Would you be pissed off if in the first day or two after getting home from having a baby, your dh goes to the gym

[Lardlizard]

? Or would it not bother you

Also what if you were struggling with breastfeeding sore and in pain

Nope, you need to talk about suffering that shit together.

Well DH did I can't say it bothered me tbh.

There wasn't a huge amount for him to do other than nappy changes, keeping me fed and making copious cups of tea.

It was only for a few hours and frankly it was good for him to de-compress and me to get some bonding time in uninterrupted.

As long as he's not planing to be out for most of the day and makes sure you're ok for food/drinks and the baby has been changed and you have everything you need to hand (muslin clothes/wipes/nappies etc) I don't really see a problem.

That said, you feel differently and you feel how you feel - no right or wrong about it.

I do know DH asked me if it was ok to go and if I'd have said no he'd have stayed.

So I don't think he's BU, but neither are you and frankly given you're the one whose just given birth your wants/needs top trump his in these very early days.

If it was just for a couple of hours I wouldn't care.

I hope things become easier for you soon

Wouldn't have bothered me, so long as he was pulling his weight. But DH also wouldn't have done it if I didn't like it...

Not at all.

My DH was run ragged when the kids were babies/toddlers, so it would've been nice for him to get a break.

He's not a gym goer but he used to walk the dog over the park for an hour to escape the madness.

It wouldn't bother me, it's to exercise, for an hour or two? He's not going out drinking.

It wouldn’t bother me.

well my first day out of hospital DH had to go into work (induced early so he just had to go and finish stuff up before he officially started pat leave.

Gosh no. Seems entirely reasonable to me. DH also went out for shopping and stuff like that too. I really didn't expect him to be glued to my side 24/7! As long as he makes you a cup of tea when he gets back...

It doesn’t matter if anyone else would mind. What matters is that YOU mind and if you felt like you needed him after just having given birth, he should be by your side. End of.

The day after I came back from hospital DH went to the One Day International cricket, so was out all day. I was fine with it, DD slept most of the day. The midwife called round, and my sister came over .. I was finding bf a bit of a struggle, and those two were great.

Actually no, probably not on day 2. That's still crazytown days just trying to survive. I always quite felt vulnerable and dependant for the first few days.

And for the record, yes I would have minded. I needed company and support and have no shame in admitting that!

I’d be fine with it as long as he was otherwise pulling his weight. My DH worked incredibly hard to look after us in the weeks after getting home and he had to go out for runs and walks to get some fresh air and exercise, otherwise he’d have gone stir crazy.

It depends on how you feel. Some people wouldn’t care, for others it would be awful. For me with ds1 I wouldn’t have cared, after ds3 I would have been really pissed off because I was in pain and needed help.

I wouldn't have liked it at all. I was exhausted and v sore (stitches) and even moving was difficult. I was also scared of this huge responsibility that had "suddenly" been thrust upon me and wanted him around pretty constantly for the first couple of weeks.

no, I wouldn't mind if it's just an hour or two. Better that he gets to destress - so long a he is supportive when he's back home

and Congratulations

I echo @Rainycloudyday

It would bother me if he got up and left without so much as consulting me and checking if I was okay with him leaving me so soon.

Nope- didn’t bother me, because on the way back he went food shopping, came home and took over where he could, cleaned the house etc.
A couple of hours out the house is nothing, a man could be at home non stop and do sod all

With our 1st my DH (not so darling at the time) used to go to the gym for hours, once even telling me when I asked him to wait until I'd had a shower so he could grab the baby if it cried, that "he needed his me time" at the time I had a very clinging baby that would scream if put down, who was feeding every 2 hours, day and night, I hadn't slept in days let alone washed.

He now cringes at how he behaved we were new parents and both learning having both been pretty independent before I was suddenly very dependent on him.

By number 3 he'd cracked it and was amazing

He did as he went every day and it was his sanity time.
What got a bit more annoying is insisting he went to the gym Sunday mornings when kids were older when I would have loved a lie in!

No!!! Why would you. Just enjoy the time to watch dawson creek (name what you like) with a your baby asleep on you. I miss those days. Just cuddling up with dd (ff so not sure if made a difference) whilst she feed or slept. Best bonding ever. Congratulations. Enjoy this first days as its so magic. X

Yep, this would bother me tbh. I'd find it a bit weird that he's off to the gym the day after his baby was born! If he needs to de-stress on day two when it's his wife who has gone through the trauma of birth, then he needs to give his head a wobble tbh. De-stress my arse.