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AIBU?

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Original poster

Son getting annoyed when his clothes are in the ironing pile

210 replies

Buxton22386 · 02/08/2019 23:54

My oldest son is 21 and became very annoyed this morning because he couldn't find a pair of jeans. He was shouting his displeasure at 6.30 in the morning until I had no option to get up and find them (because it wasn't worth the complaints from the neighbours). He tells me it is a problem with the system I have for the washing. He was really rude and went out slamming the doors behind him. Its not the first time, and yes, I've told him he should leave if he is not happy about it.

OP posts:
DropOfffArtiste · 04/08/2019 10:05

Are you scared of him OP?

LoafofSellotape · 04/08/2019 10:09

Why are we still raising men to be abusive dickheads like this, we ask ourselves?

No,some men are quite capable of being dickheads without any input from their parents. At 21 he chooses how to behave.

OP, I think you need to stop doing his washing,his behaviour was appalling and if he's shouting so loudly the neighbours might complain them I would suggest you tell him to find his own accommodation.

Gregoire · 04/08/2019 10:26

Absolutely stop doing his laundry. Anything he puts in the laundry basket, remove it and leave it in his room. Don't iron a shirt for him last minute or cave when it's just a couple of things. If he's going to behave like that, he's going to be responsible for his own chores as he should have been already tbh

Bumbags · 04/08/2019 10:34

179 posts and no OP 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/08/2019 13:32

I do all the laundry because I have Monica-like issues over the way it is done. I also do it all because I quite like my clothes and don't want them ruined.
But that doesn't mean the DSs aren't going to learn how to do it my way properly - they will. They also help with hanging it up to dry, taking it back to their rooms and putting it away (6 and 11).

But I'd still tell them they're doing all their own washing from now on if they spoke like that to me at that age.

lawnmowingsucks · 04/08/2019 14:05

179 posts and no OP 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Hit a nerve , maybe Grin

museumsandgalleries666 · 04/08/2019 16:21

Why on earth would anyone spend time ironing denim jeans, for anyone, at any age? What a complete time waster. Do you iron socks and underpants as well?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 04/08/2019 16:49

Because not everyone has a garden where they can line-dry clothing. Jeans need ironing if they’ve been in the tumble dryer.

Pellegrinopolly · 04/08/2019 16:55

Because not everyone has a garden where they can line-dry clothing. Jeans need ironing if they’ve been in the tumble dryer.

Eh? Each to their own but it's the other way around isn't it? Line dried things are much more crinkly and stiff. Tumble drier clothes come out smoother don't they?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 04/08/2019 16:55

I wish!

clicketyclick66 · 04/08/2019 17:04

OP, please stop doing household stuff for your son. When we were growing up, my mother did everything for my brother and expected me to. If I refused I got hit with the wooden spoon. I was told it was something I would always have to do.
Now his wife complains how useless he is around the house and she works full time.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 04/08/2019 17:05

I'd be putting a wash basket in his room and telling him to do his own washing and ironing

speakout · 04/08/2019 18:26

StillCoughingandLaughing

Jeans "need" ironing? Do Ilve in a alternate universe?

WaxOnFeckOff · 04/08/2019 18:37

Well, just 'cos the jeans were in the ironing, doesn't mean they were going to be ironed. However, we do iron jeans as we don't use fabric softener or a tumble drier and ironing softens them. They don't "need" ironed, and you could argue that nothing "needs" ironed, but we choose to do so and unless i'm wrong, then we still have free choice to decide for ourselves.

speakout · 04/08/2019 18:46

Do clothes"need " ironed? i have never ironed a pair of jeans in my life. Not ever.
I iron perhaps two garments a year- for a wedding or similar.

WaxOnFeckOff · 04/08/2019 18:55

speakout and there is nothing wrong with that if that's what you want. I just don't like personally like the look or feel of unironed clothes. DH does most of ours, most stuff gets ironed, pillowcases will get done but we don't tend to do sheets and duvet covers, tea towels get ironed but hand/bath towels don't usually. However, if they've been dried in the sun they can be quite hard so they will get a quick run over.

Teen DSs do their own, they iron most stuff as that's how they've been brought up and what they are used to, but they have free choice.

WaxOnFeckOff · 04/08/2019 18:56

DH wears a uniform, I'm not sure if he'd be allowed to have it unironed tbh. I work in a business environment and whilst it#s a lot more casual than it used to be, I couldn't in all honesty go into the office with ironed clothes.

ShrodingersRat · 04/08/2019 19:05

“Its not the first time, and yes, I've told him he should leave if he is not happy about it.”

The problem is this approach puts the ball in his court. You are saying “I will continue to do your washing my way and if you don’t like it it is your choice to leave”

The serious conversation (not rant) you need to have is:
“We are both adults. I will not have anyone speak to me so rudely in my own house. If you ever speak to me again like that you will be moving out.
Furthermore, since you are now an adult, from now on you will need to do your own washing and ironing.
And I expect you to take a fair share of other household tasks.
You have 1 month to demonstrate that you can pull your weight like an adult in this household or you will need to move out”.

BlueSkiesLies · 04/08/2019 19:08

Congrats on raising a thoroughly unpleasant misogynistic arse hole.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 04/08/2019 19:09

Jeans "need" ironing? Do Ilve in a alternate universe?

A slightly extreme action to my choosing to iron a garment you choose not to! If you prefer, I personally think jeans look better after a quick iron. It doesn’t keep me awake at night if others don’t.

Sparklybanana · 04/08/2019 19:25

Jeas, who loves washing and ironing so much that their 21 year old gets away with not doing it AND being rude to boot. Doing everything for your kids when they can do it themselves doesn’t do anyone any favours.

The rule in my house is that I do the washing but any complaints results in mum strike. Iron? Only for dh shirts and only dh does it.

And just to add to the competition - my 2 year old boy put on all the washing when we were on holiday. Ok, he sees it as fun cos it’s basically button pushing but I am not going to put a stop to this game while it lasts! Just need to wait until he’s tall enough to hang it all out Wink

But, yanbu. He’s got a great system? Let him practice with all your clothes too and see how he improves things.

Blueandredandblue · 04/08/2019 20:23

I'd laugh at him, then put them in a bin bag with the rest of his stuff and put it out.

Bumbags · 04/08/2019 21:37

198 posts and the OP still hasn’t come back.

twoshedsjackson · 04/08/2019 22:29

"My oldest son".......so there are other sons in the house?
As well as dealing firmly with this nonsense, you need to consider what the younger sons are learning.
If it's more convenient to just do all the washing in one go, fair enough, but do make a teaching moment of it if they try complaining; "Just remember what happened when your big brother complained!"
Some supermarkets now run a shirt-washing service; why not obtain a price list, and attach it to the side of his lovely new washing basket?

Tensixtysix · 04/08/2019 22:31

Change the locks when he's out at work and leave all his stuff in black bags. Sounds like he needs a good hard lesson!

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