To think that parenthood gets harder as time goes on

[DannyWallace]

Ok, so my first is only 6 months old, and this is semi light hearted, but am I the only one who thinks this bit is waaaaay harder than the newborn bit....and I can only see it getting harder!

Everyone told me about the newborn stage. I was prepared for the cluster feeds, I batch cooked and I had my husband at home. Yes I was sleep deprived but every morning I was up and showered and feeling half decent. Even when my husband when back to work my baby would basically feed then sleep....ok it was constant but those wee sleeps got me through.

Now I have a baby who is sooo close to crawling. She's moving all over the place. She's massively fighting sleep so getting her to nap isn't easy. And she often wakes in the middle of the night (so I wouldn't say I'm getting more sleep). She notices when I leave the room and shouts for me until I'm back, so I even have to rush a pee 😂. She rarely cries to be honest (really only when she needs to sleep but won't 🙈).
It's so hard to find time to have a shower, cook a meal, walk the dogs etc, but everyone seems to think that because we're past the newborn stage I should be a bit more organised. Luckily my DH is great, but he works long hours. We're a forces family so no family close by.

AIBU to think that this bit is way harder than the newborn bit.
I absolutely adore being a mum, and I know that I definitely have it easier than many others, but my friend is visiting just now and I'm so happy as it means I can shower every morning 😂😂.

I started to struggle when baby started moving. I was assuming I got the hang of it all but soon realized how naive I am.

Now I’m finding running after a toddler and dealing with tantrums even harder.

I think it’s gonna keep only getting harder

I find the teenage years hardest.

I think the baby and toddler stage is hard work as you have to give 24/7 supervision but they do go to bed and give you a proper evening rest (well, mine did). Now they’re older I’ve got people being active in the house long into the evening.

Mid childhood is fairly easy. Teenagers are needy and noisy and annoying lol and want lifts when you want to be asleep!

Reading all this about teenagers, I am waiting for the other shoe to drop!

Dd1 (almost 16), has a good social life with a nice little set of friends. I remember myself at that age, drinking at parties and lying to my parents, so was prepared for that, but so far she is an angel- to the point where I feel maybe she should be rebelling more! She does all the washing (gets paid for it), bakes and knits, and will always help you with anything. She is so cheerful we call her Pollyanna! She just got all As in her Nat 5 exams, and to celebrate is going ice-skating with her friends tonight. She was, however, a demon toddler!

dd2 is 14. She does have the teenage angst, but is still fun! She is lazy, doesn't help out as much as I would like, has all sorts of issues with her "friends", which we talk about at length. We do a sport together, and have similar taste in music / TV programmes.

ds is 12. I think I remember what he looks like. Periodically he comes out of his room to forage for food (empty the fridge/ cupboards). We know he is alive because we hear him laughing maniacally into his headset. All attempts to limit his screen time are met with resigned despair until he can get hooked up to The Matrix again.

I think what I like as they get older is that I can try to help with their problems, but I don't feel as responsible for sorting them out. For example, I can't go out and make friends for dd2, but I can listen to her woes, and facilitate outings etc with potential new friends. I couldn't sit dd1's exams for her, but I could support her through studying and encourage her when she was worried. As I can barely get 3 words out of ds these days, all I can do for him is make sure the wifi stays working!

I know I will still want to "help" them as they get older, but it won't be up to me to solve their problems. Of course I will be there to support them, but I have always encouraged independence in them.

I have a 5yo DD and a 13mo DS. It's really, really hard! DD is going through a stroppy stage and DS is clingy and frustrated with life in general. The summer holidays are a struggle this year!

I thought it was so tough when DD was a newborn, and it was but in a different way. Then she was an angelic toddler. DS was a dream newborn/small baby in comparison but he's now a total fucking demon who's currently into ripping my glasses off and slapping my face (and whinging when I dare to stop him!). I love them both endlessly but they're hard work at the moment.

The teenage difficulty is not about stroppy rebellious stereotypical teens. It’s because the world is actually a pretty tough place for young adults now - the pressure they are under is immense, add in health issues, relationship problems, school fuck ups, poverty or any of the other mishaps that crop up in life and you soon have the perfect storm with no support. Once they are over 18 (or 16 if you’re dealing with the NHS) you have no control over what happens and very little influence or access to information. Even if the adult in question is desperate for help - you can’t fix it.

If only it was just teenage strops & a bit of drunken puking.

I feel the same as a PP. I am here to support not do. I can’t make a 16yo pass their exams or choose their friends, they are also responsible for themselves not just only me. Mine know their bad choices belong to them too.

I really think it’s down to you and your child. Mine is 19 months and I love it. The first 12 months were pretty hard going for various reasons: 2 hour sleep cycle (he didn’t sleep longer than 2 hours until he was about 13 months); reflux; basically only wanted mummy; couldn’t leave him to play etc etc. He walked earlyish at 10 months and things started to get a bit better from then. I think his entire babyhood he just wanted to be moving. I was on the fence about siblings but we’re stopping with one, because if I get another like him I think it would actually break me.

My Mum said to me that parenting teens is like getting made redundant as a parent on a weekly basis, in that you constantly have to rethink strategies. I think I am more suited to teen than new born stage. God, the whole idea of going back to that stage makes me feel a bit ill.

I think I have enjoyed each stage apart from the toddler years as I found it really relentless and boring. I don't think it's helpful to generalise however as yours and your child's personality plays a huge part. Like a pp I think I am more suited to the teenage stage.
Also my teens tend towards being anxious and not thrill seekers which obviously makes it a lot less worrying, but don't know how that will impact them as adults.

I have a nearly 2 year old and I would say that the first year of her life was just traumatic. Not because of anything in particular but I just found it so difficult. After she turned one I found it better, it is still hard at times but generally is ok. She is more fun now! Babies are hard work and no fun. I'm sure the teenage years will also be hard but each stage is a different kind of hard and a different kind of good (except the baby stage; traumatic AF). Hang on in there!

I find newborns so easy. 1 year olds can be exhausting. Currently have two teens and they are such hard work. I find parenting teens much harder work (and less rewarding) then patenting little ones

In a word yes . You never stop worrying about your kids regardless of their age.

I currently have 3 teens 18, 16 and 13 and finding it great with no major problems with any of them. So don't let everyone tell you teens are a nightmare.

I personally don’t think they do, it’s just another phase of parenthood.

Tiredness, challenging, emotional, physical exhaustion, intellectual boredom starts from the moment they are born.

I also have a teen and pre-teen

They are honestly good children, but they take every once if my energy.

Hell yes! 5 DC, 2 of whom are teenage girls. F. M. L.

Depends on the baby! Mine was harder as a newborn than he has been as a toddler...

It just the stages of parenting, newborn pretty scary they are so teeny tiny but when you put them down they stay in one place, crawling-toddler I alot of saying no and trying to catch them but they are still pretty darn cute, new to school start becoming little people (independently of you) nice to watch but a little heart wrenching, from about 7-12 I probably would say is the sweet spot still young enough to need you but the parenting is switching from physical to mental, teenage years are quite stressful making there way to adulthood, more freedom, you have less control over who and how they socialise, they experience heartbreak and you can't do anything about it........they you get to sit and and marvel and the person you created. All stages are equally brilliant and awful in equal measure (except for potty training it is traumatic) but I would do it all over again x

I found the whole baby to toddler stage difficult. And I never got a baby who slept well during the newborn stage either, so no reprieve then either.

I think babies and toddlers are all so different. Some are easier at different times and some only become easier when they grow older.

I found after 1 year easier to manage. I love the 4 year+ ages. Haven't had teenagers yet though hopefully I will enjoy them too.

It's disappointing when you find parenthood doesn't match your expectations.