Daughter wants to take my new tent to festival

[givemestrength123]

DD18 wants to take my new tent - unused to a festival for her friends for 5 days before I have used it to take my younger children away in holiday. She has her own tent but is 'not big enough', mine is. I have said she can take it but I will have to buy a new one as she can't guarantee it won't be trashed. She comes back on Monday we are camping on Wednesday. She has said she will replace the tent if gets ruined but has now asked me to buy food for her festival as she can't afford it.
Since she got paid at the end of the month she's bought 5/ 6 new tops, bags, trousers, shorts for the festivals.

I don't want to go camping with children in a tent which has been slept in for 5 days by random teenagers doing god alone knows what.

I have said she can take the tent but I can't buy the food as I will have to buy another tent. Or she takes her tent back that she's loaned out and I buy the food.

She's now loudly sobbing in her room texting me she can't go now because I won't buy her food.

I have just had a text she's going to clear the cupboards at home to take.

No way would any child of mine be taking my lovely tent to a festival. Middle child took his own tent to one a few weeks ago, which was fine as he brought it back again afterwards but it was filthy and smelled of his feet.
Your dd needs to take her own tent and buy some food. You could always supplement with cereal bars and snacks.

Can you lend her money until she gets paid for food? Agree tent won’t be pretty on return.

I was going to pay for the food, it wasn't a question of that. It's now the principle. Yes she's going to Boom town and also Reading. She got paid on Wednesday nearly £400 and has £30 left, so I am apparently funding 2 festivals.
I am a bit broke at the moment having just paid for her uni halls deposit of nearly £400.

I told her last week she's not taking it, she's ignored it and expecting me to suck it up.

It will be trashed, i know that. She's been to other festivals before and left the tent but also bought the one she has now back from the last one. I am being told now he wants my one to keep her safe as it's bigger and they can all sleep in it. I know the people she's going away with and I KNOW it will be trashed. She won't police it all the time telling people not to smoke etc in it.

It wasn't a cheap one. She won't clean it when she gets home, I have been asking her for a week to move a fan from the hallway outside of her bedroom door and she hasn't bothered. Also she'll HAVE to sleep for at least a week when she gets home.
I won't lend her money as she never pays it back in June she borrowed £200 she completely for about even when reminding her. She just won't.

She has 2 shifts in August and won't get anymore but is listing this leaving do that leaving do she going to.
She's buying freshers tickets and other nights out but not considering paying for the actual time out.

Tents get trashed, drunks fall on them. Idiots grafity and wee up against them. Don't lend her yours its for your holiday. She clearly can't afford to replace it.

I was at boomtown last year. My tent didn't survive.
I would tell her to make do with the one she has. She won't be spending much time in it anyway.

Put the tent away where she won't find it.

Tell her to sort herself out, she has money, she has chosen to use it for other purposes and thats a big life lesson!

@AngelasAshes she's not going camping. She's going to a festival. She'll be drinking, smoking and so will her friends. There's no place to shower, and loads of people about will be drunk and on god alone knows what.

If she's at home obviously I feed her. I was good to buy the food for her. It's now the fact she's having a temper, not being responsible or sensible. She's being incredibly selfish as I am not made of money and have other children to think about too. It's not fair for them to loose out because she's spend happy.

You aren't taking the new tent. Take your own or don't go at all - your choice.
I'll buy you some basic food and that's your lot, seeing as you still owe me £200.
Don't carry on with the sobbing and dramatics because it makes you look very immature and ungrateful.

End of conversation.

Boomtown and then Reading? Fuck that for a game of soldiers. It won't get as far as the car park.

Tell her to piss off. If she can afford tickets, she can afford a tent. And she won't eat any food she takes because it'll be too much like hard work to carry it when there are tents and beers to be dealt with.

What a brat. No food and no tent if she was mine. Awful behaviour.

I missed the part about her already having her own bloody tent! Is she having a laugh!?

She’s trying to take you for a mug, OP.

You say she wants food but how is she planning to pay for alcohol with 30 quid? Festivals these days barely let you bring anything in. Perhaps she has money left but wants to spend it on booze.

Stick to your guns. She takes the smaller tent and you will buy her basic food. She wants more, she can return clothes for the money. If she sobs that she can't go tell her oh well, you spent all your money so I guess you can't.

Why will th tent be trashed, in what way? It takes a lot to trash a tent. Just make sure she cleans it on return.

As for the food, I'd provide this as I would wen she was at home. Food at festivals is expensive.

People just leave their tents at these festivals? Who cleans them up?

Why will th tent be trashed, in what way? It takes a lot to trash a tent. Just make sure she cleans it on return.

Drinks spilt on it. Cigarette burns. Urine, if some idiot pisses on it in the night. Food fights. Someone falling on it. The list is endless 🤷🏻‍♀️

Nope. Not a wotsit in doodahs chance would she be taking my tent if she were mine.

I'm generous and pretty free with my things, especially for my DDs, but in those circumstances given what she's spent and hide she's behaved, nope.

Apart from anything it's really not fair on your other children (or you!).

For goodness sake tell her no! Festivals are not essentials and she has pissed all her money away!

Staff thousands of tents are left at Glastonbury every year. An army of people clean up the site afterwards.

Puked on/in, pissed on (happens a lot at festivals), fallen on by drunken bodies, burnt with cigarettes, any number of ways Bluntness!

She's a cheeky madam. If you let her take it, there's zero chance she'll clean it afterwards. That's if it makes it back anyway!

Well other than fag burns, then piss, food and puke is easily hosed off. It is not trashed with that,

So past a risk of fag burns, how will it get trashed?

And I'd point out, fag burns are more likely on the ground sheet. Not that actual tent, and I speak as someone who goes to a festival annually.

You will never see the tent again. Or the money to buy a new one. Plus all the stress and lack of tent will affect you/her siblings. I think the solution is clear.

Tell her you’ve changed your mind. You will buy her some food and she can take her own wee tent as now the weathers changed and it’s wet the festival will be a sea of mud and it’s not practical to have the big heavy tent, sorry.

I am now picturing a Harry Enfield-esque scene of a teen stomping around saying it’s not fair and you’re the worst mum ever yada yada!

Stay firm or prepare to lose the big expensive tent so some shagging and vomiting teens who are likely to deposit wall to wall regurgitated alcohol and chips, sweat and bodily fluids from sexually charged drunken irresponsible behaviour.

The mess and smell will never come out, and you and your lovely babies will have to sleep there! Oh the joys of youth! Yuk. Stay firm. She’s lucky to have her own small tent

I told her last week she's not taking it, she's ignored it and expecting me to suck it up

I have said she can take it

Hmm, lots of mixed messages there. Make a decision and stick to it!

Don't let her take your tent. Giving in to her when she has spent money on new clothes and can't afford food is bad parenting. She needs to learn to budget for food for what is effectively a holiday.They can all squeeze into her smaller tent or one of the others should buy another tent to pitch alongside.

I would want to know I had my tent ready to go away on Wednesday. You are being a mug if you give in (but I think you will)