Daughter wants to take my new tent to festival

[givemestrength123]

DD18 wants to take my new tent - unused to a festival for her friends for 5 days before I have used it to take my younger children away in holiday. She has her own tent but is 'not big enough', mine is. I have said she can take it but I will have to buy a new one as she can't guarantee it won't be trashed. She comes back on Monday we are camping on Wednesday. She has said she will replace the tent if gets ruined but has now asked me to buy food for her festival as she can't afford it.
Since she got paid at the end of the month she's bought 5/ 6 new tops, bags, trousers, shorts for the festivals.

I don't want to go camping with children in a tent which has been slept in for 5 days by random teenagers doing god alone knows what.

I have said she can take the tent but I can't buy the food as I will have to buy another tent. Or she takes her tent back that she's loaned out and I buy the food.

She's now loudly sobbing in her room texting me she can't go now because I won't buy her food.

I have just had a text she's going to clear the cupboards at home to take.

Erm, nope. YANBU and don’t let her take the bloody nice tent!

She has her own text. No way I'd let her take the nice new one.

Tell her to go and get refunds for the clothes and buy her own bloody food.

She has just learnt her first lesson on how to budget sensibly!

No way would I be letting her take your tent btw. YADNBU.

No do not let her take your new tent. It will be ruined. She can take her small one - it is big enough for her - and her friends can sort themselves out. As for money....what did she expect to use? Does she work? If so maybe give her a loan and take the repayments immediately she gets paid over the next few months. She needs to learn she can't commit your stuff that you have worked hard for to others, and if she wants to go away she should budget accordingly.

She sound so spoilt and entitled. Some 18 year old’s fend for themselves and buy their own food. She needs to get a grip, take her own tent and buy her own food too.

No she doesn’t take the new tent. Tell her to get stuffed. I wouldn’t be buying food either. Is she usually so entitled?!

Why have you agreed to her taking the tent?

Woman up! She can’t afford it = she doesn’t go!

Withdraw the offer of the tent. V unfair on your other DC.

has she been to a festival before OP?

If not, I doubt she realises just how far she will have to carry this big heavy tent that most likely will not make it back to you & she will have spent all available money at the festival on festival type fun therefore unable to replace said tent

WTF?! She needs to woman up and take some responsibility for budgeting.

And I’d not be letting her take my new tent to get trashed

? What?
Do you not feed your DD18 when she is at home? Why does she have to buy her own food? My 18yr old just finished A levels, still lives at home, has two jobs but I still bloody well feed her. If she were going camping, I’d give her money to buy food. That is just parental responsibility. You feed your kids.

In addition, tents are washable. It is highly unlikely it will be ruined in 5 days camping unless you bought a cheap ass tent. I’d let her take the tent so long as she’s cleans it when she gets back. She’s already promised to replace it if it gets completely trashed in some freak accident. I get it’s a new tent and you want that new tent smell...but really? Tents are meant to be used and re-used. You are silly to think you will have to buy another new tent because this one will have been slept in for a mere 5 days by a few kids.

She can get her own tent - they are so cheap!

Tents aren't washable-you might be able to clean them, but if you wash them you'll lose the waterproofing.

How is she saying she’ll replace it within 48 hours if it’s trashed if she can’t afford food?

I wouldn't lend her the tent or buy her food, and I'm pretty soft. She should have spent her money more wisely. 🤷🏻‍♀️

18 years old at her first festival? Speaking from experience - kiss goodbye to the tent. You can maybe account for your daughters behaviour but you can’t for the group of teenagers!

Why did you say she could take the tent? Say no! I've had experience of having tents ruined after lending them - rips, cigarette burns in groundsheets, mud everywhere... Just don't do it. She has a tent already she can use!

As for the food - it won't hurt for her to take some basic supplies from home, surely she won't want to carry much anyway?

Reading festival? Not a fucking chance would she be taking a nice tent 😂 she sounds like bit of a brat, op.

Why are you letting her walk all over you like this?

Tent- no
Food- I’ll help you a bit

Jesus Christ she’s behaving so badly!

This is the most mundane mumsnet thread I've read in a while.

A tent used for 5 days will need to be cleaned and aired before reuse. The turnover time is just too tight.

She and her friends should pool their money and buy a cheap tent.

When my DS went to his first festival last year, I bought him some food basics - cereal variety packs, crisps, granola bars & pot noodles mainly - but he had to top it up himself.

He doesn't get much pocket money from us and still lives at home.

No way I would be letting him take a brand new tent though.

I wouldn’t let her take the tent but surely you buy food for her?

The tent will almost certainly be damaged by dragging across a field. The other users won't be respecting it. She will only have a couple of days to replace it and no money to pay for it.
Time she learned some responsibility.