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Original poster

SO much cheating

179 replies

Somuchcheating · 22/07/2019 16:33

Feeling a bit floored about how much cheating I’ve recently found out is going on amongst people I know

Don’t think this is just my circle is it? The below are a mix of friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, friends of friends etc

Just a few examples -

High up local official, family man, currently sleeping with three women other than his wife

Married man with baby engaging in gay foursomes of a weekend

Friend of dh having affair, wife oblivious

Married Woman at work sleeping with our mutual colleague, everyone but her dh knows

Don’t consider myself particularly naive but was really shocked at just how much cheating is going on, and know for a fact their other halves are clueless

Makes me both Sad and 😡

OP posts:
CookPassBabtridge · 22/07/2019 18:55

Oh and you only have to sign up to online dating as a woman and get tons of messages from married men.

rickandmorts · 22/07/2019 18:55

@hazandduck not just a bit of weed too, cocaine is a part of their normal every day lives!!

Jaffacakebeast · 22/07/2019 19:03

I could count on 1 hand the couples I know who I believe have been faithful, the rest I know 100% at least 1 person of the couple haven’t been. It’s gross

isabellerossignol · 22/07/2019 19:07

I don't know any couples in my circle of friends or neighbours where I am aware of one of them cheating. But I've certainly come across a few cheaters. They have nearly all been wealthy alpha male types and their wives seem happy to pretend not to notice it. It used to blow my mind as it seemed so humiliating but then I realised that financial security is hard to step away from, so I suppose that's why they tolerate it.

wheresmymojo · 22/07/2019 19:15

I don't know anyone in my circle of friends who has cheated on their OH.

I've never cheated on my OH either.

Also, none of us do any kind of drugs. I'm probably talking about 15 or so people who are close enough that I would likely know (definitely about drugs, probably about cheating).

I did some soft drugs up until about late 20's and very occasionally (less than once a year). Not since then.

Perhaps it's ages? Cheating and drugs would have been a thing in our 20s but not now in our mid 30s and up.

wheresmymojo · 22/07/2019 19:18

...but yes to having come across cheaters. And also yes to them being 'alpha male' types.

Dated a few in my late 20's when I thought that was my 'type' and then realised what kind of marriage/life I would have with them - only loyal to themselves, selfish, need to continue to feel 'special' and 'adored'. The fundamentals for being life long cheaters are there from the start.

Fireandflames666 · 22/07/2019 19:19

It's the same with people I know too. It's depressing to see but I guess it's what people do now days?.

Since becoming single every male friend has sent me dodgy messages and I've had to block them for it.

RogueV · 22/07/2019 19:23

Yup not surprised

Very depressing

Original poster
Somuchcheating · 22/07/2019 19:26

I just feel for the spouses, it’s so humiliating. How depressing it’s so rife.

OP posts:
OhNoooNotAgain · 22/07/2019 19:27

Brownwool "I'm not remotely surprised. The number of married men who've come on to me since I got divorced...."

Yes!!!

This is spades! I discovered this between my divorce and meeting my DP.

Chosennone · 22/07/2019 19:33

I think it's pretty rife. I know a few 'happily marrieds' who have drunken fumbles/one nighters if they can get away with it.
I know of one or two who go out of the way to look for it and cover their tracks very well. I do think there is a lot of 'turning a blind eye'.

Siameasy · 22/07/2019 19:36

It’s rife. We go to Butlins 80s/90s weekends and it goes on there. Women up to no good as much as men.

Crazybunnylady123 · 22/07/2019 19:42

I’ve never cheated on my partner and I never would and he wouldn’t cheat on me. The more men I meet the more I appreciate my fiancé.
Not everyone cheats. You only hear the bad stuff!

MissPollyHadADolly19 · 22/07/2019 19:45

Cheating aside, I'm shocked at finding out how many married people I know who go to swingers clubs/meets with their OHs - and dogging!

IndieTara · 22/07/2019 20:01

@MissPollyHadADolly19 well you know consenting adults and all that

Stoptheworldpleasethankyou · 22/07/2019 20:57

It’s easier now. Most relationships one partner will cheat. Also more couples are open to playing away, there is even fetish groups for partners having sex with others and filling in the wife’s/husbands after for sexual kicks.

Honestly a discreet affair and no risk of stds or surprise babies is the best most can hope for.

There are groups of Facebook for women being hit on by married men and those looking for unicorns or those lookingto take part with Cuckolds. Married sugar daddies paying thousands per month for chat. 90year old men some of them.

Stoptheworldpleasethankyou · 22/07/2019 20:58

I used to say my partner would never cheat on me didn’t have the time. Then he did. Don’t be so blind sighted.

OrangeJustice · 22/07/2019 21:03

I have a gay male friend and the amount of “happily” married “straight” men he hooks up with astounds me. He’s fairly promiscuous (and single) and a vast majority of his sexual partners have an oblivious wife or girlfriend waiting for them at home.

SimonJT · 22/07/2019 21:04

@OrangeJustice He isn’t the only one, lots of places are flooded with ‘straight’ men about an hour before closing time.

Crazybunnylady123 · 22/07/2019 21:31

@Stoptheworldpleasethankyou
If your talking to me I’m not blind sighted. I’m just very lucky. This thread is so sad seriously, maybe the majority of people cheat but not everyone does! If I didn’t trust my partner what would be the point!

CallmeAngelina · 22/07/2019 21:33

I don't know anyone who's cheating.
None of our friends or family is divorced, either.

Iwantacookie · 22/07/2019 21:43

It seems more common now.
My one ex friend was bragging how she spent the night before her wedding with another man Shock

Its the dc I feel sorry for. They don't need the stress and fallout that comes with it.

PawPawNoodle · 22/07/2019 21:45

Neither me or my partner are cheating and honestly I don't know anyone who is! The drugs one is true though I'd probably be joining them if I could

DramaRamaLlama · 22/07/2019 21:52

'Years ago when working as a lawyer there wasn't a single man in the building without a bit on the side.

I always wondered what the attraction was: I suppose they had a bit of money and varying degrees of success but most were fairly charmless middle aged men.

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/07/2019 21:53

It’s always happened. Indeed, until relatively recently, it was always assumed that men would have mistresses, liaisons and visit prostitutes. Women less so, but that’s patriarchy for you, rather than anything else.

Virtually everyone I know well socially (and we’re taking in excess of a hundred and fifty people, working in all kinds of professions, in varying family set ups) is non-monogamous. Monogamy just isn’t realistic for a lit of people. May as well be open and honest about it.