To have a go at DH for being mins late

[Chickpea99]

So I was amongst unlucky train commuters today and spent 2,5 hours in three trains - overcrowden, insanely hot.
On last leg of journey called DH and told exact time to pick me up. Actually told to come few mins earlier.
I finally arrived - and surprise - DH is not there.
We live 3mins drive from station.
He artives 8mins after I arrived at station. On my question what took him so long I receive cold ‘sorry’ and he says he was vacuuming a car at petrol station.
So he decided that vacuuming car was the top priority and also he did not bother to notify me he is running late.
I had a go at him as it is not first time. He has no sense of urgency and although 8mins is not horribly long, what angers me is attitude.
He says if he wouldnt vacuum the car - theI would be angry. So basically pushing it back on me.
I can not say how angry I am and basically this is going to ruin my weekend - as I can not talk to him atm.

My neighbour's friend just got shot in the street in Syria. They'd known each other since they were 10. DH a few minutes late = first world problems.

My DH was driving a train today that was 1.5 hours late back. I was sat waiting to go out. It's ruined my whole YEAR!

Hope you had a shower by now, a cold beer or wine and it's all forgotten.

Annoying, yes, but you are massively over-reacting.

Yabu

If I'm doing a favour picking the OH up for a local journey such as this I don't allow any contingency. Sometimes that means I'm not there to pick him up as soon as he arrives but as he's the one getting the favour I don't think it's unfair that he has to wait a few minutes. I'm not a chauffeur.

Wow if my DP sulked like you did I'd have walked out a long time ago. Pick your battle OP, this is really not worth the sulking or the upset

I'm not a late person. You either are or you aren't. I don't keep people waiting because it's rude. People that do, are rude. It's quite simple

What on Earth do you do when you go for supper at someone’s house? I have a funny image of the ‘can’t be late brigade’ pitching up at 7:30pm, as suggested by the invitation, to find the hosts still in their underwear. Very, very rude to be on time.

@maloofhoof wait! So it's rude to be late? It took OP 2.5 hours to get home. She was late home! What if her DH had been waiting for her to go out somewhere? OP's is sending a very clear message that her time is more important than his! He should drop everything just because OP snapped her fingers because clearly her time is important. @00100001 I agree what a load of bollocks!

It would piss me off too OP, bad enough having a horrible long journey like that and car can be hoovered anytime. Its very inconsiderate.
I;d have been livid too but then my ex was always selfish and always late for everything.

I think you are getting a bit of a hard time here

No matter how unreasonable an OP is, someone ALWAYS has to jump in with this.

This OP is getting a thoroughly deserved 'hard time.' If this was a man posting that he'd given his female partner a bollocking for being 8 minutes late to pick him up from the station and threatened to stew over it and 'ruin the weekend' etc., he would be vilified and warned of red flags, control etc.

Wait? So it's not rude to be late? That's a bizarre way to live. You're clearly a late person with excuses coming out of your arse. It's generally accepted that being late is rude.

It's rude to arrive on time what a total crock of shit

You sound abusive OP. You are fuming because he was a few minutes late, you won’t talk to him now because you are so angry, he was worried you’d be angry if he hadn’t vacuumed the car...if the genders were reversed people would be really concerned.

maloofhoof. It’s incredibly bad form to turn up to someone’s house at the time stated on the invitation. It would certainly result in some teasing about breakfast being served and a bowl of cornflakes might appear. Please tell me you don’t hover on the driveway waiting to hear the entrance hall clock chime the half hour before ringing the bell?

It's rude to arrive on time grin what a total crock of shit

Obviously, manners are your forte...

Of course there are occasions when being precisely on time is socially clunky, if not rude exactly. I can't remember a single dinner party when every guest turned up at the dot of 7.30.

Given the exceptional heat today& yr very long journey I think yr DP should have got there on time or early for you. Vacuuming the car was not urgent. I can understand you being pissed off but hope it doesn’t ruin your whole w/end.

YABU and I'll be kind and put it down to you being hot, bothered and over tired.

You are fuming because he was a few minutes late, you won’t talk to him now because you are so angry, he was worried you’d be angry if he hadn’t vacuumed the car...if the genders were reversed people would be really concerned

This, in spades^

@maloofhoof for your education

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/mar/28/new-rules-dinner-party-ditch-napkins-take-cool-bag

Grow up.

Yeah ruin the weekend OP and be miserable next week too

@CherryPavlova yes you're hilarious, that's exactly what I do, you're being pedantic, you know exactly what point I'm making.
You know as well as I do that being perpetually late is rude. It's not ok to be late for work, interviews, GP/hospital appointments, dinner reservations, meeting up with friends. Being late is rude full stop.

@NeckPainChairSearch we're not discussing dinner parties?! OP's annoyance is that he's often late. Which is selfish and rude.

Reverse? No one could be this unreasonable surely

@YouJustDoYou
I’m very sorry to hear about your neighbours friend 😪🌷

OP you have an issue that needs sorting out. It’s either that your DH doesnt really care about you OR you have stress/anger issues, but make this the time you get them sorted out!