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AIBU?

Do you pay your parents money for childcare?

260 replies

NineteenThirtyOne · 11/08/2019 21:14

Will be going back to work soon 3 days a week after mat leave. Parents have said they will be happy to mind DS but for £50 a week..

AIBU to think this isn't the norm? Confused

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soveryconfused1 · 11/08/2019 21:26

MN is a parallel universe at times!

No way my parents would want hard payment for looking after the kids.

I’d treat them to things they’d never buy for themselves in return and that’s the understanding we have. But no actual cash exchanged.

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NineteenThirtyOne · 11/08/2019 21:26

Just to clarify. I'd be providing everything - milk, nappies, food. Parents offered to mind DS, I didn't ask them. Wouldn't have just assumed they would have him.

On the other hand, DPs mum has said she doesn't agree that my mums asking for money and said she will have him for nothing.

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transformandriseup · 11/08/2019 21:26

Surely the alternative is more expensive?

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BrokenWing · 11/08/2019 21:27

If my parents had looked after ds, they couldn't due to health issues, i would have offered money for out of pocket expenses and/or a treat for themselves before they had to ask. £50 is nothing for 3 days, they are doing you a huge favour..

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lboogy · 11/08/2019 21:27

No I didn't, my parents would never accept the money but £50 a week is nothing. It's basically the cost of sandwiches and coffee a day. YABU to even make an issue of it. You're practically getting free childcare plus expenses

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Anothertempusername · 11/08/2019 21:27

£50 per week. Absolute bargain. Pay the money and stop worrying if it's the norm. £70 per day for me.

🙄

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NineteenThirtyOne · 11/08/2019 21:27

In my group of friends nobody pays their parents money for looking after their child while they work. They wouldn't be having him the full 3 days either.

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Sewfrickinamazeballs · 11/08/2019 21:28

I paid my mum nursery rates. She was out of work and not earning so no other way of my parents helping without the money.

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PotteringAlong · 11/08/2019 21:28

£50 a week is a bargain...

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ItsMsAtomicBobToYou · 11/08/2019 21:28

Pay them. £50 is far less than you'd have to pay a nursery and you know they'll be well looked after. I would find incredibly odd if you didn't pay them, and that you didn't offer.

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Longdistance · 11/08/2019 21:28

3 days a week is a lot to have a toddler. Most people I know have each set of parents have the dc one set day each and then the dc is either with a childminder or in nursery.
£50 is a bargain. I wish I had that option when my dc were small, I paid over £1,500 for two in nursery.

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NineteenThirtyOne · 11/08/2019 21:28

My grandparents pretty much raised me from 12 weeks old whilst my parents worked. Parents never paid them a penny.

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Tensixtysix · 11/08/2019 21:28

Pay it and be grateful that you have such a bargain!

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happytoday73 · 11/08/2019 21:28

I think £50 a week is a great balance... It saves you a fortune and they get some extra money.
Yes some GPs do for free but not all do.

If they are not yet at retirement age I think there is also something on gov website where they can claim credits towards state pension if children are under 12.

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Onceuponacheesecake · 11/08/2019 21:29

3 days a week, every week is a massive commitment though OP. If your MIL wants to do 3 days unpaid work a week then crack on Confused

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PotteringAlong · 11/08/2019 21:29

In my group of friends nobody pays their parents money for looking after their child while they work

Well, in my group of friends we pay for our childcare. My bill is £1100 a month. Want to swap?

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NineteenThirtyOne · 11/08/2019 21:29

I'm not saying that £50 is expensive in the grand scheme of things.. as my mother in law said, the whole point of being in work is that we are better off.

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Pitapotamus · 11/08/2019 21:30

I have offered my parents money in the past but they don’t accept it because they think it’s a privilege to be able to spend time with their grandchildren not a chore and they value that relationship. That said, they aren’t rolling in money so I always make sure they are not left out of pocket. They mostly hang out at home so there aren’t expenses as such but if they have them for a few rainy days and do the cinema or a trip out I always pay for that and if they take them for extended periods of time (say a few days in a row in the holidays) I also try and give them cash to cover food.

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NineteenThirtyOne · 11/08/2019 21:30

I'd be better off not going to work

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NineteenThirtyOne · 11/08/2019 21:31

If this was me I would do it of love and anything to help while parents earned. Would understand if my parents were short of money but really they are not.

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PotteringAlong · 11/08/2019 21:31

the whole point of being in work is that we are better off.

But you ARE better off. £50 a week for 3 days childcare vs £180 a week for nursery. You are far, far better off...

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Mallowmarshmallow · 11/08/2019 21:31

My parents won't accept anything, they've always had ours one day a week and they've been in paid childcare for two more.

I've checked in regularly that it still works for them and am hugely, hugely grateful for their support and the amount of money they've saved us.

They're currently on holiday with us which I've paid for and they've got milestone birthdays coming up which I've bought an expensive trip for.

As I said, I'm enormously grateful for their support and their relationship with our children is very precious to us all. I would have more than happily paid for the pleasure.

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Amanduh · 11/08/2019 21:32

It’s normal for GPs to do ad hoc, helpful childcare for a day very generously or half a day a week etc from people I know or what I would hope for.
You want your parents to permanently look
after your child for three full days a week, presumably they are retired, for £50 a week and you are Confused about it? Really????

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NineteenThirtyOne · 11/08/2019 21:32

@Amanduh No, they offered. I never asked them..

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polkadotpixie · 11/08/2019 21:33

How would you be better off not going to work, surely you'll earn more than £50 in 3 days?

I pay my Mum £50/week to look after my little boy and I am grateful beyond belief! It costs £50/day for nursery and I know my son is being looked after by someone who loves him

If I were you, I'd bite her hand off and thank my lucky stars!

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