Do you pay your parents money for childcare?
NineteenThirtyOne · 11/08/2019 21:14
Will be going back to work soon 3 days a week after mat leave. Parents have said they will be happy to mind DS but for £50 a week..
AIBU to think this isn't the norm?
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/08/2019 21:17
£50 is a bargain! How generous of them to save you so much money.
MoominKitty · 11/08/2019 21:17
I'll be offering my PIL money for any regular child care they do. I personally wouldn't expect anyone but me and his dad to do it for free, but I don't know if that's unusual or not TBH.
SugarToothbrush · 11/08/2019 21:18
Yes, I do. It's a decent amount cheaper than using a nursery/childminder and means I can help my mum out financially while she can help me out with childcare. Win win.
Ellieboolou27 · 11/08/2019 21:18
My lovely mum looked after my girls 3 days a week and I paid her £300 per month.
Lwmommy · 11/08/2019 21:19
£50 will barely cover their costs though if they do any activities with your DC. If they don't get money from you then it could actually cost them a lot of money to look after your child. A nursery will charge £50 a day
My MIL had my DD for 3 years 1 day a week, she would never have accepted money, it just isn't something she would consider acceptable. It must of cost her a fortune though, every week they were out and about for that day, we always offered to pay her back for entry tickets or meals and she wouldn't take it.
Lazypuppy · 11/08/2019 21:19
I cover my mums costs - so extra petrol, food, and any activities she takes my dd to. Works out about £20 a week and she has her 3 afternoons a week
EyeDrops · 11/08/2019 21:20
I would if it was a regular thing - 3 days a week is a lot!
TeeniefaeTroon · 11/08/2019 21:20
Mine don't charge anything. Mum used to have my son 2 full days and now they collect him from school 4 days.
Byorderofthepeakyblinders · 11/08/2019 21:20
I don't pay mine.
The food, soft play, days out etc all adds up though. Is it possibly just a case of wanting to cover some costs?
SellFridges · 11/08/2019 21:20
My MIL paid for an extra day at nursery so she didn’t have to look after ours. She didn’t want to commit, but wanted to contribute.
Sandybval · 11/08/2019 21:21
I think that's reasonable, still saving a fair bit of money and it's probably to cover costs.
bakingcupcakes · 11/08/2019 21:21
I didn't pay anything. Parents had DS for 24 hours per week for first 2 years then less because of p/t nursery. They now do before and after school/holiday club for nothing 2 days per week. When he was a baby I provided the nappies, cream, formula etc but once he was on solids they provided meals. I think I'm very fortunate but I've never come across anyone who pays that I've been aware of. My friend's parents do 5 days a week for her LO for nothing (so about 50 hours) which I think is a big ask!
fikel · 11/08/2019 21:21
As someone who never had that kind of help. I have met many grandparents in the playground who would confine in me that they did often feel taken for granted and felt put upon. Feeling they couldn’t say no when asked etc
I would answer although it might not be the norm, perhaps it would help them out and you’re doing something for them in return
Camomila · 11/08/2019 21:22
I don't pay anything but agree £50 is really cheap for childcare.
Constantlurker · 11/08/2019 21:23
I think it depends, if it's £50 a week to sit him in front of the TV and eat fish fingers then it's still entirely fair in theory but something I'd find a bit odd. However if it was £50 a week and they were constantly taking him out to places, soft play, farms etc and feeding him out all the time then it's a bargain!
Either way I think it's a reasonable amount to cover basic expenses. Not saying I wouldn't question it as I don't know anyone who's parents have done this when looking after their grandkids, but it's reasonable.
Choice4567 · 11/08/2019 21:23
Is that £50 for all 3 days? I don’t pay my mum as she has said not to, but she only does it sporadically, maybe twice a month. But if she did do that many days and asked for some money I would readily agree as that is so much cheaper than child care
roseapothecary · 11/08/2019 21:23
I paid my mum £200 a month when she did some wrap around care for DS1. My mum would have liked to have been able to do it for free but she needed the money. It still saved me money and I knew he was being well looked after.
AnneLovesGilbert · 11/08/2019 21:24
Nursery is at least £60 a day here so you’re getting a bargain. What have they said it will cover? Are you providing nappies, wipes, milk, food, clothes etc?
Merryoldgoat · 11/08/2019 21:24
No, my PIL and aunt didn’t want any - they’d have been utterly horrified taking money. However I was very clear that as soon as it was no longer convenient I’d get paid care.
They very much offered and asked if they could have DS. Is have been happy to pay them.
DS2 is with a CM 3 times a week which costs nearly £800 a month so £50 a week is certainly cheap. I do think it’s unusual though to pay in this kind of arrangement.
arethereanyleftatall · 11/08/2019 21:24
I did. She didn't ask for it, but it didn't feel right not to.
MeakTiger · 11/08/2019 21:24
I paid my DM and sister £50/day to look after DS when he was younger. He felt too little for nursery and I was happier knowing he was with family.
Another friend pays her parents £50/day too so I don’t think it’s unusual at all.
Redglitter · 11/08/2019 21:25
My parents helped with childcare when my nieces were little. My brother stays about 35 mins away and they had to be at his for 8am. They took the girls out lots but refused to take a penny. They loved having time with their grandchildren and had many (lighthearted) arguments with my brother who felt he should at least cover petrol costs.
My brother & SIL did try and repay in other ways. Taking them.out for meals or my brother doing jobs around their house.
My parents were in the enviable position though of being very comfortable financially so that made a difference to their outlook I imagine
Onceuponacheesecake · 11/08/2019 21:25
I live in a cheap area and nursery is nearly £50 a day here!! I would bite their arm off and I would feel very uncomfortable accepting their help without giving them some money. Meals/snacks, petrol and activities add up quickly. Offering a contribution is definitely normal where I am.
arethereanyleftatall · 11/08/2019 21:26
I've just read the amount! £50 for what 24 hours work!! Does your op mean you think it's too little an amount?
Justbloodystopit · 11/08/2019 21:26
Yep, I pay my mum what she would earn doing cleaning jobs etc if she didn't gave my kids to look after/school runs. I paid her throughout mat leave and will continue to, until she says she doesn't need it anymore. It's probably going to cost me in total over around 15 years about the same as it would have done to pay a full time childminder, plus after school care, plus baby sitting, odd evenings, holiday care etc. I pay her 400 a month, it's a bargain and she fills in for all the times I'm stuck at work unexpectedly. They are fed tea one night a week, lunches when at home, 2 school runs, she buys them toys/clothes out of it too, although I tell her not to!
I certainly wouldn't begrudge it, it's only covering costs really, unless you're going to provide food, nappies, wash all clothes etc?
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