To think that parenthood gets harder as time goes on

[DannyWallace]

Ok, so my first is only 6 months old, and this is semi light hearted, but am I the only one who thinks this bit is waaaaay harder than the newborn bit....and I can only see it getting harder!

Everyone told me about the newborn stage. I was prepared for the cluster feeds, I batch cooked and I had my husband at home. Yes I was sleep deprived but every morning I was up and showered and feeling half decent. Even when my husband when back to work my baby would basically feed then sleep....ok it was constant but those wee sleeps got me through.

Now I have a baby who is sooo close to crawling. She's moving all over the place. She's massively fighting sleep so getting her to nap isn't easy. And she often wakes in the middle of the night (so I wouldn't say I'm getting more sleep). She notices when I leave the room and shouts for me until I'm back, so I even have to rush a pee 😂. She rarely cries to be honest (really only when she needs to sleep but won't 🙈).
It's so hard to find time to have a shower, cook a meal, walk the dogs etc, but everyone seems to think that because we're past the newborn stage I should be a bit more organised. Luckily my DH is great, but he works long hours. We're a forces family so no family close by.

AIBU to think that this bit is way harder than the newborn bit.
I absolutely adore being a mum, and I know that I definitely have it easier than many others, but my friend is visiting just now and I'm so happy as it means I can shower every morning 😂😂.

Yep.
Mine are 12 and 10.
I'm get far less sleep than I did when they were small. No naps or 7pm bedtimes. I'm still being asked questions after 10pm.

Newborns are hard because you’ve just been through the birth.

We had colic (dairy allergy), and non stop screaming until she could confidently walk at about 11 months. Shes 13 months now.

It’s great now though but still really hard.

She was a difficult baby but is so advanced compared to others her age which is amazing to see and honestly tantrums just can’t phase me after what we’ve been through.

I think the first year is hard and I feel like I can take anything she throws at us now.

People also forget the challenges of the early stages. I have 4 aged between 0-7 so while I don't have any wisdom about teenagers, I can confirm that colicky newborn was the hardest period of all for me. My school age kids do bring extra challenges in terms of balancing work, attending events, doing homework and managing friendship fallouts - but you still don't need to be physically there every second like I do with my crawler.

My sister's fond of telling us all how teenagers are the hardest ever, but she just went away for a week with her DH while her three teens stayed with their grandparents, which sounds amazing to me!

So anyway - I think all ages have their challenges, and while the later ones may be more emotionally demanding, they're also not physically demanding and non stop the way that little ones can be.

@TequilaMockingbird0 in my opinion they are.
I have 5 children, my youngest is almost 3 and by the far the hardest child I've had. She didn't sleep through until she was 20 months old,She terrorises me everyday and has no sense of danger and I've probably aged 10 years since the day she was born. But I also have 5 year old and 3 teenagers 14/16/17 and let me tell you.. I'd rather replay these last 3 years with my youngest 100x over than have to deal with 3 hormonal teenagers and the worry and stress that comes with them. So yep the 5 newborn stages were easy peasy compared to the hell that is teenagers. And I've suffered PND 3 times.

I think part of the issue is that there is heaps of material about life with a newborn, sleep issues etc, and when you’re pregnant with your first you have plenty of time to read, think etc. Then from about 6 months in it all changes and changes again, except this time you have no time to read anything and start winging it, just as the issues start to get more complex (social interactions, eating food, language). See also: clothes. My newborn wore beautiful pristine rompers with matching hat, my two year old gets whatever is top of the pile of hand me downs.

I found the toddler and pre school years the hardest. Although I had small age can of 2 an half years, so newborn and toddler. with dc2 not sleeping properly until 4. I was exhausted. I don't function well on years of broken sleep.

Teenage years in contrast for me, are great they are proper people who are lots of fun.

Everyone is different and find different stages more challenging then others.

I found the first 3.5 years excruciating at times. Every stage was very challenging, frustrated, high energy, into everything, massive tantrums.....the works.

Now at 4.5 they are mostly an absolute pleasure. Hopefully it will last a good while yet.

Mine are all older and the transition to young adult is by far the hardest - when they go out and you don't really know where they are, exam results, finding a job, relationships... more mentally hard than physically!

Every stage is hard. When they are little it is physically demanding and relentless and you have no time for yourself. When they are older it becomes emotionally demanding( dd just split with fiancé and wedding has to be cancelled) but you start getting your life back and can have more freedom. I found the younger years harder and more boring. The pre-teens were a pain, the teens actually were ok and its fun watching them become adults and have proper conversations and become independent.

Children are the greatest gift ever
Then they get to the teenage years.
OMG.what happened to those lovely years , chats ?.
Girls are by far the worst.
So enjoy while you can.

4-5 years has been my favourite/easiest bit so far.Ds is 5.5

I thought the baby years would kill me. I was certain that my toddlers would find a way to kill themselves. Primary school seemed to be one long whinge (and still is for the younger ones). However, my teenagers are an absolute joy.
It's amazing to me to look at these almost fully grown people and realise that not only am I immensely proud of them, but we actually like each other and enjoy each others company. Obviously there are problems, but at least by that stage you can talk to them. And the one good thing about teenagers which they have in common with babies is that they both love a long nap!

I absolutely love the newborn days. I have a toddler and this is hard.

I have a toddler and a teenager.
I feel like I can reason with the toddler but not with the teenager!
My fave age is probably between 4-8 years when they just go along with stuff and don't really question it.
Hardest time is 18 months - 3 years
And 13/14 years.
I'm not beyond 14 yet 😬

I disagree about the teen years but my teens are fairly easy. The social stuff with Dd can be tricky now i guess but nothing like the hell of the toddler years! After that it gets easier and easier IMO!

I found babies relatively easy, milk and/or a nap solved most problems.

My eldest is 19 and I've found 14-now with her incredibly difficult at times. Not always knowing where she is, hoping she's safe, not being able to comfort her as easily as I could when she was little.
It's been great in other ways, she is funny and I love hearing her opinions on things. I'm really going to miss her when she goes to university.

On the other hand DC2 is 15 and so far is just lolloping through his teens without much stress or hassle.

I think that some people who say that the teenage years are the hardest have forgotten what the early years were like. When you look back on it, the newborn stage seems so easy. However, for a lot of women, through having a difficult birth and/or suffering from PND, the newborn stage is utterly exhausting. Add to that trying to come to terms with the massive change in your life that a baby brings, lack of family support (for some) and people constantly stating how happy you must feel when you are possibly at your lowest ebb. The teenage years are hard, but, in my opinion, easier to deal with than these first few months. Different for everyone though. Every stage has it's challenges.

I found newborn stage very easy, i think 8-12 months ish was a bit of a pain for us while she wanted to crawl, but now finding the toddler stage easy, she just goes off and does her thing, easy little thing

Mine are in their 40s............................!

Mine are all older and the transition to young adult is by far the hardest - when they go out and you don't really know where they are, exam results, finding a job, relationships... more mentally hard than physically

The early years are hard but I agree with this^, worry is the hardest

Every stage is hard in a different way. It’s not helpful to say ‘oh newborns are easy’ well some are. My DD was a dream newborn. Fed, slept through approx 6 weeks old, barely ever cried. Then she was quite lazy as she was bigger - she could crawl/walk but would sit content playing with toys. Easy. My son though. Oh wow. Not easy! Feeding problems as a newborn, colic, did not sleep through til 1yo, always on the go - once he could roll over at about 4months he would roll everywhere. Before that he would cry in anger and frustration that he couldn’t move. I’ve never met a baby who hated being a baby so much, my poor boy! Toddler years were up and down with both - my DD probably had tantrums 2/3 times and that was it.

Age 5&3 they’re generally easy BUT I know that sometimes it’s hard and I know when I’m finding it easy that it’s not their age, it’s luck of their personalities really so someone else might find this age super hard to deal with.

Also I think the teenage years are on the hard side for everyone but you expect it and some teenagers are boring like I was, studious and scared of being in trouble 😂 although I was a right mouthy little shit to my parents at times but my mum has said she enjoyed my teenage years and found it easy.

I’ve lost my train of thought 😂 anyway generalisations are not helpful. Kids develop and change. It doesn’t always get harder and harder. And I HATE when people say newborns are a doddle. As I said before not all of them are

However, for a lot of women, through having a difficult birth and/or suffering from PND, the newborn stage is utterly exhausting. Add to that trying to come to terms with the massive change in your life that a baby brings, lack of family support (for some) and people constantly stating how happy you must feel when you are possibly at your lowest ebb.

^^^ 100%

I think it just gets harder with age, as your title suggests. The smaller they are the more control you have. As they get older they start asking questions, they do things without you, they have more outside influences that you can't control, and they start forming their own world view, and you are no longer the law of the land. You gradually become something to rebel against, and the bigger they are the more resource and force they have to rebel with. And everything gets more complicated. You start thinking - if I'm too soft on them I'll spoil them, I must prepare them for the real world! Oh but what if I'm being too harsh? Will they leave at 18 and never speak to me again? Where do you draw the line? Am I being a a soppy sook or am I being mean and harsh?

At least once they're proper adults and have moved out, you worry about them in a less constant way. But you still worry...

I think it varies wildly. The second 6 months were so much more interesting with mine, and I was back working too, so I found it easier and more fun. I found 4 very hard, DD2 was tricky at 9, both had a difficult time at about 13 but that was bullying related. For the most part their teenage years were way easier than the baby stage.

Each bit has aspects that are better and worse. DS is only 2 but the worst bit for me was the crawling phase. He needed constant watching and was always trying to pull himself up. Now that he has been walking for a while and can safely get himself up and down from chairs he is much easier.

It's nice now to be able to go out without the tank of a pram and enormous changing bag. We have a lightweight buggy, and i just shove a nappy and half pack of wipes in my normal handbag. Downside is that he now hates shops apart from supermarkets, but it's a good excuse for me to go shopping by myself while he stays at home with DH!