To ask you how the actual fuck to deal with this??

[TayoTheLittleBus]

Wits. End.

My two year old (just turned two) flipped herself out of her cot last night and was quite frankly fortunate not to break her neck. Soooo today the side has come off.

She will not stay the fuck in her bed. I keep returning her. Over and over. No eye contact etc. It’s now a game to her. Laughing and sneaking about.

I am now on the floor beside her bed and I just keep gently pushing her back down when she sits up. But I am already in a mess with my four year old as she won’t sleep without one of us lying beside her (a different thread altogether) and I am absolutely fucking determined that this will not be happening with DD2.

Please. Help.

As if it’s cruel to keep them in a sleeping bag! Get a grip!

I think the cruel comments are rather directed at the poster who tied their fucking kids sleeping bag to the cot

For the person who mentioned those sleeping bags...my daugher must be Houdini, cos she not only could climb out of a her cot in one, but prowl round the house in it too. God, that was a nightmare.

I had exactly the same problem when dc climbed out of cot repeatedly, we did exactly what booboosweet suggested. Took about a week or so but got there in the end, stairgate stayed on bedroom door for about a year ! it is tough till they get there, good luck!

I often wonder if I'd have had more luck with my 2 going to sleep if I'd had them sharing a room. Too late for me, but you could try it.

My first never even tried to climb out of his cot and still waits for me to get him out if bed. The second. Well. He could flip himself out in a sleeping bag . Surely if she can climb out of the cot she can scale a baby gate?

I think you just have to be really firm. Routine, no leeway with the pratting about. Good luck!

@mathanxiety. It's great if people are different. It's not great when people abuse their children. Tying children to their beds is abuse. Pure and simple.

I put a baby gate on the bedroom door. Child proofed the bedroom. Job done. Sometimes she would fall asleep by the gate and then i would lift her and pop her in her bed.

Make the room toddler safe. Read them a very boring story. Tell DD that's it's bed time. The worst thing you can do or let your children see is how angry they make you as they turn into mind vamps. Close the child gate or door and if you hear any crying and or screaming go in with a calm tone and say politely darling mummy is tyred it time for bed and keep repeating every time she crys she will get the message after a bit of hard work.

I can't believe the lengths of putting bets over the cot, sleeping bags on backwards. Surely one day you'll realise how cruel you have been to your kids?

@bernietaupinspen maybe, but that ^^ is from @NoKnit which is what I was referring to.

Your 4 yo is old enough for some kind of star chart / marbles in jar system.

@ZaZathecat I can confirm - it is a billion times worse when they share. They either chat or fight.

Good luck tonight OP Fingers crossed for you!

maybe, but that ^^ is from @NoKnit which is what I was referring to.

Fair enough. Obviously I couldn't have known that.

My 2 year old is a savage also. We put him in a bed a few weeks ago, completely baby proofed his room and put a stair gate on his door. I leave him to it now. He goes to sleep eventually.
It's HARD isn't it, have a child who doesn't want to sleep. He's also dropped his nap but that really is a whole other thread 🙈
Good luck tonight OP!

@TayoTheLittleBus
Just read all your posts on this thread. Sorry but they made me laugh as you literally explain my life! And the fact your username is tayo which my son the non sleeper is OBSESSED with. Really hope tonight goes well for you.

Op, can you move her into a proper bed? The risk seems to be her jumping out of her cot, so something lower might work?

My eldest child used to do this and we got rid of the cot and put him in one of those blow-up bed mattress things on the floor. I forget what they're called but they're for camping? They're really comfortable. He slept in that for about a year then we put him into a proper bed. Used to find him all over the floor asleep but at least we knew that if he rolled out he didn't have a drop.

weaningwoes
Any kind of tie/rope/binding cloth that ties a baby or toddler to a bed is dangerous as it presents a strangulation hazard. It's in the same category of hazards as blind pulls.

Putting on an article of clothing that makes climbing impossible is fine as long as the child won't overheat in it and there is room for legs to be moved to any sleeping position. However, there is still a chance that a toddler will defeat the sleeping bag tack, climb over the cot rail and then fall because their legs are not free to use. The best defence against determined climbing toddlers is to get rid of the cot and leave a mattress on the floor. (This is a feature of Montessori bedroom arrangements for children, interestingly).

Closing a door is not abusive, nor is locking it.
Doors should be closed at night to prevent (God forbid) a fire or associated smoke spreading.

Tall baby gates at the top of the stairs are better than baby gates in a doorway. They have to be very tall.

I don't think it's helpful to be judgemental toward people who are at their wits end because of lack of sleep, who decide to try something out of desperation. These parents are facing a crisis and there is no indication that they are abusive in their day to day dealings with their toddlers.

The OP has had four years of problems in the night, and this situation is ongoing. She has gone through one pregnancy and the babyhood of her second child while dealing with the sleep problems of her older child. She has a job and is desperate to establish bedtime behaviour that meets everyone's needs - her need for time to get chores done and to relax and then sleep herself, and the DCs' need to go to sleep and sleep enough for health.

I am no use. My 6 year old still sleeps with me. I gave in years ago when he climbed out of his cot, constantly got out of bed to join me. I needed sleep at any cost and DH decamped to the spare room. DS still does anything but sleep.

I have no advice but I do sympathise. I know all this too well.

If you ever find the answer please don't keep it a secret.

Childproof the room, put a stairgate across the doorway.

Now the hard bit. Ignore all noise (unless it is obvious shrieks of pain).

No attention, no visible checking (if you want to put a mirror on the wall opposite the door so you can check without being seen) Lack of attention is lack of reason to stay awake.

Does she have a relaxing bath before bed? Calm things down before bed time, no running around, maybe sit down and have a drink and a snack, cuddle up and read a story, (only problem is that used to send me to sleep lol), finally a nice bath without too much excitement, then put to bed and totally ignore.

Definitely stairgate, no toys, leave room. They might sleep on the floor occasionally but it won't do them any harm. I would never do it any other way.

We had this with our eldest. We made sure they couldn't climb up any furniture, etc, did our routine and then shut the door, which they luckily weren't strong enough to open, and left them to it. No one got any sleep the first night, about 2hrs the second night, 3 or 4 the 3rd night and by 5 nights we'd cracked it. All went well for about 2-3 weeks then we had a bad night, which we ignored, and they slept fine after that.

I would also advocate the earlier bedtime. If they're too tired, you've missed your chance, so moving out earlier would fix that- if that isn't the problem then at least it's all done earlier!

Mine also didn't nap during the day