Would you be pissed off if in the first day or two after getting home from having a baby, your dh goes to the gym

[Lardlizard]

? Or would it not bother you

It’s not “cool wives” some of us were clearly OK and really weren’t that bothered by a hypothetical trip to the gym (what 2 hours at a push?). Hold on tight when I say that I went to an overnight wedding when DS was 3 weeks old despite having been stitched like the Bayeux Tapestry.

Just as there are some that didn’t feel up to any of that. In those cases, yes, support and company are needed and wanted.

Better a cool wife than a martyr

A 'martyr' in this context would agree and then ostentatiously display her hardship and suffering in a passive aggressive manner. The OP is openly voicing her disagreement so is not a martyr.

It’s not “cool wives” some of us were clearly OK and really weren’t that bothered by a hypothetical trip to the gym (what 2 hours at a push?).

Yes, but it is extremely insensitive to emphasise this whilst being dismissive of the OP's concerns....

Did you not read my second paragraph?

Yup, I'd be pissed off. I would expect more from my husband.

Did you not read my second paragraph?

Yes, but it does not negate the first.

The '2 hours at a push' I thought particularly scornful.

And congratulations

On what? The OP hasn’t had a baby. Bet youngest is 5 years old. Fuck knows why she started this thread.

Her not bet

If my husband was on paternity leave and was using that to go to the gym I’d not be happy about it.

Unless it was reciprocated.

3hrs after our dd was born my dp went and had a nandos as i had to stay in hospital. He hadn't eaten for 16hrs during my labour.

Depends whether it bothers you?

Yes I would have minded!

I think you need to bone up on your comprehension skills then and, yes, two hours gym time. What the hell else do you do in there? Exercise, shower, out. How the bloody heck is that insensitive FGS?

@NoSauce how do you know? Maybe she's asking for a family member or friend? Maybe she's sat with them right now while he's buggered off to the gym!

I'm old so my DH went to work. If I were having a baby now , though, I wouldn't mind at all if he went to the gym.

The OP started a thread yesterday asking how often do people’s husbands do their hobby and said that hers went to the gym even when there was a newborn in the house, also that her youngest is five.

Just a bit weird that she’d make this thread look like she had a new baby.

It wouldn't have bothered me but I'm not you.

If it bothers you then you need to tell him that you would prefer he was around for support.

In the early days of bf the baby tends to be permanently attached to you and I think the dad can end up feeling like a bit of a spare part.

Tell him you need him to fetch x,y,z. Ask him to hold baby while you shower etc. If you don't ask he'll probably just think that you have it all covered and he's just in the way so to speak

Mine did and I didn't mind, I watched bad TV with my baby on my lap and ate chocolate...

It wouldn't have bothered me. But if I was struggling it would have. He should have asked if you were ok with him going

I think you need to bone up on your comprehension skills then and, yes, two hours gym time. What the hell else do you do in there? Exercise, shower, out. How the bloody heck is that insensitive FGS?

I really don't. You seem to be emphatically emphasising the 2 hours as if this amount of time is insignificant. Yet if someone has birth injuries and is not confident in coping by themselves that could seem like a decade. That is how you are being insensitive. The 'bloody heck' just adds to the whole impatient disapproving vibe....

Just a bit weird that she’d make this thread look like she had a new baby.

Her husband's behaviour at that time obviously upset her deeply and this was unresolved.

If you’re not confident managing by yourself, you’d do better with your mum than a useless man.

you’d do better with your mum than a useless man.

Cliche. Not all mums are useful not all men useless.

Her husband's behaviour at that time obviously upset her deeply and this was unresolved

Ok so why not say this was years ago then? Instead of making people believe she’d just had a baby?

Ok so why not say this was years ago then? Instead of making people believe she’d just had a baby?

Because maybe she wanted people's reactions without giving a lot of backstory.