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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a go at DH for being mins late

488 replies

Chickpea99 · 25/07/2019 21:04

So I was amongst unlucky train commuters today and spent 2,5 hours in three trains - overcrowden, insanely hot.
On last leg of journey called DH and told exact time to pick me up. Actually told to come few mins earlier.
I finally arrived - and surprise - DH is not there.
We live 3mins drive from station.
He artives 8mins after I arrived at station. On my question what took him so long I receive cold ‘sorry’ and he says he was vacuuming a car at petrol station.
So he decided that vacuuming car was the top priority and also he did not bother to notify me he is running late.
I had a go at him as it is not first time. He has no sense of urgency and although 8mins is not horribly long, what angers me is attitude.
He says if he wouldnt vacuum the car - theI would be angry. So basically pushing it back on me.
I can not say how angry I am and basically this is going to ruin my weekend - as I can not talk to him atm.

OP posts:
Gindrinker43 · 25/07/2019 21:06

You probably need to get a grip. With that sort of attitude I would have let you walk home.

noblegiraffe · 25/07/2019 21:07

I think you are hot and bothered from a horrible journey and need to chill out and relax rather than blow your top over something minor. The horrible journey isn’t your DH’s fault, you’re just focusing on his bit.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 25/07/2019 21:07

Hi OP

Unless there is a backstory and you are 6+ months pregnant or disabled or have a chronic health condition, 3 min drive is 10- 5 min walk. So you didn't need a lift you wanted one. 8 min is nothing. I think YABU to get a lift on such a short journey

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 25/07/2019 21:07

gawd the heat is getting to you...go have a cool shower and calm the fuck down.

raspberryk · 25/07/2019 21:07

If it's only 3 mins you should have walked if it bothered you, if I was running late for collecting my dp by 5 mins and he made that fuss I'd kick him out the damn car.

Arnoldthecat · 25/07/2019 21:08

Life can be stressful for everyone but sometimes you just have to bite your tongue for the greater good. Maybe there is more going on than just a late pickup..

MrsMozartMkII · 25/07/2019 21:08

Hot, tired and frustrated.

Time to cool off and chill. Not the time to lose it over this one.

Patchworksack · 25/07/2019 21:09

It sounds like you had a horrible journey and must be really fed up but YABVU.

JonSlow · 25/07/2019 21:09

Wow

Walnutwhipster · 25/07/2019 21:10

The heat has left you frazzled. It was eight minutes!

LemonRedwood · 25/07/2019 21:10

YABU. You didn't really need a lift at all and there was no need to "have a go" at him. Would you also have been annoyed if the car was not vacuumed? If you're going to let this ruin your weekend I think you have some deeper issues with anger and resentment.

Geminijes · 25/07/2019 21:10

So you had to wait all of 8 minutes....poor you!

I feel sorry for your husband to have a wife with your attitude. He was doing you a favour collecting you to save you from walking and you moan at him.

If it's going to ruin your week-end then I would seriously think about getting help to control your anger.

TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan · 25/07/2019 21:10

Wow YABU, he was EIGHT minutes after your train arrived. As PPs have said it's not far, walk.

kidsmakesomuchwashing · 25/07/2019 21:12

Erm 3 min drive - why didn't you walk! Bit lazy!

Sciurus83 · 25/07/2019 21:12

It's a THREE minute drive?! Errrrr......YABU

BlondeBumshelll · 25/07/2019 21:12

YABVU he came to get you when you could have walked if you were able enough.

My partner is always late and it drives me mad but I wouldn't fall out with him and ruin my weekend over 8 minutes.

Windygate · 25/07/2019 21:12

Chickpea99 when did DH become your slave? You do understand how controlling and abusive this makes you sound

Teddy1970 · 25/07/2019 21:13

If this was a man moaning about a woman being late then everyone would be calling him a controlling dick..

00100001 · 25/07/2019 21:14

Bloody hell love.

Settle down.

Go and apologise to your DH.

Blame it on the heat if you must.

Teddy1970 · 25/07/2019 21:14

Cross post Windygate

feathermucker · 25/07/2019 21:15

Surely you're not being serious?!

8 minutes?!

PinkBlossomInSummer · 25/07/2019 21:16

Poor buggar was 8 mins late and was worried you’d be angry at him not vacuuming the car 😳

Jeezo OP, do you fly into these rages often?

You could have walked home FFS.

sneakypinky · 25/07/2019 21:17

Are you disabled?

Submariner · 25/07/2019 21:17

Yeah sorry mate - we don't have a car so getting a lift for a three minute drive is not an option (really - 3 minutes!!).

The delayed train journey I can sympathize with but not your husband's part in it. I'd be pretty pissed off if I collected my spouse and he complained about an 8 minute wait.

What if your train had been delayed by a further 8 minutes. We're you happy to let him wait in the car for you?

sneakypinky · 25/07/2019 21:17

By which I mean physically unable to walk short distances.