AIBU for snapping at my copycat child

[Confusedandworried321]

DS is 3.7 and sometimes copies what feels like everything I do. This morning I was making the baby's bottle, and gave it to him. Cue him doing the same for his baby doll using his toy kitchen. I then go in the shower. He follows me up and goes in the airing cupboard, pretending to shower. It sounds cute, but AIBU to find it absolutely infuriating? He literally copies me as closely as possible so his "baby" hasn't finished his milk until baby DS has. He copies my exact movements in the shower.

I snapped at him in the end this morning and told him to stop copying me.

Is this even normal? He doesn't do it all the time, and DH usually gets it more eg every time he hoovers/mows the lawn, out comes DS' little toy hoovers/lawn mowers and he's a little shadow while the jobs are being done.

Well I hope the delightful posters who flamed the OP in the early stages of this thread slept soundly knowing they’d put a bad mother in her place. What an embarrassment. MN at its worst.

OP, FWIW I know what it’s like to have ASD constantly at the back of your mind, flip flopping between thinking yes they are and no they’re not, trying to figure out if XYZ behaviour is a trait or “normal”. My son was eventually put on the waiting list for an assessment back in Feb, and I’m certain he will get a diagnosis. It’s been a hard road but I’ve made my peace with it all... although I try very hard not to look too far into the future and any struggles he’ll face as he gets older

And the copying behaviour you describe would annoy me too. Of course you shouldn’t have snapped, but we’re all human and we do snap.

This thread makes me feel sick. Poor OP - no you are not unreasonable to be a human who has emotional responses.

My emotional response to these comments is to want to throw all of Mumsnet in the bin. Atrocious BULLYING.

Aww your DS sounds absolutely adorable OP. I can understand though that I might find it endearing because I'm only reading about it whereas you are actually living with it and it's bound to get irritating if it's constant. I don't have an answer but would just advise to just ignore it as much as you can and try to think of the positives eg at least you know where your wee poppet is at all times, and I'm sure it won't be long before he's wanting to do his own thing, which will probably be the exact opposite of what you're doing/wanting him to do and you'll look back on these times and wish for them all over again.

My DS was a lot like that. Copied us all the time. He often preferred to play on his own at nursery. And at 3 he was obsessed with cars. Lining them all up bumper to bumper and would get enraged if anyone messed with his little system. He was also slow to walk at 17mo but when he did it was steady and sure from the first step. He potty trained in less than three days being dry both day and night. He can go through obsessions of things for months then not bother with those toys/songs/ games ever again. He's not got any ASD or SN, and is excelling at school and socially at 7.

So try not to worry or to look for every sign. Get him on the pathway to get assessed for your own reassurance but much of what you've said indicates that it's just typical childhood development and if there is any sort of SN there then it's likely to be something very manageable.

Thank you NewFoneWhoDis that's really useful to know.

azulmariposa

You need to see your GP and get some treatment sorted out ASAP.
Your anxieties are affecting your relationship with your child. That's not on.

She did and was prescribed medication for the anxiety, which she won't take.

Thanks for that Weezol. I'm not the only person who's nervous about taking medication. What actually put me off was finding a thread on here about Sertraline!

Most days (and I'm talking 95% + of the time) I'm handling everything very well, bearing in mind I have a 3 year old and a small baby, which isn't easy in itself.

It’s very typical of children to copy, you don’t really sound cut out to be a parent.

I used to encourage DS to do this. I bought him a little hoover, pushchair and doll so we could do jobs together. I found it adorable.
It's not annoying to me...But other things are like the constant:
"Mummy?"
"Yes?"
"Mummy..."
"Yes?"
"Er, mummy?"
And never actually saying anything else. That drives me nuts.
So, YABU but we are all U sometimes. Especially when tired.

Tomorrow will be a better day. He may be just copying it may be ASD.
I think as a DM you know when something isn't right, give him a big squeeze hug tomorrow take a deep breath.
If it is any consolation my DS aged 4 drives me up the wall some days.

Did your DS copy you again and snap back at you?
His reaction to yours in this case would be telling

It’s very typical of children to copy, you don’t really sound cut out to be a parent.

Oooft.

Is this how you usually present yourself as a decent human being? ....it's not working.

Righteoussista why would it be telling? No he didn't snap back at me (although sometimes he gives me sass when I tell him off!).

I do notice how my mood rubs off on him though

@Confusedandworried321 You're getting an unnecessary hard time on this thread.
I believe you there is something off with your child, A mother knows early one.
I think if you hadn't of mentioned snappy it would have went better.
Anyway your post of steraline popped out at me, I've been on many many ADs, I've seen lots of post of steraline.
It usually has lots of positive stories. I feel the best and most balanced in years since I take it daily.
The first fortnight is difficult, once you adjust to it, it's all good.

I found sertraline very helpful op..only noticeable side effects were night sweats.

It’s very typical of children to copy, you don’t really sound cut out to be a parent
Horrible nasty comment.
OP is struggling, would you prefer she didn't ask for help, or took your advice and killed herself or her DC.
FFS.

@EmeraldShamrock OP is struggling, would you prefer she didn't ask for help, or took your advice and killed herself or her DC

It’s a massive jump from my comment to yours about the OP killing herself or her DC! I think you need help, psychologically! Why would you even say that?