Would you be pissed off if in the first day or two after getting home from having a baby, your dh goes to the gym

[Lardlizard]

? Or would it not bother you

First day i would be annoyed after that first day then I wouldn't mind.

Err, no. DH rushed off to an important meeting as soon as I had given birth to DS. He returned much later. He was also back to work as soon as we got home from the hospital, before his paternity leave started

Wouldn’t bother me.

My dh uses exercise to keep his good mental health. So maybe I would understand...Now.

Now that our dc are grown. When our dc were newborn, he or my mother were with me for the first couple of weeks. I would be unhappy if I was left alone with our newborn.

However, having a new baby is stressful and sometimes we do dumb things. My dh did not get me anything for my first mother's day; I was not HIS mother! We had an enlightening conversation about that.

Maybe you could talk? But if he doesn't apologize, then he is a jerk.

I don't think it's a massive offence personally, not like he's going on an all day bender to a lap dancing club, just to exercise for an hour or so I presume to unwind. But being a 100% single parent I can't actually imagine the luxury of having another full time parent around so it's hard to picture. If he's otherwise pretty hands on and helpful I'd say pick your battles.

Depends on the circumstances. Personally I wanted my DH to go out. I like having time to myself and wanted some after a few days in the hospital. By the end of his paternity leave the house was getting a little claustrophobic to be honest, with both of us there all the time!

But I was lucky to feel fine and me and baby weren't having any problems - if you were it would be different.

I would be fine with this. It's only a couple of hours. But if I was feeling particularly vulnerable and having problems then I would have just told him I didn't want him to go. You don't have to suffer in silence.

If it was during labor i would say YANBU
But now YABU
It is only what... 2hrs? And newborn babies just sleep. A. Lot.

So what do you expect him to do
Be home all day? Nah.
Let him go to the gym. And when he comes back, run yourself a hot bath and have an hour of soaking whilst he looks after the baby.

It is just because your hormones. And having new born and all that. 3 years from now you will laugh at this hihi

This would have bothered me in the first two days. I was still very sore from stitches and needed help, I would have felt very vulnerable.

My DH really relies on going to the gym to cope with stress and anxiety, so if he wanted to go to the gym I probably wouldn't mind, as long as when he came back I got to have a proper sleep for an hour or so.

Is he doing his equal share of parenting? Is he earning money for your family? Yes? Then of course it's fine for him to go to the gym. I really don't see why it's an issue. You sound possessive.

My dh did this, I was in hospital after a 36 hour back to back labour and eventual section, I haemorrhaged and lost a litre of blood. I hadn't slept in almost three days (not a wink) and was wild. Couldn't get hold of him, he was at home. He had a lie in and then went to the gym. I've still never forgiven it and it was almost three years ago. He wasn't entitled to paternity leave, was doing 12 hours shifts and then would fuck off to the gym for hours at a time also. It negativity affected out relationship. We clung on by the skin of out teeth.

Now, if I had another, it would be more equal, I would know what to expect from childbirth, I'd have a ELCS, I would know my own name and not be completely gooned, I would ensure that I was looked after before he looked after himself. By which I mean, sandwiches made in the fridge, painkillers ready and nice biscuits available. Obviously we'd also have another child who would need to be sorted so it's a completely different scenario. But with my first I felt, and looked, like I'd been hit by a bus and it was a shitshow.

My partner (ex) went to work the day we were discharged he fitted in collecting us from hospital (good of him) dropped us at home and went straight back to work (well he said work but god knows where else he might have been)