Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you how the actual fuck to deal with this??

215 replies

TayoTheLittleBus · 31/07/2019 19:35

Wits. End.

My two year old (just turned two) flipped herself out of her cot last night and was quite frankly fortunate not to break her neck. Soooo today the side has come off.

She will not stay the fuck in her bed. I keep returning her. Over and over. No eye contact etc. It’s now a game to her. Laughing and sneaking about.

I am now on the floor beside her bed and I just keep gently pushing her back down when she sits up. But I am already in a mess with my four year old as she won’t sleep without one of us lying beside her (a different thread altogether) and I am absolutely fucking determined that this will not be happening with DD2.

Please. Help.

OP posts:
granadagirl · 01/08/2019 00:25

I’m with you op, you need you time.
They need a bedtime routine

You need to take all toys out of bedroom (if possible ) in your room, shed, under stairs anywhere for time being.
Start with bath,drink milk & biscuit
Teeth and bed.
Put her down,tell her it’s beftime and she must go to sleep. You will see her tomorrow to wake her up.
Stair gate out side door, shut the door. Can she open it?
If she does , go up and put her back in bed
If she gets up again leave her, if she cry,screams leave
She will cry herself to sleep maybe on the floor, but you can go up later and put her in bed
You have to be cruel to be kind
It may a take few nights, but you will defo get there if you can switch off from the noise
If you don’t, you will make a rod for your own back years later she will be down stairs or u will be upstairs and she running rings round you
Be strong, nothing will harm her

Rtmhwales · 01/08/2019 01:01

Not sure if it's been suggested but my sister put a purposely built dome net over the cot. Was meant for kids with ASD apparently but she used it for DN when he wouldn't stop escaping but also wouldn't sleep without being in the cot.

Raggletagglegypsy · 01/08/2019 01:24

Just do what I did - worked a treat for all six kids...enjoy their company (life's too short) until they are so tired that they are begging to go to bed!...#making a mountain out of what should be the most natural molehill in the world!

bernietaupinspen · 01/08/2019 01:28

At that age I had her in a sleeping bag and cut a hole in one corner and tied her in- she could stand up but not get her self out of the cot

Surely fucking not Shock

Brain06626 · 01/08/2019 01:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mathanxiety · 01/08/2019 02:01

Clear the room of everything she could climb on, pull over on top of herself, or hurt herself with. If this means an empty room with only a mattress on the floor that's fine.

Close her door. This is controversial, but lock it until you are sure she is asleep and then unlock it. Put up a stair gate.

Sing a goodnight song, read a goodnight story.
Leave her to go to sleep.

The way to establish a habit of you sitting with her all night is by you sitting with her all night.

Raggletagglegypsy mine used to all stay up too, until about 9 pm. They were all in bed in about 15 minutes, lights out, and asleep. We had late dinners (7 pm or after) and all helped clear away, then we read downstairs or did some quiet activity.

StoppinBy · 01/08/2019 02:47

Not sure if this solution will work for you but

we have kept both our children in baby sleeping bags later than probably most people do, 2-3 for my eldest and my youngest is now a bit over 2 and still happily in one, we put them on backwards so they can't be unzipped. The bonus to it is that they can't get their leg up high enough to climb over the cot so I never had a cot jumper with my eldest and my youngest hasn't tried either.

Given that yours is already jumping they might be a bit too determined to get out though for this to work though.

NoKnit · 01/08/2019 07:24

I can't believe the lengths of putting bets over the cot, sleeping bags on backwards. Surely one day you'll realise how cruel you have been to your kids?

It's simple just put them to sleep when they are tired, if that is early then so be it but just try it out. Locking someone in to a room or cot is so disrespectful doesn't anyone else see it?

MarieFromStTropez · 01/08/2019 07:26

Melatonin. You can't go on like that, it's dangerous apart from anything.

Daisychainsandglitter · 01/08/2019 07:29

Another vote for a stair gate here too! It takes a few nights of hell for them to get it but your reward after that is that you get your evenings back!
Good luck!

gingerbiscuits · 01/08/2019 08:24

We baby-gated the bedroom door, made the room 'safe' & left him to it! Not gonna lie - it was hard & there were tears (not just his!) & he passed out on the floor a few times but he did eventually get the message. Good luck!! They're determined little buggers!!

Mammajay · 01/08/2019 17:41

Don't father Christmas's elves start checking that children are in bed from 1st August?

weaningwoes · 01/08/2019 17:47

Can't actually believe some of the things I am reading here. Fucking TYING children to their cots??? Poor kids whose parents treat them like dogs.

My daughter sleeps like shit and always has, its been a pain, but I can live with that far better than I could live with myself if I was leaving her to scream herself to sleep or locking/tying her up like an animal.

ElizaPancakes · 01/08/2019 17:50

I did similar combo to some already mentioned:

  • stair gate on the door
  • kiss and goodnight, then return to bed with no other interaction
  • did this at 2 mins, then 4, then 8, then 16 etc. Sat outside the door so could monitor but not within sight

By day three it was cracked, went down a dream and in general were absolutely fine. Now ages 10 and 7.

If you can, take time off work to do it. I did, I wouldn’t have been able to manage otherwise.

Good luck!

Mymomsbetterthanyomom · 01/08/2019 17:53

No suggestions...But having teenagers now is so awesome.🤗

ElizaPancakes · 01/08/2019 17:54

As if it’s cruel to keep them in a sleeping bag! Get a grip!

ElizaPancakes · 01/08/2019 17:54

I can’t wait @Mymomsbetterthanyomom - my mum used to get me up at the weekend, I can’t wait till we’re all lying in till midday! Grin

weaningwoes · 01/08/2019 17:56

Sleeping bag is not cruel. TYING the bloody sleeping bag to the cot bars??? Definitely cruel.

mathanxiety · 01/08/2019 17:56

weaningwoes then I am sure you will agree that it's a good thing we're all different.

That goes for our ability to handle the stress of babies and children who won't/can't sleep too.

Lillyringlet · 01/08/2019 17:58

Good luck op today! I hope the early bed time helps. If did with mine.

I'm another who kisses, says I'll be back in x and if she stays in bed after that time she gets another kiss.

Lovemusic33 · 01/08/2019 18:03

We used a baby gate and just had a bed and a couple teddies in the room (no distractions).

Took quite a while to settle dd2 (ASD) and we were eventually prescribed melatonin when she was 4.

fhc27 · 01/08/2019 18:04

My son escaped his sleeping bag and tried to leap out of his cot a few times but I was really reluctant to take the side off because I think he’d do exactly what your little monkey is doing! A friend suggested I put his sleeping bag on inside out and / or back to front. It meant he couldn’t get a leg up. That was over a year ago and he hasn’t tried it since. He’s 2 and a half now and I’m keeping him like that as long as possible! Maybe if you think she isn’t ready for the side off you could give that a go. Good luck!!!!

fhc27 · 01/08/2019 18:06

I should add it only works with the zip up bags and not the ones with the poppers on the shoulders as they come off if they stand up.

janex1 · 01/08/2019 18:06

safety gate on the door and then leave her to it. I did that 18 years ago to my youngest. Safe to say she doesn't do it anymore!

fhc27 · 01/08/2019 18:08

I have just seen it has already been suggested! Hope whatever you try helps - you need sleep!