Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Man Walking Into The Toilet Whilst Child Using The Toilet

215 replies

TreeHuggerMom · 14/08/2019 17:04

Hi,
I’m not sure if this post belongs in here but I just wanted to get other people’s opinions on a situation. Whilst at Soft Play today, my 8 year old son was using the toilet in a cubicle, the lock was broken so his older brother was next to the toilet guarding the door but you could see a child was inside using the toilet from the outside. A man walked in and went in front of my older son and pushed the door open and was looking down at my son’s private parts whilst he was going to the toilet, which lasted about 8 seconds. He then left and continued to wait out of the cubicle then my son left the toilet. Both my children came to me and told me that the man had been watching my son inside the cubicle whilst going to the toilet. I approached the guy who was quite hostile, whose mother then said “Don’t you start with us!”. I wasn’t hostile atall, I just stated calmly that my son said he entered the toilet whilst he was in there and watched him, he said he went into the toilet and was looking at the piss (his word) on the floor. I then said it didn’t give him the right to go into the toilet and invade his privacy because it made my son uncomfortable. He was again hostile and told me to go away. I then explained, as a parent, it is my duty to enquire because it clearly made my son very uncomfortable. Now I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable to question him, I feel if I hadn’t I would have been dismissing my son’s concerns. I would never do something like this myself and can’t see any reason why he needed to enter the toilet whilst my son was going to the toilet.

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
MunaZaldrizoti · 14/08/2019 18:27

Does it take more than a second to see that someone else is sat on the toilet? He should have immediately closed the door and then apologised!

Being hostile about it afterwards is just weird, I'm not surprised you're weirded out OP

BitOftheSea · 14/08/2019 18:31

I guess you’re getting a hard time because it’s weird to post this here and also something those weird web pervs would do to hear stories of invasions of privacy. If this happened as described then I would be concerned too. Not sure what I would have done. Maybe reported it to staff.

Jinxed2 · 14/08/2019 18:37

And people think I’m being over cautious still taking my son in the ladies with me

fernandoanddenise · 14/08/2019 18:42

Never thought I would write this but I honestly think I would phone 101 and report this if it happened as you describe.

bellabasset · 14/08/2019 18:44

I think you should have reported this to the staff as it's unacceptable for a man to intrude into a toilet cubicle used by a child.

The man's dm's reaction is quite odd and would have made me suspicious

steff13 · 14/08/2019 18:52

He could have easily asked the older boy if there was someone in the stall, there was no need for him to enter at all.

1arlingtonroad · 14/08/2019 18:58

What did the staff say when you reported it to them? Oh wait ,you didn’t did you.

HeadintheiClouds · 14/08/2019 19:00

Why didn’t the 13 year old say that loo is occupied? If he was guarding the door the man would have had to lift him bodily out of the way to get in??

newstart1337 · 14/08/2019 19:04

So man goes into toilet, sees a teenager loitering. He sees the cubicle door is ajar. We dont know he saw anyone inside, just that it was possible to see if you had been looking at a certain angle. Teenager doesn't say anything about the cubicle being occupied.

Maybe the man thought there was some shenanigans going on? Or maybe he just thought the cubicle was free. Either way he opened the door saw a younger boy with pee all over the floor. Maybe he thought the boy was peeing all over the floor deliberately? A few seconds later he left. No way was a teenager counting how many seconds it took.

I think it sounds like one of things and not something deliberate.

Yogagirl123 · 14/08/2019 19:05

I always took my boys to the toilet with me, not worth the risk IMHO.

Still can’t understand that a 13yr old would have allowed the door to be opened if he was standing outside it?

Babybrainstill · 14/08/2019 19:10

How does anyone know....no one was there....if your told by and adult a man had invaded the loo with a child in it then that's that...hell breaks loose..
But a child can get things mixed up....but even still I would of got a member of staff to have a word...it's a difficult one..

newstart1337 · 14/08/2019 19:12

Op hasn't said if the boy was, sitting facing the door, or, standing facing the wall. That might make a difference to someones reaction if no private parts were visible.

username678889 · 14/08/2019 19:27

Why didn’t the 13 year old say that loo is occupied? Good point Hmm

SignedUpJust4This · 14/08/2019 19:32

If I saw a child standing by a cubicle door I wouldn't assume they were guarding the door. I would assume it was a child standing in an annoying place as children frequently so and I would squeeze past to get in.

HeadintheiClouds · 14/08/2019 19:36

But given the boy knew he was guarding the door, he should have opened his fecking mouth when someone was attempting to squeeze past, don’t you think?
Rather than standing there counting to 8?

slashlover · 14/08/2019 19:41

Just because the man could notice your son though the space in the door, it doesn't mean he did. If the door was ajar then he might have just assumed the cubicle was empty and walked in.

GPatz · 14/08/2019 19:54

I don't get some of these responses. Do people think the OP is making the whole thing up?

SignedUpJust4This · 14/08/2019 20:08

No but I do think children often exaggerate.

TreeHuggerMom · 14/08/2019 20:15

1arlingtonroad-Why would you assume I hadn’t reported it?

OP posts:
codenameduchess · 14/08/2019 20:17

So, if this did happen. Your 8 year old pissed on the floor then used the toilet but the door didn't lock and your 13 year old was standing somewhere nearby when a man came in.
Man wasn't checking small cracks in the door before entering what looked to be a free cubicle. Instead of saying 'someone's in there' before the man opens the door your 13 year old stays silent then starts very precisely timing how long it took the man to leave the cubicle.
Man leaves, probably quite embarrassed (or disgusted there was piss all over the floor) for you to then go over and accuse him of looking at your sons genitals.

Still not sure why this man was at a soft play with his mum, what's 'older children'? Did he have young ones too?

This is batshit.

HeadintheiClouds · 14/08/2019 20:18

What did security say when you reported it?

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 14/08/2019 20:20

This is a thing that definitely, 100% happened...

Iggly · 14/08/2019 20:22

We shouldn’t minimise the children’s discomfort at this situation. Children are not idiots.

It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t exactly 8 seconds. It matters that this man was inappropriate and the OP did the right thing!

araiwa · 14/08/2019 20:23

Literally incredible

HeadintheiClouds · 14/08/2019 20:28

Most children are not idiots