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Original poster

SO much cheating

179 replies

Somuchcheating · 22/07/2019 16:33

Feeling a bit floored about how much cheating I’ve recently found out is going on amongst people I know

Don’t think this is just my circle is it? The below are a mix of friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, friends of friends etc

Just a few examples -

High up local official, family man, currently sleeping with three women other than his wife

Married man with baby engaging in gay foursomes of a weekend

Friend of dh having affair, wife oblivious

Married Woman at work sleeping with our mutual colleague, everyone but her dh knows

Don’t consider myself particularly naive but was really shocked at just how much cheating is going on, and know for a fact their other halves are clueless

Makes me both Sad and 😡

OP posts:
Original poster
Somuchcheating · 22/07/2019 18:03

Guess I am bu then 😂

OP posts:
snackarella · 22/07/2019 18:04

It always shocks me too. I cannot believe that it goes on so much. Maybe we are all naive? Maybe my husband is sleeping around even though I'd say he's not 'the type' to.
I guess no one really knows do they 🤷🏼‍♀️

daisyboocantoo · 22/07/2019 18:06

I just don't think about it. Head down, concentrating on my own marriage.

Paramicha · 22/07/2019 18:08

What surprises me more is how many women get with these men after their wives leave them. Then they live a life of insecurity because they got with a cheater.

Mummadeeze · 22/07/2019 18:08

Wow! I don’t know anyone who is cheating! Maybe they are but no one has owned up to it. That would shock me too.

Mintjulia · 22/07/2019 18:08

Depressing isn’t it.

It means if you have a genuinely kind, honest & decent partner, they are worth hanging on to. Smile

NoBaggyPants · 22/07/2019 18:13

That's an awful lot of drama for one group of friends.

Almost like a Daily Mail story!

Brownwool · 22/07/2019 18:16

I'm not remotely surprised. The number of married men who've come on to me since I got divorced....Hmm

SimonJT · 22/07/2019 18:19

My ex is the only person I know in real life who has cheated, there could of course be more who haven’t been found out.

MitziK · 22/07/2019 18:25

Have you considered a job outside the House of Commons?

Bountylisa7 · 22/07/2019 18:26

For every cheat you know about there will be many more you don’t! Cheaters are actually often very good at covering their tracks.

BuffaloCauliflower · 22/07/2019 18:28

I think over the course of a long life and marriage, it’s more normal to cheat in some way than not. We’re living longer than ever, I think we need to start being more realistic about what’s being asked of in life’s long monogamy when people regularly live to 80+

BuffaloCauliflower · 22/07/2019 18:28

In life long monogamy*

hazandduck · 22/07/2019 18:30

Meh, it doesn’t surprise me. I find genuine loyalty/faithfulness more surprising.

YouJustDoYou · 22/07/2019 18:31

WHat used to shock me more was the men who would otherwise have been described by absolutely anyone who knew them as wonderful, kind, decent, etc etc human being you could ever meet. And they turn out to be shagging Tracy from Marketing whilst seeing Jim from Grindr in his office lunch hours. Etc.

YouJustDoYou · 22/07/2019 18:31

I find genuine loyalty/faithfulness more surprising

^^ This.

Opossooom · 22/07/2019 18:32

It’s scary isn’t it :(

RamIt · 22/07/2019 18:38

Everyone thinks their husband or wife is not the type, until they find out they are. That's why people are genuinely devastated when it comes out.

No one truly knows another person, you only see what they let you see.

It's gutting to know that loyalty and faithfulness are definitely becoming less the norm, or maybe I was just naive and it's always been this way.

RushianDisney · 22/07/2019 18:41

Doesn't shock me at all. Marriage until death do us part was a lot easier when people only lived until their 40s and men and women led very separate lives. The decline of religion has allowed people to be free of the shackles of 'sin and spend eternity in hell'. Add in the internet, Tinder etc and it's a recipe for affairs. Plus the number of people who are financially unable to split with partners nowadays when housing costs are so high are bound to look for something to make their exsistence more palatable.

rickandmorts · 22/07/2019 18:44

The biggest shock of adult life for me was that most people cheat and most people do drugs.

ReasonablyIntelligent · 22/07/2019 18:47

Well this is depressing

Cuddlysnowleopard · 22/07/2019 18:51

I'm not remotely shocked. I'm more shocked by friends I know who say it never happens/wouldn't happen to them.

lolaflores · 22/07/2019 18:51

Someone I know casually remarked on a mutual friend seeing a married man for years who wont leave wife. I was really shocked.
Then another person I know is a proper dog..male. been playing away all over the small town. No fucks given about discretion. Either wife is very naive or isn't about to pull him on it.
Another friend made the same comment about married men hitting on her since her divorce.
MN has opened my eyes to the potential of it happening like a bolt from the blue.
It made me realise ex dp was at it but had gaslighted me at the time.
I had been suspicious but over time put the pieces together and am 99% positive that his sudden disappearance was not what he painted it to be.

hazandduck · 22/07/2019 18:53

@rickandmorts yep I remember that revelation about drugs!

CookPassBabtridge · 22/07/2019 18:53

Not sure it's more common now.. people used to have mistresses or bored housewives having a bit on the side. We probably hear of it a lot more now. I just don't think alot of people are meant to be with one person for a long period of time, but the cheating aspect is really shitty. People need to start being honest about their inability to be faithful and come to an agreement about both being able to sleep with others.