To think that parenthood gets harder as time goes on

[DannyWallace]

Ok, so my first is only 6 months old, and this is semi light hearted, but am I the only one who thinks this bit is waaaaay harder than the newborn bit....and I can only see it getting harder!

Everyone told me about the newborn stage. I was prepared for the cluster feeds, I batch cooked and I had my husband at home. Yes I was sleep deprived but every morning I was up and showered and feeling half decent. Even when my husband when back to work my baby would basically feed then sleep....ok it was constant but those wee sleeps got me through.

Now I have a baby who is sooo close to crawling. She's moving all over the place. She's massively fighting sleep so getting her to nap isn't easy. And she often wakes in the middle of the night (so I wouldn't say I'm getting more sleep). She notices when I leave the room and shouts for me until I'm back, so I even have to rush a pee 😂. She rarely cries to be honest (really only when she needs to sleep but won't 🙈).
It's so hard to find time to have a shower, cook a meal, walk the dogs etc, but everyone seems to think that because we're past the newborn stage I should be a bit more organised. Luckily my DH is great, but he works long hours. We're a forces family so no family close by.

AIBU to think that this bit is way harder than the newborn bit.
I absolutely adore being a mum, and I know that I definitely have it easier than many others, but my friend is visiting just now and I'm so happy as it means I can shower every morning 😂😂.

Just wait till she’s a teenager.
I get less sleep now than when they were babies.

Newborns are easy peasy. It's all downhill after that! Wait till you hit the teenage years

I have a seven year old with additional needs and I’m still exhausted. Was easier when he was a baby and toddler

Ha ha I was about to say the same!
Babies, toddler, children- great fun!
Teenagers- fucking hard work!!

I found the second six months much harder than the first. But the second year much more fun than the first. So hang in there. I think we all find different stages harder than others.

Haha yup I keep hearing this.
The toddler years.
The teenage years.

Man I can't wait....but I can't figure out how the newborn bit is considered the exhausting bit 😂😂

As the parents of teens I totally agree. I loved having small children. This is so so hard.

My 6 year old is lovely and very easy (we went through 18months to age 3 of her being a handful)

My 17mo is Satan 😈 since day 1! I think it just depends on the child, but Satan was a lot easier to handle when she couldn't walk 😁

@Twolittlespeckledfrogs actually that's what I've said a lot. While I'm much more exhausted, this bit is so fun and she's really playing and trying to communicate.
While it gets harder I bet as the years go on it'll keep being so fun ❤️

I hated the newborn stage which is why DD is an only, no way I’m putting myself through that again.
She’s 9 now and I think it gets easier every year ( ask me again after her teens though).

I was just going to say I feel the same about my teenager too, that's a minefield I'm currently struggling with. I can't decide if it's really hard or just that the few years before they are teens are pretty easy so when the teens come it just hits you that bit harder because you've been having it easy or if actually it's just a hard time for everyone. Who knows! And mine isn't even that bad, I look at some of her friends and think "I'd be on the gin for breakfast if you were mine"

Not everything gets harder. Its physically far less demanding with a 9 and 11 year old and i currently get far more sleep.
Its emotionally tougher though - keeping them safe whilst letting go. And controversially its less rewarding. There are less pudgy open armed cuddles and being delighted to see me.

I think it depends on the child.
My first was the most difficult baby ever, really high needs. Pretty much didn't sleep for 10 months and screamed non-stop until they were 1.

They're 3 now and every day I'm grateful to be out of the newborn days, it's so so so much easier now.

I know as they get older there will be challenges again but I can't see how, for us at least, anything can be worse than the baby days!

Yep. You're learning fast, OP.
You need a jumperoo at this stage. It'll buy you a little bit of time to do a load of laundry, make a cup of tea, take a dump, whatever!

When they walk, the jig is up!
Ages 9-13 is a weird time. Some of the 'magic' gets a bit lost as hormones come to the fore, but I have to say, I've loved the late teens, from like 15 years old onward, it's been amazing! It's all beautiful. It really is. And you don't really miss the baby stage as much as you think you will.
It's from the ages of 4-6 that you'll always miss. 4-6 is just the absolute best. It's heartbreakingly beautiful.
That's the only time I tear up when I look back at photos. When I see the baby photos, I just remember how tired I was. But when I see photos of the kids at like 4, 5,6, and 7, my heart goes all soft and nostalgic. Beautiful stuff.

I also hate seeing comments like a PP said 'newborns are easy peasy'.

I don't know anyone who thought having a newborn was 'easy peasy'. Yes, lots who found it easier than toddler years or older but it's hardly a walk in the park. And I think blanket statements like that only serve to make anyone with a difficult baby (or PND etc) feel like total shit.

Ooh I disagree. First 6 months was definitely the hardest. He's 2yo now and nothing has come close to that shit storm! Obviously school/teenage years to come so bracing for that!!

The newborn stage is exhausting in its own way but it’s probably the easiest a child will ever be . Once they become mobile they need watching like a hawk until they reach an age where they understand danger. There are difficulties at every age I’d say, teenagers are a nightmare.

I found the newborn stage the hardest so it’s been better with time for me but the challenges change with time, even with older children it’s physically easier but mentally and emotionally harder I find.
At 6 months my DD would sit in her pram or lie in her cot with toys for me to take a quick shower. She’s 2 now and I’m still taking quick showers while she plays in the hallway. I look forward to uninterrupted showers at the weekends!

My DC are aged 9 to 13. They're much easier now when they were 6 months! For me the hardest age so far has been 18m to 2y.

Teenagers

Have a house of them and come back.

I found Newborn stage a doddle really. It was after movement started I found it so much harder and you need to be physically fit as well

I would say the hardest bits so far have been age 1yr - 2.5yrs (peak toddler years!) for both of mine.
And I’m expecting the worst from teenage years. I’m pretty terrified!
Newborns, babies and children are easy.

I think maybe I was so ready for having pretty much no sleep that I felt ok 😂😂. Every time I managed to sleep for an hour or so I called it a win. And I had a freezer stocked full of healthy meals and had so much help.

I guess now, while it's probably NOT actually harder, it's just what's expected of me is different.

Each stage has its own difficulties and I definitely didn't mean to cause any upset by saying the newborn stage isn't difficult. Like PP said, different stages are harder for different people.

I really dont think generalisations are helpful, especially things like 'newborns are easy peasy'. Yours may have been. Mine wasnt!

OP I found this stage tough too. Once mine crawled I found it easier, he was less bothered about me going out of the room to wee/hide.

What I have realised is that every stage is very quick. Even though it feels like a lifetime. So I've tried to remember that each hard bit will stop - it might be replaced by something else but it might not. Also the lovely bits go quickly and are always replaced by something else

Yes I think newborns are relatively easy (obviously there are exceptions and my second did seem to cry most of the first three months). Toddlers are hard because you have to watch them like a hawk as they can get into everything, climb etc but don’t understand danger... but are also beginning to verbalise there displeasure and of course potty training (not too bad). Then they really start developing a mind of their own and are no longer quite so biddable. Then there’s kinda a honeymoon phase when they are at school, still think you are a goddess and are quite chatty and good company. Then preteens when they start getting a bit grumpy, friendships can get a bit intense or some issues at school, you are a taxi service for sports and other activities; then teens when hormones, sex drugs and rock ‘n roll (or girlfriends, beer and festivals)! Then they scare the life out of you by learning to drive a scooter or car...
Mine are both teenagers and yes emotionally very hard but also seeing them become wonderful young adults has been a lot better than anticipated.
Once heard that you don’t know what worry is until you become a parent. And you take it day by day and then suddenly your baby is taller than you and about to take off for the great unknown!