Small bedroom, bad mum?

[tashakg89]

So I've got a (small)three bed house and ever since I moved in there five years ago I've had horrendous anxiety over the little bedroom, it is 5'11 by 6'9, the second bedroom is fairly small too (9'10 by 7'9) although I'm ok with that size and is plenty big enough for my six year old. My four year old is in the tiny box room and I feel constant guilt and daily anxiety about it. I can't afford to move and won't be doing so for another 4-5 years but I just want to enjoy my house and I can't as I feel like everyone's laughing at me and thinking I'm a bad mum for putting him in a such small bedroom.
I'm constantly on Rightmove too comparing it to other box bedrooms and it really is the smallest one I've ever seen.

What do other people think? Does anyone else have children in tiny bedrooms?

My small bedroom is 9'9 x 6'9.

We can't opened the wardrobe doors because the bed is in the way 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP it really doesn't matter. Having a home and feeling safe is worth so much more than one of your kids having a tiny bedroom.

I shared a bedroom with my parents until I was 10. There was 6 of us in two bedrooms. You do what you have to do.

As a child my sister and I shared the box room. There were 8 of us in a 3 bed house, my 4 brothers shared the biggest room, my parents the middle room and the 2 of us were in the box room. It was cramped but no one died! Please stop worrying

Strange thing to worry about, my upstairs neighbours were a family of 5 all living in a one bed flat. Your child has their own room, lots don’t.

I brought my son up from 5 to 18 in a room that size. We were just very careful with furniture and wall shelving. It was all I could afford at the time. A tint 2 bed home. The kitchen was practically a cupboard as well. He has fond memories of our little home and didn't suffer at all from having such a tiny room. I'm glad he wasn't a hulking 6 footer though.

My 20 year old son is in the smallest bedroom (very small)
And he is 6 foot 2.
That's the way it is. He moans occasionally. I tell him to suck it up
No one else in the world cares

@Madamwaffle have you considered replacing the wardrobe doors with a curtain?

I grew up sharing a bedroom with my two sister and I longed for a bedroom of my own no matter how small for my own space and privacy.

Until dd2 moved out just recently, two adult women shared one largish room and teen ds ( all 6 foot 2 of him) had the box room.we live in an upstairs flat with sloping eaves so DS coukdnt even stand up straight in his room! He has now swapped with Dd1 ( mainly because he needs room for his guitars and amps) but he doesnt seem to have suffered any adverse effects. Really, dont worry about it.

My nearly 6' DS is in our box room. It's tiny and he does moan a bit as he's like a double bed, but he accepts the situation. He wouldn't want to move as he likes where we live as it's near all his friends, college, etc.

It's just one of those things. At least he has his own room and doesn't have to share with a sibling.

I loved my box room, really did. I had the room from the age of about 6 until I left home.

You've used quite strong terms to describe your feelings about this. It isn't reasonable to feel high levels of anxiety daily about the size of your child's bedroom, especially when she has it to herself.

Could it be that the problem her is your mental well-being, not the size of the bedroom?

My 3 year old is in the box room.
The new baby will have to stay in the room with us till they are a toddler and we can afford to move probably.

I don't feel guilty or anxious about it.

I'm prepared to bet your house is one of several in your area with exactly the same size rooms, and that in the vast majority of those cases the small room is used as a bedroom. No-one is laughing at you.

My 10yo is in a bedroom that has enough space for a single bed and a bedside table beside it (she’s in a high sleeper atm). It’s not great but it is what it is and we’ve made it cosy. She’ll be able to shift into a bigger room when her big sister takes the plunge and moves out so hopefully will have a little more space when she’s a teen.

Millions of houses around the country have tiny third bedrooms. Even expensive ones.

What do other people think? Does anyone else have children in tiny bedrooms?

Just about everyone.

I shared a bed with my sister until she was sixteen, when our older sister moved out and the middle sister moved into her bed. You're obsessing about what other people think, when nobody knows or cares what your children's sleeping arrangements are.

My 17yr old is in a room not much bigger than that OP! He's just happy he has his own little space and doesn't have to share with his brother anymore. It's never occurred to me that people would think I was a bad mum because of it, and if they did well I don't really care because he is well fed, warm and loved, just as your DC is and that's all that really matters.

Most newish builds have the box room don't and somebody usually sleeps in it just fine, you really need to let this go it is driving you up the wall.

Can you fit your bed in it?

Of course other people have their kids in a box room. My DS has the box room here, none of the room are particularly big, but my DD got the biggest one (which still isn't that big) and we got the middle sized one, butomce we put the bed in the room, we actually have less space. If it bothers you, look at ways to maximise what little space you do have.

When I had to put my sons in separate rooms (biggish age gap, older was keeping younger awake), my eldest had to move in to the utility room and share a room a teeny bit bigger than a single bed with a boiler unit. There wasn't room for any furniture and you could only get out of bed sideways.

He was so delighted to have his own space that he didn't care and spent the next four years happily in there. When he moved out, one of his sisters (who'd previously shared) moved into it!

My 5yo had a tiny bedroom in my old house and I felt awful about it too. I’ve recently moved and both children have nice double bedrooms but there’s also a very tiny study - too small even for a single bed! - and when we went to view the house DS “claimed” it as his room and was most put out when I said he couldn’t have it! He’d absolutely love a tiny room. So what we think is a hardship can in fact be a bonus to a child.

OP, I can't imagine that yours is the only house in the country with a bedroom that size; of course other children are sleeping in a box room!

If it helps any I have two in a bunkbed in a small room! They seem happy enough!