Need someones help..... bit personal

[Sjoe456]

So it's a long story.. ok bare with me.

Basically when I was single I slept with a guy on the 25th of may, a one night thing, I took the morning after pill 12 hours after it. So then on the 1st of june I woke up one morning and stood up and felt like a gush and it was dark red. I went and wiped and it was like dark red/pink for the first wipe then after that it was red/dark brown, I'm really sorry for the TMI but I even stood up from toilet and looked on floor and there was red droplets.. then I had to use tampons for 3 days so that was my last bleed and it was a dark brown dark red when using tampons. My period wasnt due until the 12th of june but I read online that the morning after pill can make it come early and even lighter. So.. on the 3rd of june then I got back together with my ex boyfriend (never thought would happen) and we blew caution to the wind and had unprotected sex about 10 times in the space of 4 days from the 3rd-7th of june then it was once everyday from the 7th. The only 2 days we didnt have sex later on was the 16th and 17th of June. So just to be on the safe side that I wasnt pregnant from the 25th of may guy I done clear blue preg tests on the 10th,14th and 18th of June and the one I done on the 18th of June was the weeks indicator and they all came back Negative.. so the very last test I done on the 18th of June would of been 3 weeks and 4 days after I slept with the one night guy. So also around the 14th of june I could of swore I was starting my period as I got little twinges in my ovaries and then around the 23rd of june I got sore boobs.. so then on the 26th of June I done a clear blue pregnancy test and i got my positive and it said pregnant 2-3 weeks.. then a few days later on the 29th of june I done another and it also said 2-3 weeks pregnant. Then on the 3rd of July I done another and it just changed to 3+. On that same day I went and cried to my doctor cause i wasnt sure how far along so i got an early scan and went and she tried to scan my belly and nothing.. then an internal was done and there was just a little sac.. and she said sorry i cant tell u an age (she tried to measure it) and she said come back in 2 weeks so I went on the 16th of july and she measured it and there was a heart beat on screen and she said you are 6 weeks and 1 day.. gestational age?? And it was tiny the baby was only like 0.33cm is she going from last period or is that how old the baby is from conception that confuses me alot.. but basically I want someone to help me as this is stressing me out so much .. when I went to my doctor and told her everything she said I would of got a positive on either the 14th of 18th for definite. And also if it was the one night guy the baby would of been bigger on the scan on the 3rd. Thank u to anyone who took the time to read this x

I think the phrase throwing caution to the winds implies that you do something that is uncharacteristic, once, in a moment of madnes, extreme drunkenness or temporary craziness.

I don't think having unprotected sex, many times, loads of times, repeatedly, over a period of weeks , with different partners ,counts as throwing caution to the winds

It always amazes me that so called adults can be so stupid. I know it sounds harsh but come on,not using protection etc and you're 24 🤷🏼‍♀️jeez. Morning after pill etc I mean take some responsibility. You're an adult. Grow up. There are people that struggle to have children that really want them and then there are the people that are just careless and don't think of things like unprotected sex,having to take a morning after pill.

It's OK to want a baby and not be that bothered about the father. However, your boyfriend (if it's his baby) may want to be involved in the upbringing - have you ever discussed parenthood with him? He might run a mile, or he might not.

Kids need more than love - they need stability, a safe home, consistent relationships , food, clothes etc

It doesn’t matter if you’re 24, 44 or anything in between. You can’t be having unprotected sex with a couple of men, then come crying that you don’t know ‘who the daddy’ is. Quite frankly, being this reckless with contraception makes me wonder how you’ve got to 24 (and six partners) without several kids beforehand.

No one can tell you who the father is. Hopefully this experience will start off some common sense, beginning with saving up for a DNA test. Then in future make sure both you and your future partner of choice are both covered before days more of wild, uninhibited shagging.

Lol think I'm bein quite wrongly judged here. I never have unprotected sex with people I was drunk and stupid. Me and my now boyfriend wanted a baby together but I really didnt think it would happen that fast.. I thought it would take a month or two.. doesn't make me a bad person people make mistakes. Me and my now boyfriend live together and are the happiest we have ever been ever. Before we broke up we were together near 2 years. I dont mean this in a cheeky way but if people are going to be nasty then can they just not comment at all? I'm quite stressed out at the minute and I know I should of used protection with one night go therefore that's why I panicked and ran down the next day and got the mornin after pill, because it's so not like me to do that. I dont really need to explain myself to anybody just lookin for advice thanks x

I never have unprotected sex with people I was drunk and stupid.

I can understand the one night stand being a drunken mistake but not (quoted from yourself):

we blew caution to the wind and had unprotected sex about 10 times in the space of 4 days from the 3rd-7th of june then it was once everyday from the 7th.

That was a deliberate act. Were you trying to get pregnant? No woman throws that much ‘caution to the wind’ without understanding there is a chance of pregnancy, so I’m wondering if deep down you were actually hoping to get pregnant.

You can’t tell people not to comment on a public forum where you have asked for help. The baby sounds like your ex’s but a DNA test should be done to make sure. What will you do if it isn’t his baby - have you thought about that? And have you mentioned to your now bf that the baby might/might not be his? I think being 100% honest is super important here, good luck.

OP i think you should count yourself very lucky and use this as a learning experience.

Speaking as someone who shagged aroung A LOT in my early twenties, i somehow escaped STI/Pregnancy free and i thank my lucky stars

now you need to concentrate on looking after yourself and preparing for motherhood (which is amazing but fucking hard work!)

good luck OP

Do you feel like a slag and a bad mother yet... Welcome to Mumsnet! Lol

It would have showed up with the three week test deffinately. The fact that ur doctor has told u it is not the other man's is enough proof she would not have said that otherwise it wouldn't be worth u coming back with a DNA sample. Try and put that out of your head now and focus on looking after yourself and enjoying being pregnant.
Talk to your partner about it be honest and upfront if he doesn't know already and move past it together. People are idiots on here. Because you have unprotected sex you can't look after a child?! Are you people for fucking real. All our mums must be terrible mothers then completely inadequate to care for us. I'm sure you will be a great mum. Also midwives routinely test for HIV and in the past when I have had HIV screening it has come back much quicker than 3 months so don't know where this information is from or whether the testing has changed. Goodluck OP don't let the bastards get you down.

OP - people are harsh on AIBU as you are finding out.
It sounds like your now bf is the father. Congratulations, and good luck.

I think OP knows all this.
It’s easy to sit in judgement.

Inever have unprotected sex with anyone

But you did. With two people. Within days of each other.

I got back together with my ex boyfriend (never thought would happen) and we blew caution to the wind and had unprotected sex about 10 times in the space of 4 days from the 3rd-7th of June

Bloody hell. So you suddenly got back with him and suddenly thought ‘he’s the love of my life, we must have a baby together now’?

What a lot of thought you put into your life decisions... not.

I advise you to buy a book about human biology and read up about your body and how periods and conception work.

Yes, they will test for HIV in pregnancy usually.

Are you sure you want a baby with an on-off boyfriend? 24 is very young to be tied to a man who seems isn't the best for you, given you've already recently broken up.

good luck anyhow.

I'm not judging you for the unprotected sex but I'm judging you for deciding to have a baby straight away after getting back with your ex. Not exactly the best basis for starting a family.

But, if you're both happy that you're having a baby, then congratulations! It does sound like your boyfriend is the dad.

Sounds like baby is definitely your bfs. Try not to stress and enjoy your pregnancy.
On another note... Aibu is not for sensitive folk.

Do they test for HIV through pregnancy?

Round here they don't do it routinely, only if you say there's a risk

Call me old fashioned but.... all that "throwing caution to the wind" and having so much unprotected sex in a space of days sounds like you were trying to get pregnant. Perhaps it would have been polite to discuss this decision with your (ex?)boyfriend first????

No we did say if it happens it happens we kind of were trying to get pregnant I didnt think it would happen that quickly tho.. if I'm completely honest I know that is stupid but I really thought it would take a month or two, and didnt think we would be havin sex as much haha..

To the previous poster called skittlenommer I appreciate u taking the time to read my post but it must be so great for you to be fucking perfect musnt it?? Yes the 25th of may guy shouldn't of happened but it has and I've already got checked for any STIs and I'm as clean as a fuckin whistle. Just because I slept with someone (that I know) might I add doesnt take away my ability to be a good mother it will be hard but I will give every drop of love I have to this baby. I've slept with about 6 people my whole life and I'm 24.

You are very ill informed regarding STId, for your sexual wellbeing you need to educate yourself.

@purplelass I got tested for all sorts during pregnancy including HIV (not that there was a risk of anything). Maybe it just depends on your trust

For me it’s fairly obvious it is your ex-partner (now boyfriend)’s and that your current cycle started on 1st June when you bled normally/heavily for three days. Your cycle at that point changed after taking the MAP.

Scan dates are also normally right within a margin of 5 days either side, and that does not fit with the one night stand date.

Hope that helps OP.

I only got the all clear a few days ago.. I went to the local gum clinic just to be on the safe side and the doctor told me that the HIV test will of shown up from the 25th of may and I got all negative.. i understand people thibkin its mad that we tried for a baby as soon as we got back but we both said about it not just me, we wanted a baby for ages, then sadly we broke up over somethin stupid and I was on holiday with girls and was having a shit time so he flew out to me and we met at the airport and he proposed to me. (Aww) I really didnt think it would happen that quick though thought it would be a good month or so! We now live together and are happy

we did say if it happens it happens we kind of were trying to get pregnant I didnt think it would happen that quickly tho.. if I'm completely honest I know that is stupid but I really thought it would take a month or two

That's a very honest answer OP, and I'm glad to hear that you "kind of" wanted this baby. Congratulations and I wish you and your boyfriend well. For your child's sake, I hope he's on board, for the sake of the child's future.

But honestly, please please don't be so naive again regards how long it might take to conceive, and please share your story with your friends. You are gambling with pregnancy EVERY TIME YOU HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX. END OF.