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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Son getting annoyed when his clothes are in the ironing pile

210 replies

Buxton22386 · 02/08/2019 23:54

My oldest son is 21 and became very annoyed this morning because he couldn't find a pair of jeans. He was shouting his displeasure at 6.30 in the morning until I had no option to get up and find them (because it wasn't worth the complaints from the neighbours). He tells me it is a problem with the system I have for the washing. He was really rude and went out slamming the doors behind him. Its not the first time, and yes, I've told him he should leave if he is not happy about it.

OP posts:
Hadalifeonce · 03/08/2019 12:44

When I was about 15, my mum washed something of mine on the wrong temperature, I was furious at her and rude, she never ever did another wash for me.
Perhaps he needs to learn to be grateful.

sackrifice · 03/08/2019 12:47

He tells me it is a problem with the system I have for the washing. He was really rude and went out slamming the doors behind him. Its not the first time, and yes, I've told him he should leave if he is not happy about it.

Can you change the locks whilst he is out?

sheshootssheimplores · 03/08/2019 12:50

Does he pay you money to tend to his washing and ironing? If not do his future wife/partner a massive favour and tell him it is now all his. He can wash and iron everything he owns.

TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan · 03/08/2019 12:58

Is his problem with your system that he's asked you not to do his laundry, especially not to iron his jeans? Who on earth irons jeans...

llangennith · 03/08/2019 13:01

Buy him a washing basket for his own room and his own clothes.

huggybear · 03/08/2019 13:04

I iron jeans... I didn't realise that was unusual. Anyway, I echo what everyone else says, stop doing his laundry

LoubyLou1234 · 03/08/2019 13:08

I was doing my own washing and the families ironing (cos I liked it) at a much younger age than him. I'd moved out by then. If he doesn't like your system he does his own!

user1486131602 · 03/08/2019 13:10

No washing or ironing his clothes from now on, no more problem!

Hotterthanahotthing · 03/08/2019 13:10

Another saying don't do his laundry.Give him his own basket then he'll always know where his things are a he can use his own washing system and things will be perfect.
I only iron in summer asIlije to wear cotton.My DD had to learn wben she was12.This is the best way to convince a child that ironing is mostly unnecessary.

SilverySurfer · 03/08/2019 13:13

He's a rude, lazy, useless lump and I pity the woman who gets lumbered with him. You've not done him any favours by doing everything for him. Another useless, incapable man let loose on the world. So depressing.

longwayoff · 03/08/2019 13:31

You must be asterisking joking. He wouldn't do it twice if he lived with me, half way through I'd be emptying his wardrobe out of the window and demanding my doorkey back. Get a grip.

Nautiloid · 03/08/2019 16:29

Oh my God! I would never wash a single item of his clothing again. Not even joking. I'd tell him in a calm friendly manner that you've decided not to do it any more, and then I'd stick to it and refuse to be drawn into any more discussions about it.

viques · 03/08/2019 16:35

Get a large carrier bag.

Get a sharpie.

Label the carrier bag "my laundry"

Print out a list of times the washing machine is available.

Attach to bag.

Hang on his door handle.

Pour wine.

Ellmau · 03/08/2019 18:46

Dear me, does he not know where the iron is?

Offer to give him his own for his next birthday present ;) And an ironing board if he can't find that either.

Vulpine · 03/08/2019 18:49

I taught my son to use the washing machine when he was 13. Haven't done it for him since.

ConfCall · 03/08/2019 18:56

This is a problem of your own making OP - but you can fix it.

Topseyt · 03/08/2019 19:11

He is a very rude and entitled young man. Tell him that if he speaks to you like that ever again he will have to leave. Mean it.

As for ironing, if he wants his clothes ironed he can do them himself. Jeans don't need ironed anyway.

As an aside, we don't do ironing at all in this house as we consider it a total waste of time. Stuff is just folded after it is dry and everyone is responsible for taking their own pile up and putting it away. I don't think any of us would really know where the iron is. I can recommend that system.

DartmoorDoughnut · 03/08/2019 19:13

Stick a washing basket, an ironing board and an iron in his room and tell him where he nearest laundromat is. What a cheeky fucker!

PixieLumos · 03/08/2019 19:17

He’s 20 effing 1 - threaten to kick him out if he’s behaving like that (I moved back home when I was 21, I understand it’s hard for young people to move out these days, but there’s no way my parents would have let me stay if I acted like that - rightfully so.)

PixieLumos · 03/08/2019 19:19

Also I had friends at that age who were also 21 who were married and had kids of their own - he’s not a kid anymore. Behaving like that is ridiculous.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/08/2019 19:45

At 11 years old, ds3 was ironing his own school shirts - I went on shirt-ironing-strike when ds3 went up to senior school, so all three dses would be in proper shirts, and I’d have been ironing 20 shirts a week, including dh’s.

To be fair, I probably should have done it sooner, so each ds started ironing his shorts when he went to senior school - believe me, I know that was wrong.

Anyhow - I to,d the dses that they were responsible for ironing their shirts each weekend. They had a bit of a confab, and decided a better solution was a three week rota, so each weekend one of them ironed 15 shirts - which I thought was bonkers, but their choice.

They stuck to it all the way through senior school, and when they went off to university they knew how to do laundry, iron, cook and clean.

@Buxton22386 - your son needs a stern warning - his attitude is unacceptable, and if he cannot behave himself in a civilised fashion in your home, he can find his own. And from now on, since your system is so fatally flawed, he can do his own fecking washing and ironing from now on - no ifs, no buts, and no going back on this if he apologises and puts on a repentant face.

He needs to learn the life skills of keeping his own clothes clean, and you need to toughen up and give it to him.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/08/2019 19:47

Oh yes - and at 21, I was about to qualify as a nurse, and was not only responsible for my own laundry, cooking and housework, I was also able to take responsibility for the health, well being and treatment of a ward full of sick patients.

He is no less capable than I was - don’t let him be a helpless man child.

Emilizz34 · 03/08/2019 23:01

Your response needs to be that you don’t do 21 year old men’s washing and ironing .
When I was 21, I was a fully qualified nurse , living alone for 3 years and doing my own washing .
I don’t do my kids washing . They are both college students who get a weekly allowance . Failure to remove their clothes from the washing machine or clothes line results in one weeks allowance being automatically deducted as my dh and I got fed up of doing it for them.
It has never happened more than once Grin

Coronapop · 03/08/2019 23:06

Just tell him from now on he does all his own washing ironing etc. And do not respond to his angry outbursts, it will reinforce his behaviour. He will learn ....eventually.

RosaWaiting · 03/08/2019 23:11

He’s 21!!!!!

Either he does his own or does his share in a rota.

Why are so many parents doing stuff like this? I don’t get it. I’ve got two colleagues with similar complaints and I just do not get it.

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