To think you only go to funerals of people you know?

[justforthebuffet]

That's a bit of a generalisation I know. But myself and DH only go to funerals of people we know pretty well. I'm going to a family funeral next week, and I'm amazed at the number of people who are coming along who have either met the deceased/their family once or twice, and some are tagging along as a plus one despite never having met them at all. My DH isn't coming as he hasn't had anything to do with them for years and it means taking the day off work, but now I'm worried people will wonder why he isn't with me! Is it just me? Or is it the done thing to take extras along?

I loved it when a man with no family died and the funeral was packed with strangers. He was a WW2 veteran and an appeal went out on social media. I’d have gone in a heartbeat if it hadn’t been 200 miles away.

Scottish here. I've been to the funerals of the parents of two of my team at work.
My good friend's husband died a couple of years ago and staff from her son's' nursery and school attended.

weebarra thats lovely the nursery and school staff went.

When my FIL died my MIL was hugely comforted, and still is, by the number of people that came to the funeral.

It was standing room only at the back of the church and some people stood outside.

She somehow knows everyone that attended, even people like 'the ladies from the sandwich shop he used to go to'

For her it's a mark of how well he was respected, and a sharing of her considerable grief

For her it's a mark of how well he was respected, and a sharing of her considerable grief

Yes. A good funeral which is well attended is a source of comfort for many bereaved people. It’s a sign that their community supports them in their loss.

I think that in addition to the cultural shift between the buttoned up types and the open types, there is another cultural shift between those who have lived in the country of the mourning and those who have not. If you can feel comfortable in that half-world between the living and the dead, then I think that you will always be welcome at a funeral because you have the instincts to listen with a whole heart to the story of the person who died, and to take something of the meaningfulness of that person's human existence into yourself. It is for this reason I don't think funerals are awful. They are rituals of passage for the dead AND the living.