Daughter wants to take my new tent to festival

[givemestrength123]

DD18 wants to take my new tent - unused to a festival for her friends for 5 days before I have used it to take my younger children away in holiday. She has her own tent but is 'not big enough', mine is. I have said she can take it but I will have to buy a new one as she can't guarantee it won't be trashed. She comes back on Monday we are camping on Wednesday. She has said she will replace the tent if gets ruined but has now asked me to buy food for her festival as she can't afford it.
Since she got paid at the end of the month she's bought 5/ 6 new tops, bags, trousers, shorts for the festivals.

I don't want to go camping with children in a tent which has been slept in for 5 days by random teenagers doing god alone knows what.

I have said she can take the tent but I can't buy the food as I will have to buy another tent. Or she takes her tent back that she's loaned out and I buy the food.

She's now loudly sobbing in her room texting me she can't go now because I won't buy her food.

I have just had a text she's going to clear the cupboards at home to take.

I took a tent from venture scouts to Reading festival many years ago & it was fine.....
However I agree with everyone else - she can take her smaller tent & the others can sort themselves out. Perhaps they can get a gazebo to go in the middle to make it more sociable? They have some small carry size ones at Aldi for £30 in the sale.
Then buy her some basic food to take - tins of beans and so on.
I don't think it's fair on your other child to have to spend their holiday in a tent that has had 5 teenagers in messing about. It could rain and it'll get wrecked.

Lock the bloody cupboards! Goodness, she is a CF

Why is her tent 'not big enough', I'd tell her she can take her old tent and you'll help with the food. If some of her friend's need extra space they can buy their own tents.

Very limited food items she can take to a festival anyway with no fridge and no way of cooking so I'd buy her some pringles, chocolate, cereal bars and some bread rolls with some plastic cheese.

Then i'd suggest she chips in with her friends and they get a tent. There is no way she will be getting up early Tuesday and putting up a tent, cleaning it, airing out for the day and packing it away for you before Wednesday, she is going to be tired and too skint after paying for stuff at the festival to buy another one.

It is ok to say no you know OP, much as teenage dramatics might make it seem like it, her world won't end. You wanted to say no to the tent in the first place (lesson learnt for future requests) so I'm afraid I would be twisting the food thing to my advantage now

Push for her to concede your tent and use her own and then you will pay for food. You will end up having to replace your tent if she takes it so I would give less equivalent as food budget so you're not out of pocket and call it quits for this time.

Time to toughen up from now on though OP, she's 18 and needs to start taking some responsibility for herself. And you need to start saying no when that's what you really want to do, you are allowed

No.
At best it'll come back reeking of smoke with only a few burn marks.

Is she a weed user OP?

No chance

I’d give her food though

I’d suggest that she gets refunds for some of the clothes that she bought since getting paid in order to cover her food costs.

That’s if she truly has no money. I’d guess she does have some, but she’s trying to save it for drink and activities etc at the festival, rather than spend it on something as dull as food and sustainence.

Don't let her take your new tent and don't buy her food either! How silly of her, she's 18 years old with her own income, she needs to start learning how to prioritize what's more important, clothes or food.

when my dd goes to festivals they get the cheapest tent as thye et left there anyway!

maybe help her with a cheapy tent?

Boomtown op? Your tent will come back stinking of weed at the very least (with a thin layer of white powder covering the base ). She shouldn’t be throwing a tantrum over the food and is acting quite entitled although I’d have offered to pay for my dd’s food in the first place. If she really cannotafford it how does she have enough money to bring to the festival?

Why did you agree?!

She has said she will replace the tent if gets ruined

If she can’t afford food, this sounds incredibly unlikely, does it?

Argos has a six man tent for £80.

She can club together with a few mates and buy one for less than £20 each.

Hell no! Do not let her take your new tent especially as you need it only two days later. It will get trashed (mud, rips in the flysheet, etc). She has a tent. If hers is "too small" that can only be because she's promised to let her mates share your tent - a promise she should not have made and which you're under no obligation to honour.

When I went to reading festival my tent was hot boxed, peed on.

Food wise, we went to the big Tesco down the river and I lived off cheap ham rolls and bananas for the weekend.

My daughter has been to loads of festivals from the age of 18 and has bought a new tent for each festival. None of the people she goes with ever bring back the tents as its usually soaking wet and covered with mud not to mention them being hungover and way too tired to be bothered. I would tell her to get ger mates to all chip in to buy a tent so you don't have to lend her yours.

I was going to say Boomtown?

My DS's tent came back from the last festival covered in some horrible smelling sticky stuff (probably sprayed with a fizzed up can of cheap beer gone rancid in the heat).

No way would I lend my tent, let alone a new tent, for a festival.

No to tent, yes to help with food.

I'd give her money for food and tell her to take her own tent, her mates will have to bring their own tent if your daughter's tent is too small. There's not a cat in hells chance I'd give her my new unused tent I was planning on camping in after it's been used for a festival.

She sounds delightful. She even old enough to go to the festival?

Crikey! By 18, I was running my own home, had 2 jobs (one of them I was in a fairly high position) and managed my A-levels.. Tell her to sort her own stuff out!

They don't all need to stay in HER tent. Can her friends not buy their own sodding tents?

Absolute bloody cheek all round really. Tell her to take back some of the new clothes and pay for food with them. All she needs is loads of super noodles and a pan to cook them in.

She's now loudly sobbing in her room

Utterly pathetic. Time of a life lesson; if you spend all your money on new clothes when you know you're off to a festival; you're going to go hungry. What's she doing to do for booze?

@AngelasAshes she has chosen to go to this festival (without her parents) and is now legally an adult, why on earth should the OP pay towards her holiday (because that’s what this is) when she has a job and she’s blown what could have been her food budget on new clothes? When I was the age the OPs daughter is my family still paid for me to come on family holidays, but when I went to Glastonbury with friends at 17 I was expected to save for it.

Could you give her £20 and take her to the supermarket so she can stock up on snacks and cereal bars, then either loan her the rest on the condition she pays it back out of her wages, or tell her she needs to take some of the clothes back? Festival food is hideously expensive though!

No way would any child of mine be taking my lovely tent to a festival. Middle child took his own tent to one a few weeks ago, which was fine as he brought it back again afterwards but it was filthy and smelled of his feet.
Your dd needs to take her own tent and buy some food. You could always supplement with cereal bars and snacks.