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AIBU?

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Original poster

Small bedroom, bad mum?

263 replies

tashakg89 · 21/07/2019 09:18

So I've got a (small)three bed house and ever since I moved in there five years ago I've had horrendous anxiety over the little bedroom, it is 5'11 by 6'9, the second bedroom is fairly small too (9'10 by 7'9) although I'm ok with that size and is plenty big enough for my six year old. My four year old is in the tiny box room and I feel constant guilt and daily anxiety about it. I can't afford to move and won't be doing so for another 4-5 years but I just want to enjoy my house and I can't as I feel like everyone's laughing at me and thinking I'm a bad mum for putting him in a such small bedroom.
I'm constantly on Rightmove too comparing it to other box bedrooms and it really is the smallest one I've ever seen.

What do other people think? Does anyone else have children in tiny bedrooms?

OP posts:
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7
Tamsyn143 · 21/07/2019 09:20

Of course we do!! X

Grimbles · 21/07/2019 09:24

If they are the same sex and it really bothers you that much, why not put them in the same room for sleeping and give them the other to share as a playroom/sleepover room if they have friends to stay?

Amibeingdaft81 · 21/07/2019 09:24

How much time does your 4 year old spend in his bedroom other than sleeping?!

OP this is not something to feel even the teeniest tiniest bit guilty about

64sNewName · 21/07/2019 09:24

I have a 12yo in a very small room. He’ll probably still be in there when he reaches six feet tall. It is what it is, we love him and we make it as pleasant a space as we can with good storage and stuff and it’s what we have. 🤷‍♀️

Nobody who isn’t a pointless knob of a person will be laughing at you for the size of your child’s room.

YouFellAsleeep · 21/07/2019 09:25

You’re not a bad mum. Your 4 year old has a roof over their head and their own room, don’t put yourself down.

negomi90 · 21/07/2019 09:26

I had a tiny room when I was 4 to 11. Didn't bother me at all, I just played and kept toys in the living room.

Letthemysterybe · 21/07/2019 09:27

Box rooms are pretty common. My youngest is in the box room, just like I once was, and I feel no guilt.

SingingMyOwnSpecialSong · 21/07/2019 09:28

Almost exactly the same size as my four year olds room. She loves it. A lot of her toys are stored in the living room, and she mostly plays in there even when friends are round. She just has her bed (with big toys underneath), a wardrobe and a bookshelf in there. Suspect i’ll get her a high sleeper with desk, etc under it when she is older.

TiredSloth · 21/07/2019 09:29

Who exactly do you think is laughing at you?! You do realise there are families in one bedroom flats where everyone shares a bedroom?

If it worries you that much why don’t you take the middle sized bedroom and put the two children together in the biggest?

SingingMyOwnSpecialSong · 21/07/2019 09:30

My own room is only about 10’ by 8’ btw. Clever storage, sticking to light colours and sensible furniture placement makes it work fine.

AbbieDabbieDoo · 21/07/2019 09:30

Between the ages of 3 and 12 I had a really small bedroom (it was also supposed to be a box room). I loved it! When I was about 9 my parents offered to move things around so that I could have a bigger room as I think like you, they felt bad that ibhad such a small room. I didn't want to change though - they'd let me decorate it as I wanted and I honestly never once felt put out that my younger brother ended up with a much bigger room than I had. Don't worry about it - no one will be thinking badly of you and your kids are lucky to have a room each as many don't

Heulog · 21/07/2019 09:31

It absolutely doesn't matter.
My youngest has a teeny tiny bedroom, there's no way we could afford to move, he has a cabin bed to maximise floor space (small wall mounted tv & beanbag under the bed for relaxing on) and we've made it bright and colourful. I don't feel at all guilty, he likes his own little space. try to let it go OP.

AJPTaylor · 21/07/2019 09:31

Why do you feel like that though? You must logically know that your child is loved and happy and has his own space?

TiredSloth · 21/07/2019 09:33

And I must add that my two share the box room which is almost exactly the same size as yours so that they can use the bigger room as a play room!

SlightlySleepy · 21/07/2019 09:33

We have a massive house yet both our children (aged 6 and 4) are in the box room together. They couldn't care less. They want to be together and they place no value on room size. When they're older, I'm sure it'll change, but while they're little, they really don't care. Nobody has ever commented on me giving the kids a tiny bedroom when I could give them much bigger rooms. Nobody else cares about where your children sleep.

formerbabe · 21/07/2019 09:34

I think you need to get some help for your anxiety.

This is a non issue. Your children each have their own rooms. Lots of children have no choice but to share bedrooms. It's a room for a four year old to sleep in...if it fits a bed in for him then it's fine.

mrsdolittle · 21/07/2019 09:35

Honestly don't worry about it. Your child has a roof over his head and mum who obviously loves and cares for him. You are doing your absolute best for him and that's what matters.

Anyone who judges you by the size of a child's bedroom is a twat!

Veryouting123 · 21/07/2019 09:36

It's nothing to feel guilty about at all OP!

If it helps perhaps you could upload a picture and some of us savvy space savers could give you some tips.

Bambamber · 21/07/2019 09:36

Who do you feel is late thing at you? Most people wouldn't even know the size of your children's rooms for starters

SavoyCabbage · 21/07/2019 09:38

There are dc all over the country in small,bedrooms. This is the UK.

I lived in a street of identical houses. We all had a child in the box room. Nobody was thinking about it. My neighbour has her enormous over six foot fifteen year old in hers as it was that or he shares a room and she thought he needed his own space, The small room was tiny. The bed took up more than half the space. My dd had to share a wardrobe with her sister as there was no room in her room. She was a fine.

F2Feee · 21/07/2019 09:39

I think you have lost sight of what's important. Your DC have a roof over their heads and are cared for. You do realise alot of people arent in this position?

flissfloss65 · 21/07/2019 09:39

To feel better about it why not look at ideas for small rooms. There are some fantastic space saving beds with inbuilt storage, desk, seating area. They look really good fun.

Thekingintheeast · 21/07/2019 09:41

Do you think your child will remember the small bedroom or will they remember your care, love and safety. As somebody who works with small children, I can guarantee that it’s the latter.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 21/07/2019 09:41

We're in a one bedroom flat,DD shares with me and OH. I know things will have to change in a few years,but at the moment she's happy with the set up.

Ithinkmycatisevil · 21/07/2019 09:42

My kids had to share a single bedroom that was probably 7.5ft by 7ft until they were 9&6. They’d have been half for a tiny box room of their own.

Lots of kids have small rooms, it’s juts how it is and certainly doesn’t make you a bad mum.

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