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AIBU?

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Original poster

Need someones help..... bit personal

177 replies

Sjoe456 · 30/07/2019 11:27

So it's a long story.. ok bare with me.

Basically when I was single I slept with a guy on the 25th of may, a one night thing, I took the morning after pill 12 hours after it. So then on the 1st of june I woke up one morning and stood up and felt like a gush and it was dark red. I went and wiped and it was like dark red/pink for the first wipe then after that it was red/dark brown, I'm really sorry for the TMI but I even stood up from toilet and looked on floor and there was red droplets.. then I had to use tampons for 3 days so that was my last bleed and it was a dark brown dark red when using tampons. My period wasnt due until the 12th of june but I read online that the morning after pill can make it come early and even lighter. So.. on the 3rd of june then I got back together with my ex boyfriend (never thought would happen) and we blew caution to the wind and had unprotected sex about 10 times in the space of 4 days from the 3rd-7th of june then it was once everyday from the 7th. The only 2 days we didnt have sex later on was the 16th and 17th of June. So just to be on the safe side that I wasnt pregnant from the 25th of may guy I done clear blue preg tests on the 10th,14th and 18th of June and the one I done on the 18th of June was the weeks indicator and they all came back Negative.. so the very last test I done on the 18th of June would of been 3 weeks and 4 days after I slept with the one night guy. So also around the 14th of june I could of swore I was starting my period as I got little twinges in my ovaries and then around the 23rd of june I got sore boobs.. so then on the 26th of June I done a clear blue pregnancy test and i got my positive and it said pregnant 2-3 weeks.. then a few days later on the 29th of june I done another and it also said 2-3 weeks pregnant. Then on the 3rd of July I done another and it just changed to 3+. On that same day I went and cried to my doctor cause i wasnt sure how far along so i got an early scan and went and she tried to scan my belly and nothing.. then an internal was done and there was just a little sac.. and she said sorry i cant tell u an age (she tried to measure it) and she said come back in 2 weeks so I went on the 16th of july and she measured it and there was a heart beat on screen and she said you are 6 weeks and 1 day.. gestational age?? And it was tiny the baby was only like 0.33cm is she going from last period or is that how old the baby is from conception that confuses me alot.. but basically I want someone to help me as this is stressing me out so much .. when I went to my doctor and told her everything she said I would of got a positive on either the 14th of 18th for definite. And also if it was the one night guy the baby would of been bigger on the scan on the 3rd. Thank u to anyone who took the time to read this x

OP posts:
Original poster
Sjoe456 · 30/07/2019 13:14

@emmapeeler thank u. That means alot . If it also helps anything I forgot to mention they gave me a due date roughly of 4th-7th of March they just said around that but havent got an exact due date yet x

OP posts:
Original poster
Sjoe456 · 30/07/2019 13:18

@SafferUpNorth thank you no we definitly did I was just shocked at how quickly.. spose what did I expect when we had sex literally like 10 times in the space of few days. Guess we missed each other lol.. but we were happy. He took on another job for more money and is so protective over me now I'm pregnant . Has a cupboard full of ginger nuts and ginger ale the wee darlin haha

OP posts:
FlyingTingTing · 30/07/2019 13:21

Out of interest does he know about the one night stand?

plasterboots · 30/07/2019 13:21

@SafferUpNorth thank you no we definitly did I was just shocked at how quickly.. spose what did I expect when we had sex literally like 10 times in the space of few days. Guess we missed each other lol.. but we were happy. He took on another job for more money and is so protective over me now I'm pregnant . Has a cupboard full of ginger nuts and ginger ale the wee darlin haha

This is not what real life is like or about........

Emmapeeler · 30/07/2019 13:21

OP they have probably given you an estimate at this stage because you will get the official date at your dating scan at 12 weeks.

I hope it all goes well for you.

plasterboots · 30/07/2019 13:21

*bold fail

Rubyrubyrubyrhubarb · 30/07/2019 13:26

Also midwives routinely test for HIV and in the past when I have had HIV screening it has come back much quicker than 3 months so don't know where this information is from or whether the testing has changed.

whereeaglesdare my understanding is once you have the hiv virus your body will start to produce antibodies to fight it and it takes 3+ months for the antibodies to be produced and built up to a level that is detectable by the modern test.

A blood test in itself will take 24hrs to do/receive results but for hiv I'm sure it's not until after several months that you can say 'we detect no hiv antibodies in your blood, if you had the disease your body would have produced levels detectable by our tests by now.'

Anyway I understood the concern PP are raising but feel the delivery is a bit harsh on OP.

Millie2018 · 30/07/2019 13:26

@FlyingTingTing you took the words right out of my mouth
OP you will need a DNA test when the baby arrives to be sure.

HaileySherman · 30/07/2019 13:34

Gestational age confuses people because I believe it includes like 2 weeks of your cycle in which you really aren't pregnant (your egg is travelling but not fertilized, i.e. not met with the sperm yet). It sounds to me like your encounter mid-June is the one in which you conceived. Obviously this can be a murky area, but if I were you, I'd ask for that clarification from your doctor, and if they agree, then relax and try to enjoy your experience as much as you can. A baby that is desired and loved is something to celebrate! Try to push any negativity out of your mind.

Taichipandas · 30/07/2019 13:34

Congratulations to you and your fiancée on your pregnancy op Flowers

TinglyRain · 30/07/2019 13:41

You have been reckless. All the 'Lol' and 'Aww' just make you look silly.

You should have put your brain into gear before you had sex unprotected with 2 different men within days of each other.

Original poster
Sjoe456 · 30/07/2019 13:41

I went to my doctor twice and she said I would of got a positive test on the 18th.. that was 3 weeks and 4 days after I was with him, and yeah I told my boyfriend and isnt it just lucky I did because I confided in a "friend" and told her .. and she then told her brother and her boyfriend.. and then a few days later someone made a fake facebook profile with a made up name and messaged my boyfriend saying "hey mate just to let you know *** is telling her friend shes not sure who the dad is just incase u didnt know" and I had already told him a few days before this and he said to me "look we were at the scan together and we done all them tests together (me and him sat on the toilet and done the tests on the 14th and the 18th together) and I also told him about what my doctor said. So basically yeah I thought I could confide in a friend and she ended up telling people so she is now cut out of my life. The day of the scan I got a due date roughly she said itl be 4th-7th of march if that helps anything

OP posts:
Sjoe456 · 30/07/2019 13:43

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TinglyRain · 30/07/2019 13:43

Wow you all sound so grown up not

newmomof1 · 30/07/2019 13:46

I would stop talking to friends you can't trust as well OP.

Most people choose not to tell people until the 12 week scan and your friend appears to think it's ok to gossip about you.

You got angry with posters for judging you - have you been just as angry with your friend?

HaileySherman · 30/07/2019 13:46

Wow I just went back and read all the replies and want to add that I think some are judging you harshly. It sucks that given the timing of everything you needed to question for a minute the paternity, but you didn't do anything wrong. I'm shocked at how harshly women are still judged for their sexuality. I think it's great to see women embrace their sexuality, even if mistakes are occasionally made (no one's bloody perfect!). I don't think your experiences are out of the ordinary or put you in any exclusive slag club. It's the people up on their high horses that seem to be the loudest, but believe me, they are in fact a minority.

TinglyRain · 30/07/2019 13:49

I don't think it's me that needs to wise up to be honest.

You throw around insults and tell people who don't agree with you not to comment. It's a sad situation and you're going to bring a child into it, I think before this baby arrives you need to wise up.

Kerrywerrywoo1 · 30/07/2019 13:52

If you don’t use protection - you ARE trying for a baby.

It’s a simple as that.

What were you thinking? Cmon. You must look after yourself better hun.

DoneLikeAKipper · 30/07/2019 13:53

You have a lot of drama in your life, OP Hmm.

itstimeforslime · 30/07/2019 13:55

I expect to see a thread around April/May time with someone in a panic about the paternity of their baby I’ll know it’s you.

In all seriousness, you need to;

Tell your current partner the predicament
Get a DNA test as soon as the baby is born
Not be so gung Ho about your sexual health

HTH

AcrossthePond55 · 30/07/2019 13:56

There is a pre-natal noninvasive DNA test using the mother's blood and a DNA sample (swab) from the prospective father. So you could do a test now and set your mind at rest.

But how are you going to get a sample from him without telling him about your ONS?

BeanBag7 · 30/07/2019 13:58

I have an (estimated) due date of March 12th and conceived on or around 20th June. If your date is 7th March you conceived on or around 15th June.
Almost certainly your boyfriend's since you took MAP and had a period after one night stand guy. Congrats.

I do think it's somewhat irresponsible to try for a baby the first week back together with someone who you had broken up with over something silly. I would personally be careful about being over invested and make sure you have your own means of supporting your baby in case you break up again.
Also I would dump your friend and dont tell anyone else about the baby until you've had a 12 weeks scan.

Playmytune · 30/07/2019 14:00

Op can I ask if you had unprotected sex with your ex in case you were pregnant after Ons? I wondered if you were worried that you could be pregnant and thought that if you were you could just let ex think the baby was his! I’m not being judgemental as I’m sure this is causing you a lot of anguish.

The baby is almost certainly your now fiance’s. Don’t worry about it anymore, no point in stressing like this. Ignore the judgemental posters. They have no right to question your ability to bring up a baby.
Best of luck and enjoy your baby when it comes.

Instatwat · 30/07/2019 14:02

Christ alive this whole thread is a car crash.

Username9641 · 30/07/2019 14:05

As some have already said about STI possibilities - if you were broken up he may have also been with other people (might not be honest with you about that of course) and he could then pass something on to you - some STIs can cause severe problems for or kill the foetus so you do need to be extra careful about that.

I wasn't routinely tested by the NHS for HIV when I got pregnant- I know you said you've been to GUM clinic but BF may have passed on an STI to you since then (it can sometimes take a few "goes" for STI to be passed on!).