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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Need someones help..... bit personal

177 replies

Sjoe456 · 30/07/2019 11:27

So it's a long story.. ok bare with me.

Basically when I was single I slept with a guy on the 25th of may, a one night thing, I took the morning after pill 12 hours after it. So then on the 1st of june I woke up one morning and stood up and felt like a gush and it was dark red. I went and wiped and it was like dark red/pink for the first wipe then after that it was red/dark brown, I'm really sorry for the TMI but I even stood up from toilet and looked on floor and there was red droplets.. then I had to use tampons for 3 days so that was my last bleed and it was a dark brown dark red when using tampons. My period wasnt due until the 12th of june but I read online that the morning after pill can make it come early and even lighter. So.. on the 3rd of june then I got back together with my ex boyfriend (never thought would happen) and we blew caution to the wind and had unprotected sex about 10 times in the space of 4 days from the 3rd-7th of june then it was once everyday from the 7th. The only 2 days we didnt have sex later on was the 16th and 17th of June. So just to be on the safe side that I wasnt pregnant from the 25th of may guy I done clear blue preg tests on the 10th,14th and 18th of June and the one I done on the 18th of June was the weeks indicator and they all came back Negative.. so the very last test I done on the 18th of June would of been 3 weeks and 4 days after I slept with the one night guy. So also around the 14th of june I could of swore I was starting my period as I got little twinges in my ovaries and then around the 23rd of june I got sore boobs.. so then on the 26th of June I done a clear blue pregnancy test and i got my positive and it said pregnant 2-3 weeks.. then a few days later on the 29th of june I done another and it also said 2-3 weeks pregnant. Then on the 3rd of July I done another and it just changed to 3+. On that same day I went and cried to my doctor cause i wasnt sure how far along so i got an early scan and went and she tried to scan my belly and nothing.. then an internal was done and there was just a little sac.. and she said sorry i cant tell u an age (she tried to measure it) and she said come back in 2 weeks so I went on the 16th of july and she measured it and there was a heart beat on screen and she said you are 6 weeks and 1 day.. gestational age?? And it was tiny the baby was only like 0.33cm is she going from last period or is that how old the baby is from conception that confuses me alot.. but basically I want someone to help me as this is stressing me out so much .. when I went to my doctor and told her everything she said I would of got a positive on either the 14th of 18th for definite. And also if it was the one night guy the baby would of been bigger on the scan on the 3rd. Thank u to anyone who took the time to read this x

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 30/07/2019 15:13

It's never okay to want a baby and not care who the father is or the type of person he is.

newmomof1 · 30/07/2019 15:15

@SunshineCake you're making things up.
OP was with her boyfriend for 2 years, split up, got back together and decided they wanted a baby.

The ONS was a mistake during the split and she took the MAP.

ambereeree · 30/07/2019 15:16

@Sjoe456 what's done is done. Your doctor said the dates add up to when you and your bf had sex. I know it's easier said than done but you need to stop worrying.

Sparklypurpleunicornsaremyfav · 30/07/2019 15:24

My god you'd think a lot of people on here live completely perfect lives and have never made a mistake or stupid decision... Op did both, she's held her hands up to it, been honest with her bf and moved on, everybody else needs to get over it
Anyway congratulations on your pregnancy and your engagement, I love that he flew out to meet you and proposed! 😍

DoneLikeAKipper · 30/07/2019 15:25

OP was with her boyfriend for 2 years, split up, got back together and decided they wanted a baby.

No one gets back together with a partner, and within a few hours decide to start trying for a baby. No one with an ounce of sense anyway. Especially since the op said they didn’t think that getting back with said boyfriend would ‘ever happen’.

This isn’t a crappy romance novel (or maybe it is), normal people don’t decide to have a baby on a whim and a bit of lust. The op’s story doesn’t feel wholly truthful in all honesty. Feels like she’s convinced herself she meant to get pregnant by her current boyfriend to excuse the guilt of having a one night stand and a chance of it being that guy’s baby.

SunshineCake · 30/07/2019 15:27

@newmomof1 I'm not making anything up and I can read. I was responding to another posters comment.

newmomof1 · 30/07/2019 15:32

@DoneLikeAKipper I completely agree with you and have said so in previous comments.

I was responding to the comment saying that she didn't care who the baby's dad was and that she just wanted a baby.

buttertoasty · 30/07/2019 15:36

No @Sparklypurpleunicornsaremyfav I don't live a perfect life but I don't get myself in predicaments where I am unsure who has fathered my child. Hmm

There's a stark difference between being imperfect and human and then being reckless and irresponsible.

Instatwat · 30/07/2019 15:36

My god you'd think a lot of people on here live completely perfect lives and have never made a mistake or stupid decision

There is a biiiiiig gap between never making a daft decision or making a mistake, and purposefully deciding to sleep with two men withiur protection within days of each other and then not knowing who the resulting baby belongs to! Wink

A stupid mistake to me is forgetting to put a parking ticket on your car and getting a fine, or buying a 7th jar of mango chutney because for some reason you pick one up every time you go to the supermarket regardless of what’s in the cupboard at home. It is not fucking about with the life of an unborn child and actively choosing to bring them into what could be kindly described as a chaotic environment!

Elliebellbell · 30/07/2019 15:36

Sorry op but with every post you make it sounds like you've been reading The Big Book Of Drama Llama cliches and are trying to shoehorn in as many as you can.

DoneLikeAKipper · 30/07/2019 15:36

I was responding to the comment saying that she didn't care who the baby's dad was and that she just wanted a baby.

We really don’t know the truth of this situation at all. I can’t really blame that poster for speculating as much, the op had a lot of unprotected sex over a month, it sounds like she wanted a baby above all else.

Clusterphuck · 30/07/2019 15:37

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DoneLikeAKipper · 30/07/2019 15:40

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INeedNewShoes · 30/07/2019 15:42

We have both got tested for stis also both all clear

You're either not reading what people are writing here or you're ignoring it. You cannot possibly have the all clear for all STIs at this stage. For one thing, some can't be tested for and can take up to a year to show any symptoms.

You made the decision to try to conceive with a boyfriend you've only just got back together with. You've succeeded. If you want to make this work, the time to grow up starts now.

MaryPoppinsUmberellaHandle · 30/07/2019 15:44

Can't you get false negatives? How can the Dr be so sure that it wasn't this situation? (genuine question by the way)

Thefifthmovement · 30/07/2019 15:45

clusterphuck What a really horrible and backward thing to say. How about not saying anything at all. Ugh !

Yawninfinitum · 30/07/2019 15:49

When children want to have children

You sound so young and dramatic OP.
Things are rock solid and best ever with the boyfriend who a few short weeks ago you were no longer with after a big row?

Why the rush? Would cementing your relationship for a year before you try for a baby have been so hard? Surely you can see why people on here are judging you?

Being a mum is tough. It’s not a fun game it’s hard work and an enormous responsibility.

I really hope it works out for you.

Sjoe456 · 30/07/2019 15:53

Whatever people say what's done is done and nothing can be changed now.

OP posts:
Rainonmyguitar · 30/07/2019 16:03

I'm shocked at how harshly women are still judged for their sexuality

I think it's mostly just on Mumsnet. In real life no-one really gives a shit do they? Mumsnet is a strange place, it's so judgemental and full of sanctimonious biddies.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 30/07/2019 16:03

Ye op
It is was it is
110%

UnicornCat · 30/07/2019 16:04

@Sjoe456

People are so rude on Mumsnet and I think you've been judged harshly.

Big deal, you had a ONS. You weren't to know that you'd get back with your boyfriend. I think the fact you told him everything is great, so many people wouldn't. The dates match up for it to be your boyfriend's baby, get a DNA test to be sure once baby is born but I wouldn't worry about it.

Your "friend" is a shithead and good for you for cutting her out. That's hard to go through too with everything else going on.

Congratulations on your engagement, flying out to you to propose is lovely and so romantic! Sounds like you've got a good guy!

Good luck with your pregnancy, it's hard but so worth it.

I think your baby is going to be very lucky to have you both as parents☺️

chuttypicks · 30/07/2019 16:09

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92AP · 30/07/2019 16:11

Christ, here I am crying into my cereal this morning because af looks like shes arrived and we've been trying for 8 months to no avail, and then this eejit who doesn't know the difference between the words 'of' and 'have' or how to use a condom gets pregnant by accident.

I dispair.

Rainonmyguitar · 30/07/2019 16:11

How about just closing your legs dear

How about opening that closed mind of yours dear.

NoBaggyPants · 30/07/2019 16:17

So you...

Split up
Had a one night stand
Went on holiday
Had an STI test
Had lots of sex
Had a scan
Had another scan
Told a mate
Got Facebook stalked
Fell out with your mate
Got a house together
Bought some ginger biscuits

All in a month.

Have I missed anything?