Man Walking Into The Toilet Whilst Child Using The Toilet

[TreeHuggerMom]

Hi,
I’m not sure if this post belongs in here but I just wanted to get other people’s opinions on a situation. Whilst at Soft Play today, my 8 year old son was using the toilet in a cubicle, the lock was broken so his older brother was next to the toilet guarding the door but you could see a child was inside using the toilet from the outside. A man walked in and went in front of my older son and pushed the door open and was looking down at my son’s private parts whilst he was going to the toilet, which lasted about 8 seconds. He then left and continued to wait out of the cubicle then my son left the toilet. Both my children came to me and told me that the man had been watching my son inside the cubicle whilst going to the toilet. I approached the guy who was quite hostile, whose mother then said “Don’t you start with us!”. I wasn’t hostile atall, I just stated calmly that my son said he entered the toilet whilst he was in there and watched him, he said he went into the toilet and was looking at the piss (his word) on the floor. I then said it didn’t give him the right to go into the toilet and invade his privacy because it made my son uncomfortable. He was again hostile and told me to go away. I then explained, as a parent, it is my duty to enquire because it clearly made my son very uncomfortable. Now I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable to question him, I feel if I hadn’t I would have been dismissing my son’s concerns. I would never do something like this myself and can’t see any reason why he needed to enter the toilet whilst my son was going to the toilet.

Thanks in advance!

I think it's possible that "Don't start with us" may have literally meant just that.

The same as if it had been a row over parking or pushing in the queue at the supermarket?

There seems to be a really odd politics to male toilets. I had a situation with my 3 year old using the men's loo. A man walked passed and got in the cubicle with him and locked the door! I was not pleased and told him so!

Erm, you what now?! Who was with your 3 year old??

"The OP needs to report it if she thinks a crime has been committed against her son."

Or if she thinks his behaviour was a worry or concern. When I was a civilian working for the police we frequently had intelligence photos of persons of interest circulated on our intranet site and often they were convicted paedophiles who were known to spend time in places where children congregate.

From an intelligence point of view they might be interested in this person, and the CCTV could also be of value not necessarily in terms of proving a crime has been committed but in terms of proving that he was actually at soft play if he claims not to have been.

OP call the police and seek advice - it's not just about recording a crime, suspicious behaviour is also of interest. It's not that different to reporting someone prowling around at night looking in windows but I doubt you'd get so much hysteria as you're getting from this lot tonight if that was something you called the police for advice over.

Yes exactly freakshow. That's why the onus is on the OP and not the staff.

ZeeZee3

If this did happen, why the fuck did you not call the police immediately. ???! confused I would have. (After I had fucking knocked him out!)

Too bloody right, me too!

They're all out tonight

@Teddybear45

I'm sorry what?

Do you have children?

If your child came to you and told you something happened to them that was potentially predatory, would you really victim blame the child?

You know when you see the in the news that a child was abused for 10 years, has only just spoken out? When asked why they say "I was told noone would believe me" "i was scared noone would believe me"

You my not friend, are the reason victims dont speak out.

This situation was probably a misunderstanding, but to automatically assume a child has cried wolf or bent the truth, is really quite disgusting.

I hope to god you dont work with children, or have then for that matter. How worrying.

If your 13 yr old is mature and sensible why did he not say the cubicle is being used?
The 13 yr olds I know would, I’ve a feeling he wasn’t watching the door as no teenager is that unable to speak, a man going in a toilet isn’t shocking or scary, he only had to say a few words but on MN DC seem to be looked on as incapable toddlers until they’re 25!
Other PP why was your 3 yr old sent into a male toilet alone? Was there no female one?

This thread is depressing. I couldn't agree more with dollydaydream114, summed it up perfectly. Attitudes like the ones on this thread are a huge part of the problem and one of the reasons that pedophiles will continue to get away with what hurting children.

OP good on you for believing your boys and showing them that what happened was not OK rather than assuming they were mistaken and sweeping it under the carpet.

I would personally tell the police not wait until the soft play can make a decision whether to tell them. As the parent it should be your choice.

Op, report this immediately to the police first thing tomorrow. You know that this mans actions were inappropriate and it could be a pattern if behaviour for this man. If he hasn’t done anything wrong or ‘known’ to the police then he has nothing to worry about

If your child isn't able to lock and unlock a door and is pissing over the floor NO they aren't able to go by themselves. Try taking him in future.

If your child isn't able to lock and unlock a door and is pissing over the floor NO they aren't able to go by themselves. Try taking him in future there’s nothing to sugest to op
Son pissed on the floor.

If the adult male in this situation is unable to walk downstairs and use an adult toilet rather than a child’s toliet then he really needs to stay at home until he can work out that it’s unreasonble to do anything other than turn around and apologise when he enters a child’s toilet where a child is having a wee, rather than stare at a child’s genitals

HiJenny35 - Did you actually read the post, or make up your own version? The lock was broken on the door, so it couldn’t be locked and nowhere did I mention my son wee’d all over the floor.

Teddybear I think you need to find a psychiatrist who enjoys a challenge and HiJenny maybe you can ride share with Teddybear

Strange posters here OP, people who don't believe children, people who don't understand why people want perverts on CCTV, people who post for strange reasons.

I hope the phone call to the police goes well and that the CCTV captured the pervert so the police can identify then take him out of circulation.

Sine of the responses on here are very depressing. It's hard to decided which is the most offensive - the posters calling this thread a lie or the posters making a jokes about the children and stopwatches or being useless bodyguards.

There is clearly something off about this man's behaviour and his reaction when you approached him. Your children felt uncomfortable and you believe them. It's good that you reported it to the staff. Perhaps you could ring back today and ask to speak to a Manager - ask if there have been similar Iincidents reported. Maybe call 101 and file a complaint.

Op I think in situations like this you need to just report it to the management immediately, not approach the man. You could discreetly take a photo of him to use when reporting this to the police.

If your son was spreading in there weeing, and a man also watched him for 8 seconds- that must have been in hell of a long wee!!!

Irrelevant comment!
"If your son was spreading in there weeing, and a man also watched him for 8 seconds- that must have been in hell of a long wee!!!".

I was abused by our family dr when I was 11.

Posts like some here are why I didn't tell anyone.

You know who you are. You should be totally ashamed.

So the OP post wasn't absolutely coherent? So fucking what? You do realise all your posts are textbook rape apologist stuff, making jokes, blaming victims, picking holes, pretending not to understand....

Seriously, just fuck off.

OP just the fact that an adult male has gone into a children's toilet (without accompanying any young children) , gone into a cubicle found it to be occupied by a child, not left immediately apologising for not knowing there was someone in there, and then reacted aggressively when challenged by the parent, raises alarm bells. I'd report to police regardless of what the soft play say. Also if lone adults are in the habit of using the children's toilets, the centre also need to tighten their policies and signage around this, it's a potential safeguarding risk.

I'm with @dollydaydream114

Also the excuse "looking at piss on the floor" is complete rubbish. Really poor.

Normal response would be, as people have pointed out, would be very apologetic/ genuine mistake/ didn't realise etc

The fact he thinks he even has a right to view the piss in a cubicle with a little boy using the toilet is very worrying. He has no regard whatsoever for the boys privacy or feelings. If he gets off on looking at piss on toilet Flores then he should do it when the toilets are empty then no one else is affected by his kink.