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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Man Walking Into The Toilet Whilst Child Using The Toilet

215 replies

TreeHuggerMom · 14/08/2019 17:04

Hi,
I’m not sure if this post belongs in here but I just wanted to get other people’s opinions on a situation. Whilst at Soft Play today, my 8 year old son was using the toilet in a cubicle, the lock was broken so his older brother was next to the toilet guarding the door but you could see a child was inside using the toilet from the outside. A man walked in and went in front of my older son and pushed the door open and was looking down at my son’s private parts whilst he was going to the toilet, which lasted about 8 seconds. He then left and continued to wait out of the cubicle then my son left the toilet. Both my children came to me and told me that the man had been watching my son inside the cubicle whilst going to the toilet. I approached the guy who was quite hostile, whose mother then said “Don’t you start with us!”. I wasn’t hostile atall, I just stated calmly that my son said he entered the toilet whilst he was in there and watched him, he said he went into the toilet and was looking at the piss (his word) on the floor. I then said it didn’t give him the right to go into the toilet and invade his privacy because it made my son uncomfortable. He was again hostile and told me to go away. I then explained, as a parent, it is my duty to enquire because it clearly made my son very uncomfortable. Now I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable to question him, I feel if I hadn’t I would have been dismissing my son’s concerns. I would never do something like this myself and can’t see any reason why he needed to enter the toilet whilst my son was going to the toilet.

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
PatternedSlippers · 15/08/2019 14:24

FWR has attracted a huge increase in traffic, some of those people following an ideology supporting the breakdown of safeguarding. That traffic will possibly be using the rest of the site and may be trying to influence culture.

I find attitudes on this thread concerning.

www.transgendertrend.com/no-outsiders-queering-primary-classroom/

PatternedSlippers · 15/08/2019 14:29

Who do you want to win? A brief win on a thread making you feel superior for a moment or supporting parenting?

Traffic overall to the site has gone down is it any wonder when you read threads like this, only traffic to FWR has increased and many of those people don't have the best interests of family, women or children.

Nesssie · 15/08/2019 14:35

Soontobe60 Talks sense

You went marching over to this man and didn't even give him a chance, just straight away called him a paedophile, no wonder he got defensive.

Its likely he didn't realise the stall was occupied, went in, very awkward and embarrassing for both the man and your son.

Also, having this thread deleted because people aren't jumping to the same conclusions as you (that the man must be a paedophile), and are actually giving you other rational explanations? That's childish.

Soontobe60 · 15/08/2019 14:41

'Not to hijack the thread. But in the UK instance I mentioned upthread, it was a small cubicle with one loo and 1 urinal. It was for males. It was basically made for 1 person at a time. My ds was on the loo and I was directly outside with the door open so I could see and help him. A grown man barged past and went to use the urinal, closing the door with just him and ds in there. I yanked Open the door and gave him what for. He left, tail between his legs! hmm'
In her first post, @downbutnotout2018 said that he walked into a cubicle and locked the door with her son inside. Then she said he closed the door, she yanked it open and he left. So he didn't lock the door unless she has superhuman strength! , He walked into what he thought was an empty toilet cubicle which for some strange reason the woman had left her very small child in there alone, then he hastily realised the child was in there and exited sharpish. So she certainly embellished the truth. When actually, she just wasn't supervising her very young child well enough.

Soontobe60 · 15/08/2019 14:46

@PatternedSlippers I'm not sure I get what you're talking about.

Binforky · 15/08/2019 14:46

I dont know what happened in this situation but once accidentally walked in on a woman in a coffee shop who started screaming at me that I was a disgusting lesbian pervert. She came out and carried on shouting at me that I like walking in on people. I didn't have a moment to defend myself at all and shes probably told many people about me. Weird thing was the door had a working lock.

RosesAndRaindrops · 15/08/2019 15:11

As for the poster saying a man got into the cubicle with her 3 y.o son and locked himself in with the little child, and she told him she was not happy....
This thread..... this place gets more toilet obsessed and batty by the day!
I'd be breaking the fucking door down and not caring who looked at me in the process if that happened to me!

HeadintheiClouds · 15/08/2019 15:14

It didn’t happen, she couldn’t possibly have “yanked” open a locked door.

downbutnotout2018 · 15/08/2019 15:16

@Soontobe60 how dare you. I was supervising my child perfectly. Have you just come on here to be a troll. What would I gain from lying on an anonymous random thread FFS?

Contraceptionismyfriend · 15/08/2019 15:19

So how far away were you. Because I stand by the door and if someone tried to walk into the cubicle I would have just said that it was occupied.

downbutnotout2018 · 15/08/2019 15:20

@Soontobe60 you seem to be obsessed with people lying. Why would someone lie about the set up of a public toilet?

LatteLove · 15/08/2019 15:26

YANBU, the guy sounds like a right fucking oddball at best. As for the guy locking himself in a cubicle with a 3 year old, Wtaf, there is no innocent explanation for this. “2 man toilet” my arse.

Bertieandernie · 15/08/2019 15:34

His mum sounds batshit like Kim Woodburn “don’t start with me lovie”

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 15/08/2019 15:49

Oh FFS! I'm sorry Op. You are right to believe your boys. I'm going to have to leave mn for a while. I cannot believe the apologists on here! Shock

Bertieandernie · 15/08/2019 15:56

It’s actually obvious the boys are telling the truth as the man himself admitted he stood there looking at the piss on the floor 🙄 what a weird fucking creep!!

Doesn’t matter if the 13YO wasn’t guarding properly he was probably looking at his phone or something which is normal for boys his age

Bertieandernie · 15/08/2019 15:58

Even if you are a weirdo that looks at piss on the floor, do it when the boy is gone not with him on the toilet !!! Creeeeeep!

toadabode · 15/08/2019 16:04

You need to report this to the police. Let them check it out and make a judgement

Fillipe · 15/08/2019 16:13

OP, I think you should keep this thread up. It can serve as a reminder and warning to normal parents, that there is a large number of perve apologists around, on here and in rl.

You did the right thing at the playcentre and also in reporting to the police.

Hope your ds are ok after their nasty experience.

ElizaDee · 15/08/2019 16:14

@TreeHuggerMom Wed 14-Aug-19 18:03:45
My son is 13 he’s very aware of time concepts. He also said you could see through the small gap in the door that my son was in there, as I mentioned before the toilets are side on. You also couldn’t see the urine on the floor from the outside, so his excuse he was looking at the piss on the floor wasnt relevant. I’m sure any child that tells their mother/father that a grown man came into the toilet cubicle and was looking at their private parts would be a cause for concern. I have no doubt it was a genuine mistake for whatever reason I can’t think off but still he should have been told if he thinks it’s ok to invade others privacy

I don't think it was a mistake if his mother was downstairs with the kids they were with and the adult unisex toilets were downstairs. Why was he upstairs? I'd report this to the staff and police and get the police to take his picture from the CCTV.

Fillipe · 15/08/2019 16:28

If he was a paedophile, who did this a lot, I would guess he would have a plausible excuse ready
He did!! Looking at the wee on the floor!! (well, plausible to him)

PatternedSlippers · 15/08/2019 16:35

Many MPs accept awards from this media source.

mobile.twitter.com/ripx4nutmeg/status/1161996322603491328

Fillipe · 15/08/2019 16:47

So she certainly embellished the truth
The poster briefly outlined the experience in first post and explained further in second post. What's wrong with that? Absolutely no reason whatsoever to disbelieve!

Unless of course, you're just on here simply to cause trouble?

PatternedSlippers · 15/08/2019 17:01

Media, BBC and Pink news discussing change in social attitudes.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=NUR9QMq3UrM

Fillipe · 15/08/2019 17:10

downbutnotout2018
My ds was on the loo and I was directly outside with the door open so I could see and help him

However, soontobe60
She just wasn't supervising her very young child well enough

Yep, can certainly see who's come on here solely to make things up and cause trouble?

Fillipe · 15/08/2019 17:27

Teddybear45
Please put normal parents' minds at rest and confirm that you neither have children of your own, or work with children?