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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Man Walking Into The Toilet Whilst Child Using The Toilet

215 replies

TreeHuggerMom · 14/08/2019 17:04

Hi,
I’m not sure if this post belongs in here but I just wanted to get other people’s opinions on a situation. Whilst at Soft Play today, my 8 year old son was using the toilet in a cubicle, the lock was broken so his older brother was next to the toilet guarding the door but you could see a child was inside using the toilet from the outside. A man walked in and went in front of my older son and pushed the door open and was looking down at my son’s private parts whilst he was going to the toilet, which lasted about 8 seconds. He then left and continued to wait out of the cubicle then my son left the toilet. Both my children came to me and told me that the man had been watching my son inside the cubicle whilst going to the toilet. I approached the guy who was quite hostile, whose mother then said “Don’t you start with us!”. I wasn’t hostile atall, I just stated calmly that my son said he entered the toilet whilst he was in there and watched him, he said he went into the toilet and was looking at the piss (his word) on the floor. I then said it didn’t give him the right to go into the toilet and invade his privacy because it made my son uncomfortable. He was again hostile and told me to go away. I then explained, as a parent, it is my duty to enquire because it clearly made my son very uncomfortable. Now I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable to question him, I feel if I hadn’t I would have been dismissing my son’s concerns. I would never do something like this myself and can’t see any reason why he needed to enter the toilet whilst my son was going to the toilet.

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2019 17:46

I don't really like the sound of a toilet door you can see through.

MyFokMarelize · 14/08/2019 17:47
Biscuit
dollydaydream114 · 14/08/2019 17:48

How old is your older son? Is he old enough to know know how long eight seconds is?

FWIW, I think it’s extremely weird for a grown man to go into a toilet cubicle being used by a child and not immediately say ‘Oops, sorry!’ and walk out again. And to say ‘I was looking at the piss on the floor’ as an excuse rather than ‘I didn’t know he was in there and the door wasn’t locked’ is really odd.

MulticolourMophead · 14/08/2019 17:49

I approached the guy who was quite hostile, whose mother then said “Don’t you start with us!"

This makes it sound rather like he's done similar before.

Finfintytint · 14/08/2019 17:49

Maybe he did not realise someone was there and looking at the floor was a a way of averting his eyes. I guess he walked straight out and your child has no idea of time.

Thingsdogetbetter · 14/08/2019 17:55

Have you reported this to the staff? If not please do. The children's toilet should not be uses by adults I assume. Is there a sign on the door saying children's tiolets? And his mother's reaction seems very defensive - he may have form for this and the staff need to be aware!

VivaLeBeaver · 14/08/2019 17:55

He probably meant he didn't clock your son straight away as he was distracted by piss on the floor. I always do a floor piss observation before committing to a cubicle.

dollydaydream114 · 14/08/2019 17:56

Maybe he did not realise someone was there and looking at the floor was a a way of averting his eyes.*

Then why would he not just say it was a mistake and he didn’t know anyone was in there when he was challenged by the OP rather than saying he had been looking at piss on the floor?

Sunflowers11 · 14/08/2019 17:59

I would say to them, I'm asking you politely, however I won't start you but I'm the Police will, perving on a small child then walked off and reported it.

SimplySteveRedux · 14/08/2019 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

iklboo · 14/08/2019 18:03

Is there a full moon?

Tomorrow actually.

Original poster
TreeHuggerMom · 14/08/2019 18:03

My son is 13 he’s very aware of time concepts. He also said you could see through the small gap in the door that my son was in there, as I mentioned before the toilets are side on. You also couldn’t see the urine on the floor from the outside, so his excuse he was looking at the piss on the floor wasnt relevant. I’m sure any child that tells their mother/father that a grown man came into the toilet cubicle and was looking at their private parts would be a cause for concern. I have no doubt it was a genuine mistake for whatever reason I can’t think off but still he should have been told if he thinks it’s ok to invade others privacy.

OP posts:
Sunflowers11 · 14/08/2019 18:03

@FrancisCrawford I know this is serious but your comment 😂😂😂

OohthatlovelyNigelfromBabyClub · 14/08/2019 18:06

Report him on 101 if you think he's some sort of pervert. This isn't really the place.

username678889 · 14/08/2019 18:08

I'm not sure what your suggesting ?
He came in stood for 8 seconds looking at your child's privates .
First of all I reckon it was more like 2 seconds and 2nd kids are funny about bums etc he probably looked then realised someone in . I've walked in on a child on the toilet you look and walk off . I highly doubt if he was some sort of pervert he would go to soft play while the mother was waiting outside the toilets .
Also if you went to ask him what he's doing then he would be quite hostile because what your suggesting is quite horrific.

PatternedSlippers · 14/08/2019 18:08

Lots of perverts about, did they have cctv there?

Finfintytint · 14/08/2019 18:09

Seems like a mistake on his part. 13 year olds have no better time concepts than adults. Many witnesses massively over estimate how long an event took place and are unreliable.

zeezee3 · 14/08/2019 18:11

Just when I thought this forum couldn't get any more bat-shitty!

A grown man in soft play with his MOTHER? confused] Hmm Really @TreeHuggerMom ???

As for the poster saying a man got into the cubicle with her 3 y.o son and locked himself in with the little child, and she told him she was not happy.... Hmm

@downbutnotout2018

If this did happen, why the fuck did you not call the police immediately. ???! Confused I would have. (After I had fucking knocked him out!)

Andylion · 14/08/2019 18:13

I approached the guy who was quite hostile, whose mother then said “Don’t you start with us!"

"This makes it sound rather like he's done similar before."

I agree.

Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2019 18:13

Toilets with CCTV? Confused

PatternedSlippers · 14/08/2019 18:15

Toilets with CCTV? Confused

Could I be asking if a building had CCTV or asking if a toilet had CCTV? Hmm

Babybrainstill · 14/08/2019 18:17

Sorry just read a post stating that a man came into the cubicle...and the mother was not very pleased....ffs I'd be dragging a man out and calling the police on the pervert....
Not saying I wasn't very pleased...
Any man woman that invaded a child's privacy in a public toilet is a disgusting human that needs locking up

Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2019 18:17

I don't know @PatternedSlippers you didn't say. Hmm

PatternedSlippers · 14/08/2019 18:20

Sparklingbrook
How many business buildings have you come across that have CCTV in the main building and how many have CCTV in the toilets?

Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2019 18:23

No idea @PatternedSlippers, until this thread it's not something I have given lots of thought to. But I don't see what him being captured on CCTV in the soft play would prove.