who should invite your ds to dinner.
I wouldn’t take my children to a dinner like that. There’s no kids menu they obviously don’t cater to children which is fine! It’s also nice to have a night out without ds so I’d be as fuming as you are!

whattodowith · 17/08/2019 10:05

YANBU, I’d be furious.

BertrandRussell · 17/08/2019 10:06

How very odd. Does she know how old the other “children” are? Is this typical behaviour?

Sexnotgender · 17/08/2019 10:06

Great! That’s good of your friend at short notice.

MIL is a dick. Remember this.

Washpot · 17/08/2019 10:07

Glad you’re sorted. Temporarily park your fuming so you enjoy your evening.

Original poster
Want2727 · 17/08/2019 10:07

Yep she knows how old. She will be fuming we are still going. She does have a bit for form but this is a new low

OP posts:
AmIRightOrAMeringue · 17/08/2019 10:08

It absolutely none of her business. If you want a night out without him, then have one. Even if there was a kids menu, special meals like that take ages and are really boring for kids and I doubt its somewhere that will have crayons and drawing stuff and a play park to keep them entertained

She clearly just had a better offer or wanted to sabotage your night. Otherwise she would have objected at the outset. Why wait til the last minute? What does your husband think?

I take it she never wants to babysit again since babysitting by definition is leaving your son out of any activity you've chosen

AGenericUsername · 17/08/2019 10:08

YANBU! She's a dick! You're allowed to have a night out without your DS. There's nothing wrong with that. Your brother's 'kids' are adults so it's completely different. Even if they were the same age, there's still nothing wrong with you having a child-free night out.

I'm glad you've managed to sort some last minute child care.

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 17/08/2019 10:10

so what is it that she really doesn't like??

is it your brother?
is it you two having a night out sans children?
is it the posh restaurant?

I would not contact her at all, don't let her know you have an alternative plan, and make sure you and dh are all over facebook tonight and see how long it takes her to panic and ask if you have shut ds under the the stair Harry Potter stylee.

And never as her for a favour ever again.

Ratbagcatbag · 17/08/2019 10:11

That's really crappy behaviour from her. What has your husband said?

Didiusfalco · 17/08/2019 10:11

She’s a controlling dick. I would be furious that’s she’s dropped this on you at the last minute.

Mypetsnails · 17/08/2019 10:11

Horrible behaviour from MIL. Do not forget this

Cherrysoup · 17/08/2019 10:12

It's none of her business that you've chosen not to take your ds! How very weird of her and extremely unfair so last minute.

DragonMamma · 17/08/2019 10:14

Bloody hell. I’d be furious with her.

So pleased your friend can have your DS. That’s a lovely two fingered salute to her.

toadabode · 17/08/2019 10:14

Wow she sounds like such a cow!! Your DH needs to have a word. Have a fab evening

yikesanddang · 17/08/2019 10:15

So pretty categorically, everyone on here agrees that your MIL is freaking weird. And has some horrible problem.