AIBU for snapping at my copycat child

[Confusedandworried321]

DS is 3.7 and sometimes copies what feels like everything I do. This morning I was making the baby's bottle, and gave it to him. Cue him doing the same for his baby doll using his toy kitchen. I then go in the shower. He follows me up and goes in the airing cupboard, pretending to shower. It sounds cute, but AIBU to find it absolutely infuriating? He literally copies me as closely as possible so his "baby" hasn't finished his milk until baby DS has. He copies my exact movements in the shower.

I snapped at him in the end this morning and told him to stop copying me.

Is this even normal? He doesn't do it all the time, and DH usually gets it more eg every time he hoovers/mows the lawn, out comes DS' little toy hoovers/lawn mowers and he's a little shadow while the jobs are being done.

He does sound cute....but I can understand why it’s annoying after a while! In the nicest possible way, you probably were unreasonable. But we’re all only human!

I think it's cute. And a bit horrible for snapping at him. He's a child FFS.

It's all a part of learning journey for him, imitating and practising

Do you have any health issues which may have impacted you snapping at him?

I think it’s lovely that he’s playing alongside you like this... far better than sitting in front of a screen.

I feel sorry for you that you find it infuriating. You ought to mask how you’re feeling because snapping at a 3 year old for playing in a lovely imaginative way is horrible. And it is Imaginative because although you see it as being a copy cat, children learn by acting out things alongside their parents, pretending his doll is a baby etc and it will all contribute to him being able to play more independently and creatively in future

That's normal behaviour,it's how they learn.,I wouldn't get upset about it op,it won't be long until he has friends of his own and copying you will be the last thing on his mind,and you'll laugh about this.

Yes, I think you are being unreasonable he is mimicking what you are all doing to feel part of and included in it. He's under four years old he is not stalking you, I fail to see what you find so irritating that you would snap at the poor child.

I think it's gorgeous. Cherish this time because it will soon be gone, never to return.

Children learn through copying and playing.

It's not your child that is abnormal.

Wait till starts copying what you say in a whiny voice, you will look back on this and realise it was funny.

I think yabu really. You can't help it if you find this annoying but its perfectly normal toddler behaviour and a way for him to learn so you should bite your tongue just as you do when you are not holding batman the right way or whatever.

It's lovely and perfectly normal, I thought you were talking about an older child copying and mimicking everything you say to irritate you deliberately. Why would it annoy you if he pretends to have a shower in the cupboard?!

Yabu, he is learning from you and it's lovely he wants to do what you and his daddy do.

It might be frustrating now but it won't be long until he doesn't do this and before you know it he won't want to be anywhere near you as you embarrass him me this morning with d's 10 try and embrace this time, it's your chance to mould him into a lovely human being and you are his world at the moment, you won't be forever...

So you've given your child a baby doll and bottle and toy kitchens/hoovers/lawn mowers etc but don't want him to use them?

The reason they sell these toys is because children learn by mimicking adults, your son is learning by copying and this is 100% normal. Why is it bothering you so much?

Thanks all.

Here's a big drip feed (sorry, now who's being annoying) but I am suffering with anxiety, in particular around DS' behaviour as he has been referred to a paediatrician for some behaviour at play group. It was me who pushed for the referral, as I've been anxious about ASD practically since before he was born (health anxiety) but I worry so much about what he does and whether it's typical. He was developing beautifully as far as I was concerned then play group flagged some behaviour which got me so worried, hence pushing for the referral. It's a long old wait of almost a year and I'm doing my best to just enjoy him, but some time the anxiety wins.

Good to hear it is normal. I'll try and embrace it as him learning.

YABU, it sounds absolutely adorable and you sound like a total misery. He won’t be three forever, eventually he won’t want to be near you at all.

He's trying to involve himself, with the baby's bottle and copying you. He's only little and he's learning by copying, I can appreciate that looking at a baby all day he looks a lot bigger and more grown up, but he's still very little and none of the behaviour you describe is actually negative or wrong.

I can understand that it's irritating, and that you have a new baby to take care of too, so snapping is understandable when you're tired, but honestly, he's just a wee boy trying to be close to his mum and dad and baby sibling.

It's a huge upheaval having a new sibling for a wee one, just as much (if not more) than it is for you. He's trying to work out his place in it all and copying his mum and dad is the only way he knows how.

Do you get a break OP? Even an hour just to stop? Sometimes if you don't ever get a break everything seems irritating and overwhelming.

As said it's a normal development stage. We learn everything by copying.

In the past it would be how we learnt a trade, literally from birth.

It's fantastic that a boy is feeding and learning about childcare and housework.

Personally I'd make child development a priority during pregnancy, again i meet loads of parents who don't have a clue on how to help their children develop. We used to get a child development book alongside a pregnancy/birth book.

Children learn through imitation.

Give him a hug and have a lovely day!

If you're snapping at your child because of anxiety go and get treatment.

Especially if there, is SN. It just isn't fair on him.

The time honoured 'thread isn't on my side so I'll pull out the anxiety card'; every bloody time!
Hes not even bothering you to join in with his copying, he is just doing these things at the same time as you. When he goes to nursery and school this behaviour will be assessed as an area of learning and he will score highly for it. Sort yourself the fuck out and leave your son alone!

YABU for saying he’s 3.7 🙄

You worried before birth he’d have ASD and have now pushed for assessment?
I think YOU need help, poor wee boy.

Wonderful and normal behaviour. He needs to learn about his world and normal activities. Otherwise, he would be sat in front of a screen

Poor little lad.

If you're snapping at your child because of anxiety go and get treatment

Indeed, poor little sod. This is all about you, he's doing nothing wrong other than copy the people who are his whole universe.

ASD isn't the end of the world either. Please go and get your anxiety sorted out.